Bab 26: Izuku Panics

Izuku didn't so much as wake up as he was jolted back to reality. It felt like what he imagined being hit with an electric shock felt like. There was something wet on his hand. It wasn't completely wet, like he'd stuck his hand out into a drizzle. Why was his hand wet?

Behind his eyelids, the world slowly clicked back into place. It trickled in slowly. He could sense and feel the emotions surrounding him. Worry. Shock. Fear. Anxiety. Guilt. Hope. Anticipation.

Izuku furrowed his brows. Why? Why did everything feel… strange? It felt like he was sensing the emotions through a fogged glass. Like it was there but wasn't at the same time. He knew they were there, but actually making sense of the feelings was a whole different story altogether. Pinpointing what the emotions were had given him a splitting headache.

The green-haired teen tentatively opened an eyelid, flinching almost immediately from the bright glare of the lights above him.

"Sorry about that, dearie," he heard, the lights dimming behind his eyelids.

He felt someone clutching at his hand. It was almost painful. Who was it? The only one who possibly would worry that much would be… Kacchan?

At the thought, the emotions he had been sensing earlier hit him like a freight train with a driver high off his own Quirk. The fog blocking him out earlier dissipated all at once, like it had never been there. The clarity and focus snapped back into place like it never left in the first place.

Izuku gasped a little and mentally flexed his senses, his range expanding. He categorized every Aura he was feeling before retracting his senses again. He subconsciously focused on the Aura next to him.

Kacchan? Why was he so worried?

Wait… Kacchan?

Izuku's eyes shot open at the thought, his eyes immediately darting to the person clutching his hand. Tears started filling his eyes. He could feel Kacchan again. He could feel him. Izuku was immediately flooded with a pure, unadulterated sense of relief. It felt like all the tension had been released from his body.

He felt good. He could feel Kacchan. He could feel other people as well. It was almost like the previous incident didn't happen at all. What happened?

Little droplets slipped down his face. Kacchan looked emotionless. He made a little aborted motion towards Izuku's face before stopping. He felt like he was holding himself back. A strong sense of self-reproach was tinting his Aura. The relief that Izuku had been feeling earlier evaporated as he felt the emotions the other was projecting. Why? Why? What happened?

The hand clutching Izuku's slowly retreated. Izuku tried to grab the other's hand, but Kacchan subtly rejected him. A sense of panic started to make its way through Izuku's body. Did Kacchan not want him anymore?

Izuku shot Kacchan an alarmed look, still not sure what was happening. He looked around for his teacher, wondering if he would fill him in. Kacchan didn't feel like he wanted to do that. Kacchan was projecting a grim determination, along with the guilt that had been plaguing him ever since that one fateful day.

Izuku found Aizawa-sensei and Recovery Girl watching him carefully. It felt like they were waiting for something to happen. Like they were waiting for something to go wrong or were waiting for him to do something radical.

"I – I – Aizawa-sensei? What happened?" Izuku asked tentatively, not sure if they had the answers he was looking for.

Once Izuku looked back at Kacchan, he couldn't bring himself to look away. The blonde's Aura was plagued with indecision and apprehension. Why? What had he done? Kacchan wouldn't meet his eyes. He was looking away, refusing to look in his direction at all.

Izuku tried to think back to the incident, desperation mounting inside him. He didn't think he did anything wrong. In fact, he was pretty sure he just fainted or passed out without doing much. Did he do something while he was unconscious?

Aizawa-sensei pinched his chin and turned his head gently towards him, making him tear his eyes away from Kacchan.

"Hey. How are you feeling?"

Izuku's eyes darted towards Kacchan, but he couldn't quite see him, only seeing the faintest colour of blonde from his peripheral vision. His eyes returned to looking at his stressed-out teacher. He was projecting worry, just like Recovery Girl, even if his face was set to be neutral.

The green-haired teen struggled to answer, not quite sure what they wanted to hear.

"I – I'm fine."

Aizawa-sensei hit him with a deadpan look, his exasperation tinging his Aura. "I'm sure," he said, "Do you want Bakugou to leave the room while we try and explain what happened?"

"No –" Izuku immediately blurted out, hurriedly stopping any thoughts of expulsion of the blonde from the room.

Kacchan's Aura swirled with a mix of gratefulness as well as unhappiness. There was something that felt familiar to him. He hoped he would never feel it again, but there was the slightest bit of Kacchan feeling the hints of rejection, like he had before Izuku's trip to the hospital.

"Okay," his teacher said, causing him to relax the slightest bit. "Now, answer truthfully, okay?" the teacher said, waiting for his nod before he continued. "Is there anything wrong with your bond with Bakugou? I used Erasure on your Quirk earlier, and I'm sorry. I didn't know about the potential implications that might have happened because I didn't know about your Quirk."

Izuku gave a jerky nod, not quite sure where this was going. Wait. Erasure. His teacher was Eraserhead! Erasing of Quirks. Erasing of his Soulmate Quirk. Erasure of… his bond with Kacchan?!

The green-haired teen paled immediately. No. He regained some colour in his face. He could still feel Kacchan, and his feelings were still as strong as ever. But, why was Kacchan rejecting him? The little colour that had returned to his face fled again at the thought.

He could feel the eyes studying his reactions, but he had no liberty of any other thoughts now. Was this why? Was this why Kacchan had rejected him? Was still rejecting him? Did he think their bond was broken? Did he think that now that Izuku's bond to him was gone, he would be able to absolve himself of any guilt? Kacchan was going to leave him?

Izuku felt the tears prick his eyes, his traitorous tear ducts bringing out his tears. The teen struggled with himself. If… if being away from him made Kacchan happy, who was he to deny the teen that? How could he be so selfish as to keep Kacchan all for himself? Kacchan never wanted this in the first place. Izuku had been the one shoving his feelings in the other teen's face. This all developed because of him, after all. Because of his Quirk.

Kacchan had been feeling the guilt for so long. Wasn't it better for him to pretend that the bond was gone so that Kacchan would be free? He would no longer be chained down by Izuku's emotions. Izuku felt a hysterical laugh bubble up inside of him. What a joke. He was wandering in a maze of his own creation, a labyrinth of his own making, and he was the one making Kacchan play alongside him.

It felt like a heavy weight had sunk to the bottom of his stomach the moment he made up his mind. "Yes," he said, voice barely a whisper, shaky and uncertain. "I don't feel the bond anymore."

Kacchan's Aura spiked with distress before it was gone almost immediately. Izuku wasn't sure if he imagined it or not. Maybe he was just looking for things that weren't there to keep the blonde for himself.

"I see," came an emotionless voice. Izuku shuddered hearing that, the weight in his stomach increasing. He had a sinking feeling. He didn't know if he could handle life without Kacchan again.

Izuku couldn't bring himself to look over, the blonde teen's emotions surprisingly masked. He wasn't sure if it was because Kacchan had somehow learnt how to hide his emotions from him or if he himself was subconsciously blocking out how the other felt in his apprehension.

There was a silence in the room. The silence was deafening. Then, he heard the door open and shut gently. Izuku's body shook with involuntary trembles, instantaneously hit with a tidal wave of regret. He felt disgusted with himself. He was so selfish that he wished he could take back those words the moment they left his mouth. Kacchan really was better off without a selfish person with him.

The freckled teen squeezed his eyes shut, a few stray tears escaping from his eye ducts once again. The fingers on his chin retreated, allowing him to drop his head, shielding anyone else from seeing the regret filling his eyes.

Aizawa ran a hand down his face as his student let out a sob. "Shit."