Bab 48: Under The Guise Of Our First Time

"Mr. Xiao, we're ready to move," one of Xiao Zhi-Ren's bodyguards informed him in a courteous manner.

Xiao Zhi-Ren looked at his younger brother's swollen face and sighed in defeat. He placed an ice compressor on his face and said, "Behave yourself and don't you dare to run around uselessly."

Xiao Zhi-Yuan nodded in compliance and watched on as Xiao Zhi-Ren left the apartment.

With a group of five people walking behind him in an orderly manner, Xiao Zhi-Ren walked out of the condominium building. He was invited to an important conference tonight otherwise, he wouldn't leave his brother alone at any cost. He hadn't even moved from the lobby when his cellphone rang and in his moment of distraction, he bumped straight into someone's body.

"Crack!"

He looked at his phone which now had a cracked screen and heard a gasp, making him lift his eyes. His gaze fell on Ru who was cupping her mouth in disbelief. He believed that the young 'man' felt bad for breaking his phone again. But he couldn't have been more wrong than that.

And he realized it when he heard Ru's accusing voice, "You murderer!"

"Huh?" Xiao Zhi-Ren looked at 'him' with a gaped mouth. "What? What do you mean?"

"Mr. Xiao, you murdered my chocolate!" Ru's voice dropped an octave taking Xiao Zhi-Ren by surprise since he felt a heavy pressure. Following her gaze, Xiao Zhi-Ren realized that he had stepped on a bar of chocolate. Xiao Zhi-Ren thought that Ru couldn't possibly shock him any more than this but she did yet again in the very next moment as she extended her hand and said, "Give me money for my chocolate."

The bodyguards behind Xiao Zhi-Ren shared the same look as their master. They all looked lost for some reason. Xiao Zhi-Ren took deep breaths and reminded her, "Mr. Xie, you broke my cellphone and I'm not even asking for the compensation here."

Ru rolled her eyes at him as she pulled out a cellphone from her jacket and pushed it towards him saying, "You have a new phone. Now, give me money for my chocolate."

Xiao Zhi-Ren looked at the phone that was pushed into his hands and realized that it was a brand new cellphone. 'Why was he carrying it?' He thought but didn't voice out his question.

Even if he did, Ru wouldn't tell him that she had a habit of murdering her own cellphones in anger which was why there was always a spare phone in her jacket.

"Mr. Xie, are you money hungry? Aren't you a billionaire?" Xiao Zhi-Ren couldn't help but ask this question. It was very weird for him seeing Ru asking for money and that too for a chocolate bar!

"I do love money, you have a problem?" Ru bit back at him.

"Money can't buy happiness." Xiao Zhi-Ren thought he was being the smart one in this conversation as he the upper hand but as always, he really underestimated Ru's damn mouth.

"Mr. Xiao money can't buy happiness and I know that." Xiao Zhi-Ren felt good but his smile immediately stiffened at her next words. "But money can buy chocolate and food. And for me, there is no difference between food, chocolates, and happiness."

Xiao Zhi-Ren clenched his fists tightly having the urge to crack Ru's mind to see what it was filled with. Where do these strange replies come from? He couldn't understand at all!

"What are you?" Xiao Zhi-Ren gritted his teeth in exasperation.

Ru shrugged her broad shoulders languidly saying, "I'm not sure about what I am but I'm sure about what I'm not."

"And what's that?" He asked curiously.

"I'm definitely not a piece of cake." Xiao Zhi-Ren was speechless at her reply. He shook his head and pulled out his wallet but before he could pull out the bills, Ru stopped him, "Forget it! I just realized it was my mistake also for not looking ahead. I was too lost in the blissful taste of that soft, sweet..." she gulped her saliva, got rid of the dreamy look and added, "Aish! Just go!"

"You should take the money now," Xiao Zhi-Ren said in a plain voice not understanding her strange mind.

"Mr. Xiao, keep the money and order a bit of happiness with some smiles and lots and lots of love. For your own self. You need it." Ru patted on his shoulder and turned sideways to leave when she heard his voice.

"Not everyone's definition of happiness is a bar of chocolate, Mr. Xiao. Some people really can't buy happiness." His voice was heavy as he spoke but Ru smiled lopsidedly at his reply.

"It's not a coincidence that stressed spelled backward is desserts. And if you still can't find happiness in food. There is definitely something wrong with you." She took another step ahead and added, "And in my opinion, there is only one possibility for a person when they can't find happiness."

"And what's that?" Xiao Zhi-Ren was genuinely interested in knowing her answer.

"You are not letting go of the things that actually made you unhappy in the first place." Ru smiled at him and left. Not realizing that her words made Xiao Zhi-Ren stuck to his spot.

"Sir?" Hearing the voice of his bodyguard, Xiao Zhi-Ren snapped out of it and got on his ride in silence.

Ru's last words unknowingly brought out some memories that he held close to his heart for years.

*Flashback*

He stood far away looking at the lonely figure sitting on a wheelchair in the balcony. With the gauze around her eyes, she couldn't see the world and yet, her hands were extended out as if trying to catch the air or perhaps, feel it.

Standing under the starry night, his only wish was to look at the dark mess that she was. She was all alone and yet, he couldn't find a single trace of helplessness in her. All he felt around her was an enchanting aura. Even with her wan and sallow appearance, her aura was enchanting enough for people.

"Are you going to just stand there?" Xiao Zhi-Ren was startled as he realized that she felt his presence but his question was how? As if listening to his thoughts, she answered in her feeble voice, "Your rugged, intense cedarwood along with Oud scent is quite peculiar. It's not hard to recognize you especially when you are the only one in this room."

Xiao Zhi-Ren smiled softly and paced up to stand beside her as he leaned against the railing. "What are you doing out of your bed at this time?" He asked.

"I'm looking for joy." Xiao Zhi-Ren frowned at that answer as she went on, "This slight touch of a cool breeze against my hand and those crickets' sound of running in the garden, that's the joy I was looking for."

"I didn't know that happiness can be found so easily," Xiao Zhi-Ren remarked in a sorrowful tone.

"Happiness is not in the world, it's within our own hearts." He heard her faint voice.

"Then why are looking for it outside?"

"The only people who look for happiness outside are the ones who can no longer find it inside them." She sighed heavily as she added, "Breaking the shackles of sadness, we have to embrace the fear of future tides... Only then we can live in the happiness of the present." Her fingers touched the metal railing as she went on, "I need some time to break the shackles and before that, I'll look for joy in the world."

Xiao Zhi-Ren kept staring at the mole right above the edge of her lips. He couldn't move his gaze away. "I suddenly have a weird wish." He started in a low but gentle voice, "I wish there comes a day when you and I meet under the guise of it being our first time all over again."

Her lips curled up in a ghostly smile as she said, "No wish is weird in this world."

*End of Flashback*

And Xiao Zhi-Ren believed those words. He only had those words to believe in. Since he hated the fact that he met her when she was crumbling down. He hated seeing the scars on her body. He hated the fact that she couldn't see or walk ever again. He hated everything about the way they met except for one thing; he couldn't hate meeting her at any cost.

Xiao Zhi-Ren looked at the sky through the window pane and whispered,

"Looking at the starry night,

I'm reminded of you all over again tonight

You made me believe in destiny

Here I am longing for you desperately

Even if it can't be under the guise of our first time

I'm begging

Pleading

Please, come back to stay between my arms for a lifetime..."

He sighed out as the feeling of her absence made it difficult to breathe for him. It happened every time. He always lost his composure whenever that one person's memory came back to his mind.