Bab 159: Where is the happy family?

Caihong raised her trembling hands and stared at them. "Xiaosi you know...I have no right to be angry at your mother. Because I am not doing anything different from her. B-But...but still Xiaosi…" her eyes turned slightly red, "I still feel mad at your mother for leaving you all alone. I am so, so mad at her! I am so angry! Y-you were there right in front of her. Even so, she turned her back on you and you couldn't even stop her."

She mocked herself. "I am such a hypocrite, am I not? I am the worst woman on this earth. I am hating Chyou, and that isn't anything different from how she left you alone. I am just the same as her. I...hate myself. I loathe myself. Why am I punishing her for something that she had no control of? I knew it all along...I knew it from the beginning. But, I couldn't love her Xiaosi. In front of my life, I couldn't see anything else...But now I realize that I was so selfish.