Bab 9: phone call part II
Silence.
Only the breathing was audible from the other side of the phone.
"I guess he slept", she said while thinking out loud. " I didn't even get the chance to thank him for helping me through my panic attack. This is awkward" she continued in a saddened and disappointed tone as she was about to hangup.
"You're welcome, Anya" Daniel said finally. Still unable to realise she was actually going through a panic attack all this time.
Although he never went through something like that himself, he knew how tormenting it was.
"Oh ! I'm.. I-I don't. I mean, thank you, Daniel. I'm v-very sorry you had to go through that" she managed to say with a bigger difficulty than what she had anticipated.
Daniel didn't want the awkward atmosphere to last for any longer nor did he want to make her feel embarrassed.
" Well, the least I can say is that none of my first conversations with a girl has ever been this intense before" he said sarcastically in an attempt to make her laugh.
To his surprised, she actually laughed. He didn't know if it was out of politeness or if it was genuine, but either of those would do.
"Great first impressions, huh?" Anya said, this time, with much more fluent tongue and less startling.
"You keep surprising me. Wonder what else you got up your sleeve" Daniel added jokingly.
Anya laughed slightly before a silence rained. It was not an awkward one, it was a silence that was needed before saying something serious.
"It all happened 7 years ago", Anya started. "I was still in elementary school. My parent always came to pick me up usually, except for that tragic day. We lived quite far from my school so they never allowed me to go back home alone." Anya paused.
Daniel was just listening. He knew it wasn't the right time to talk yet.
Anya continued, feeling indebted to him for his help with at least an explanation. "That day in particular, it was raining heavily. I didn't have an umbrella with me. I was too busy playing in the rain whilst waiting for them anyways. Although both my parents warned me not to. They were very protective of me as I had a weak metabolism since birth. Even my delivery to this world was life threatening to both me and my mother in her 8th month of pregnancy. So I was always more keen to be ill than other kids" Anya paused again.
Daniel couldn't stop her although he realised how hard it was for her. He thought letting it out would help her.
"That day, almost an hour passed, and no one came to pick me up. I decided to go home alone thinking I was so brave. I knew my parents were busy so I wanted to be less of a burden on them for once" she continued. "After walking for about half an hour, I started feeling tired. I was getting weaker and feeling colder each step of the way". Anya swallowed hard at the memory of what was to come in the story. "I managed to reach the bakery where my mother worked alongside with her best friend after about 40 minutes of walking. When I got there, my mother was alone and the look on her face worried me more than it did reassure me. Before I could say anything, I fainted in the doorstep and collapsed on the ground". Anya stopped again, took a deep breath a few times.
Daniel always on the other side, listening silently and patiently.
She took off from where she stopped,
"The rest of what happened is only fragmented, it is mostly pieces of memories I managed to remember from the times I was conscious without anyone noticing.
After my mother saw me in that state, she called my father who came as quickly as he could. My mother measured my temperature, it was 43°C. They closed the store and on their way to take me to the emergency room where my aunt works. From what I recall, they were arguing whilst in the car. Arguing because of-because of me. Blaming it on each other that I ended up like this although it was actually all my fault".
At this point, Daniel wanted to interfere and negate what she said. To tell her it wasn't her fault again. However, before he could do so, she finished "On the way there, my dad lost control over his car because of the rain. We got into 2 successive car crashes. The first one pushed us to the edge of a road and the 2nd one threw us over it. We ended up in a pretty bad state. The rest of the story was told to me by aunt Claire, my mum's friend. After hearing about my health they rushed to the hospital to see me. They ended up welcoming my parents who were in critical state alongside with my weak body instead". Guilt crumbled inside of her.
A feeling of nausea was settling now. But she went on without realising it "I was in a coma for about 2 weeks. When I woke up, I was an orphan that everyone looked at both with pity and what I felt like disgust.
My aunt from my dad side, Isabelle, never failed to remind me of how it was my fault. I can't really blame her, she never liked my mother despite all those years of marriage with my father. She grew to hate me as well, her own niece, after what happened to her brother.
Now I live with her because I don't have any other close relatives. and since i was below 18, she had custody over me". Anya finished and cleared her thought.
She tried to think of something to say in order to ease the atmosphere. But before she could think of anything to say, Daniel spoke "I don't remember my mother. She left us when I was 3 years old. And no, not because of death but because she wanted to, I suppose."
Daniel took a few seconds before continuing "I can't believe I'm telling you this either but, somehow, I understand what you feel. I blamed myself when I was young too. I thought it was because of me that she went back to Germany. My stepmother didn't help me cope with it any better. So I know what it's like to feel unwanted and guilty".
Anya's lips curved into a sad smile "It must have been horrible for you to deal with this at such young age. What did your father have to say about this, though?" She asked.
"Hmm, I guess he was more focused on grieving on her departure. Mostly absent and when he was home he was never sober. We never shared our feelings with each other and he never talks about her. To be fair, I never ask about her anymore either. " Daniel replied with a voice that sounded melancholic.
"How old were you when all that happened ?" Anya asked curiously. which lead to a long conversation between the two who talked through the phone for the next few hours that night.
It was a night full of melancholia and nostalgia. Unlike the previous night, their conversation wasn't as bubbly. Thus, they felt even closer to each other now that both shared aspects of their lives they thought they would tell no one about.
It was a night full of secrets, memories, comfort and the feeling of mutual understanding.
Letting out what they bottled up for so long was like a fresh breeze they never knew they needed.
And so, their bounds grew stronger and the feeling of trust was planting its seeds.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
coldcaffeine
coldcaffeine thank you for reading, coffee cups ♥
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