Bab 14: Yoo Jonghyuk's side quest #13: Compliments are good for the health. [part 10]
Reflected in those sunken eyes was the figure of the regressor's back moving further and further away, a picture that brought a suffocating feeling upon his aching chest as if all of his emotions wanted to forcefully break out from his heart. All he could hear is the heavy thumping of his heart as if the entire world turned silent except for the echo of each beat falling in his ears.
But it was all late...
"Dokja-hyung, may I use the toilet?" Kim Sunri asked while covering her face with her hands, she tried very hard to restrain the gloating smile on her lips.
Kim Dokja weakly nodded while he closed the lids of his lackluster eyes, what had come out as an answer from his mouth was just a vague lugubrious hum.
She didn't mind her cousin dry response and instead, she felt even more gratified inside because of how depressed her cousin must have been feeling. Kim Sunri, for the first time in her life, felt accomplished. It was a bad deed, she knows, but it was still her effort. And now, she hoped to be finally noticed by her father. This is what her uncle promised her after all. The girl's eyes bent in two crescents as she thought about her past exchange with Kim Sungwoo.
"Kim Sunri this is your chance to shine, do you understand? If you manage to get hold of Kim Dokja's inheritance, your parents would be proud of you!"
"They... Would be proud of me?"
"Yes!"
Going upstairs, she felt all giddy inside and couldn't wait to share the good news with her uncle. She thought herself as someone sly, how naïve and ingenious. No matter what, a little cunning ferret can only be a prey for the old sly fox. Kim Sunri had blindly trusted that dim glimmer of hope that her uncle gave her, but unbeknownst to her, she wasn't the on the 'deceiving' party because she had been part of the 'deceived' party all along.
Still standing in front of that door, Kim Dokja slowly shifted his gaze towards a cabinet beside the doorway. He stretched his hand forward to reach for something, and then he lightly gripped the handle before pulling the drawer towards him. Various items were scattered inside, but he knew something was missing inside that chaotic mess. He could hold on the silver hope that someday he would come back. But that was just Kim Dokja's wishful thinking.
In the past, Kim Dokja considered lying a vile action, he didn't like dishonesty and absolutely despised when someone else lied to him. Truthfulness and integrity were two of the virtue that he used to value the most, and yet look at him now, there wasn't even a single day where he didn't spend lying to others or himself. Looking back at what his initial thoughts were, Kim Dokja couldn't help but mockingly laugh at his own pretentiousness back then.
What a hypocrite he was in the past.
But what about now?
Kim Dokja listlessly raised his arm, shifting his gaze down while he watched his hand slowly clenching with hesitance. How utterly laughable he was.
Staring at those fragile bony hands, Kim Dokja is well aware that this body of his was even more effeminate and willow-like than a woman's. His unhealthy eating habits made him look like this. He never ate for savoring the food, he merely regards it as an essential intake of nutrients he needs to consume daily to keep his body's functions working. Everything that enters his mouth tasted bland anyway. Everything, expect...
Kim Dokja couldn't help a bitter laugh escaping from his jeering mouth. Indeed, it really had been the most delicious food he had ever eaten in his entire life. Although it was most likely that he won't be able to taste it ever again.
This feeble body that had been already covered with countless bruises. There was an emotion which kept gnawing his self-esteem away, it was a certain thought looming over his conscience, a certain realization that he had been always so useless all along. However, each time those dark thoughts managed to reach him, it had been always the same person who unwittingly saved him.
Shaking his head, Kim Dokja softly lifted up the corners of his mouth in a sad smile, while his eyes filled with undisguised yearning. Yes, he was weak but not powerless.
"After all... Weak people have their own way to fight, right?"
After a moment of reminiscence, the teen tightened his grip, digging his nails into the soft pale skin of the palm of his hand. The pain helped him to stay focused on his current objective. Maybe after all this ordeal, he could even try to redeem himself for his wrongdoings.
During the time Kim Sunri had been away, Kim Dokja took advantage of the situation and brought out his phone to inform the person that had influenced his behavior today. The screen lit up and he tapped on the call icon. Kim Dokja doesn't have many contacts saved inside his phone, actually, there were so few numbers saved on his list that it was almost too pitiful to look at it. But this was ought to happen because he hadn't befriended many people in the first place, he wasn't exactly a social butterfly as you can see.
However, the first number appearing up in the log call list was a recent contact he had acquired. And it was no other than the masked individual that Kim Dokja knew but at the same time didn't.
That man revealed himself a few days ago with a message. Moreover, inside the text he sent, there was a file attached containing a 'piece of advice' as he called it.
The information he got with the text was his name, Jun. And the advice was... ostracizing himself from Yoo Jonghyuk.
The file was a report about the recent activities of some people from the Kim family. And to say it more specifically, the main focus of that report was the secret information of a recent reunion they had partaken in. The topic of the meeting was the doubt that had arisen amongst them regarding Yoo Jonghyuk's identity. They began regarding him as Kim Dokja's guardian, a potential threat for them because of their fear that the young teen would give all his inheritance to that man instead of them.
If their target had been only him, then he could have also given himself the privilege to pay no heed to them. As if he was willing to become a mere puppet who does only what they command him to. Instead of wasting his time with them, he would gladly have spoken with his actions and burned the inheritance in front of their protruding eyes if only he had been given the chance to do so naturally.
Nothing can be sure considering the contorted mindset of those greedy bastards, maybe they planned to kidnap or even killing the regressor for their purpose. And all of this mayhem was caused by something that didn't exist in the first place, how ridiculous can this situation even be?
Realizing the gravity of the situation, Kim Dokja wanted to prevent that from happening at any given cost. He was weak and they will definitely underestimate him because of that. However, he will fully take advantage of their carelessness to show them just how deceptive one's appearance can be.
He must admit that he had grown very fond of the older man, each day spent with him always brought sparks of happiness and excitement in his dull existence. But he didn't want to drag his hyung down with him. He had indeed got a valid reason for his choice, this is the right course of actions to take, for sure there were no other options... He had taken the safest alternative for Yoo Jonghyuk's sake.
Words cannot describe how he hated when someone used the 'It's for your own good' excuse to explain their actions. 'I know for sure what's good for me', one would answer like that. Just as he did back then. But now look at him, doing all the things he used to loathe in the past.
He was still as pretentious as ever.
As Kim Dokja was immersed in his train of thoughts, someone on the other line finally picked up the call. It was a slightly coarse but deep voice answering.
-"You have decided?"
"Jun-ssi, hyung is gone. You can proceed with your plan now."
-"You made the right choice. The further he'll be, the safer it is."
"Hmm."
-"Alright, coming up in a few minutes. Try to entertain the girl until I arrive."
"Do I really have to?"
-"Or knock her out. You choose."
"..."
***
Dashing down the stairs cheerfully, Kim Sunri arrived inside the living room and quickly went beside her taciturn cousin whose head hung low. Her eyes were no longer moistened by those big crocodile tears. Looking at the bleak aura in the surroundings and feeling the low morale of the teen, all of this has brought her a twisted sense of achievement.
"Dokja-hyung that man called Yoo Jonghyuk really wasn't a good person. It's a relief that now he's gone, right?"
This is it. Now he had enough. It was as if something inside Kim Dokja's body snapped, like an unstoppable surging wave, releasing all at once the pent up hate and resentment trapped within him. The last straw finally broke and now, he is pissed.
"Who are you trying to trick by using that lousy disguise of yours? What lays underneath that paper-thin mask is as clear as the day for me to see."
Speaking with a spiteful and cynical voice that Kim Dokja had never used in his entire life, he kinda enjoyed the feeling of being able to forthrightly mock and insult someone without any concerns for the repercussions.
The bewildered expression plastered all over Kim Sunri's small lovely face was really a sight to behold. But unfortunately for her, the pure shock she displayed wasn't enough to appease the angry beast inside Kim Dokja. An insatiable feeling of schadenfreude welled up inside his heart. And now that he really wanted to mess with someone, he will not hold back.
The teen may not be adept in the physical department, but to compensate his lack of brute force was his bright and deceitful mind. Psychological onslaughts were one of the hidden trump cards he often used to escape sticky situations. He never actually used it for attacking anyone, so this will be a new experience.
"Trying so hard to pursue that little 'happiness' of yours."
"How did you...!"
"Each time you try to tell yourself everything will be better... Aren't you just reminding yourself of how bad and depressing is your situation?"
Kim Sunri's stumbled as the shock hit her. She couldn't believe that her cover had been blown away this easily. But that didn't mean she will stand here and do nothing against Kim Dokja's verbal assault!
"Then let's get straight to the point. Where's the inheritance?"
Innocently tilting his head sideways, as if he was trying to act cute and dumb. Kim Dokja answered with clear eyes. "What inheritance?"
"Then let me rephrase the question in a better way." Kim Sunri sat in front of the frowning teen and crossed her arms while lifting her chin up before speaking with a condescending tone. "Do you want revenge?"
"The people looking at you like an entertaining freak show while gossiping about you. Don't you hate them all?"
"They are all wary of you, a tad little bit too smart and you'll be a possible psychopath. Wolf in sheep's clothing is what they say."
He inhaled sharply before holding his breath inside. He forgot that his mental fortitude was also slightly unstable. She was right, people always pointed fingers at him for everything. He also wondered how he had survived so long under those distasteful conditions. They say that time heals everything, but that statement wasn't made for someone like Kim Dokja.
"People are quick to judge someone they don't know. What they love the most is to slander and condemn others..."
It was a one-sided barrage of bitter words directed at him. Kim Dokja had thought that at this point he would already start to feel a stifling sensation inside his heart, but to his dismay, what had filled it instead was an odd apathetic sense of loss.
"You are nothing but a son of a drunkard and a criminal. This is who you are and this won't change, ever."
A small voice inside his head kept buzzing his ears together with Kim Sunri. 'Yes, that's right. That's what you are.'
"So why don't you just get rid of everything? What's worth in your life anyway?"
'That's right. Why don't you just give up?'
Kim Sunri's voice kept falling into his ears like a devil's whisper. As if it was tempting him to sin. The voice of his depressed self who just wanted to rest forever pushed him deep inside his thoughts again.
What was time for him? It was just a meaningless handful of sand seeping through his fingers every day. Everybody keeps saying that he will learn and understand when he grows up. But what has he learned those years?
Endurance. That's what he learned.
All those empty words alongside the jeering and mocking became Kim Dokja's familiar background music. A messy orchestra with himself at the center playing a sonata disliked by everyone. A chaotic over-sophisticated symphony used to describe Kim Dokja's somber mundane routine, narrating his disharmonious life filled with pointless struggles.
The only visible changes were the physical ones, time did nothing else but that. Although he seemed to have grown taller. Can anybody tell him why the sky seemed to get further and further away from his reach?
Painstakingly trying, only to be rewarded with another failure. Maybe that's the reason he began reading that novel.
He finally found someone he can relate to.
This was his first thought, but soon he realizes how wrong he was. They were different, completely diverse. Because 'Yoo Jonghyuk' was stronger than him. Watching the regressor growing stronger to overcome his difficulties and even though sometimes he had to use some extreme measures to pass his challenges, that raw suave charisma had awakened a deep-rooted sense of admiration and one-sided companionship towards him.
"Yes... My life was rather meaningless. But I had something that kept me going."
He often imagined what could have changed in his life if he behaved more courageously like 'Yoo Jonghyuk'. But that was all the time he spent daydreaming.
"His name is Yoo Jonghyuk. And even though his personality sucks, he is still my hero."
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
Arrange
Arrange After this I'm going to drown inside my own anxiety because my test are next week! Ugh! ?? Everybody wish me luck because I will need a lot of it! ?
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone