Bab 53: The Truth About LinLuo
"Fan Luo!" Jin Chonglin grabbed the hysterical woman's upper arms and gently shook her. "Calm down!"
"You can't break up with me! I'll really kill myself!" Fan Luo cried.
He gritted his teeth, trying to rein in his frustration. He could no longer count how many times she threatened him with suicide and reminded him of the miscarriage.
He wasn't stupid. He knew that Fan Luo was using the miscarriage to tie him down. And she succeeded. How else could she get him, Jin Chonglin, to propose to her?
He had no idea that she was so emotional and possessive. In all honesty, she was starting to scare him. Dealing with her on a constant basis drained him. These days, he preferred to work nonstop rather than to spend time with her.
If it were any other woman, he would already wash his hands clean and never look back. However, he couldn't treat Fan Luo like that.
She was a childhood friend. In addition, their mothers were best friends and treated each other like sisters. They wanted to marry their children together to officially solidify their relationship as family.
He had to admit that he never had any deep feelings for Fan Luo other than as a childhood friend.
As they were growing up, perhaps due to both of their mothers' constant attempts to pair them together, Fan Luo also began to fall for him. He knew about her feelings for him, but he never reciprocated.
He rejected her numerous times, telling her that he only saw her as a younger sister, but she would brush his rejections aside and continue to shower him with affection. She didn't cross the line then to seduce him, so he continued to treat her the same way like a sister.
But everything changed one night. He was at a friend's birthday party and drunk a lot. He was the type of person who worked hard and played hard, so getting drunk wasn't something rare for him. However, he didn't know which stupid person called Fan Luo over to come pick him up, but she showed up and drove him back home.
He didn't remember what happened afterwards but when he woke up the next day, Fan Luo was sleeping beside him. Both of them were naked. He was confused and shocked, but looking at all the evidence, he could only conclude that he f*cked his childhood friend while drunk out of his mind. There were dried sem*n all over the sheets and their bodies.
After this incident, it was as if she transformed from an innocent childhood friend into a seductive temptress. He was only a man so against his better judgment, he would lose control every time she seduced him and they would end up f*cking like there was no tomorrow.
He couldn't deny his desire for her body. After some time, he accepted the fact that they had become lovers. However, he never committed to an exclusive relationship with her and she seemed to accept it. He thought that everything was going well.
Until she told him that she was pregnant. His first thought was, "Impossible!"
Except for that night when they had sex for the first time while he was drunk, he always made sure to use protection. And that night was so long ago. She didn't get pregnant then. He also knew that she was on birth control pills. She assured him that she was taking the pills everyday.
But suddenly, she was telling him that due to her doctor's advice for some health reasons, she had to stop taking the pills for a few months. She also told him that condoms weren't 100% foolproof, and perhaps a condom broke without them noticing.
He wasn't ready to be a father. He didn't promise her anything, but swore that he would acknowledge the child as his own once it was proven that it was his.
Of course, his decision infuriated the Fan family. The Fans pressured him to marry her, but he didn't budge.
His mother didn't say anything, but he imagined that she was displeased with him as well because she was very close to Fan Luo's mother. She also treated Fan Luo like a daughter that she never had. Although his mother didn't agree with his reckless decision of pursuing a showbiz career at first, she never stopped him and even quietly supported him.
He didn't care about what others say about him, but his mother's opinion mattered. It didn't mean that he would do anything she asked of him, but she had the power to make him stop and consider his actions. She would gently suggest, but never forcefully order. She always had the policy of letting him and his older brother make the final decisions in their own lives. Perhaps this was why he felt guilty of displeasing her.
However, Jin Chonglin could be very headstrong when he wanted to. If he wanted to do something, he would do it. Similarly, if he didn't want to do something, nobody was capable of forcing him. Not even his mother or his bossy older brother. Otherwise, why would the Second Master of the Jin family disregard his status and pursue a career in showbiz?
He ignored all the pressure from the Fan family, what he imagined to be the displeasure of his own mother, and the barely veiled ridicule of the Jin family elders. That was until he heard the news that Fan Luo was in the hospital in critical condition due to miscarriage.
He wasn't so heartless to ignore Fan Luo at this point. Although he didn't love her, he still cared about her. When he saw her weak and crying nonstop, he was filled with guilt.
They told him she was suffering from depression. He felt so sorry and so guilty, even thinking that it was his fault that she miscarried, that without thinking he proposed marriage to her. Of course, she accepted immediately.
Back to the present.
Jin Chonglin was overwhelmed by all the negative emotions he felt at the moment. Ever since he and Fan Luo became engaged, he always felt like walking on eggshells around her, afraid of triggering her fragile emotional state.
His guilt could only last so long. He was already regretting his decision of proposing to her. He was starting to feel that their relationship was becoming toxic with each passing day. He didn't want to live like this.
However, he already ignited everyone's expectations. His mother didn't force him to do anything, but he could sense that she was pleased with his engagement to her best friend's daughter.
"Calm down," he told her again. "You can't use this against me forever. I already agreed to marry you. Don't go beyond my limits. Don't make me lose my respect for you."
Fan Luo crumpled to the floor, bawling. Her make-up remained impressive as ever though, not ruined by her torrent of tears. She spent a lot to get the latest edition of her favourite brand's waterproof make-up.
"So you don't feel anything at all when I lost our baby? I'm the only one heartbroken? How can you be so heartless, big brother? It was our baby! Your baby!"
Jin Chonglin wavered.
Lin Dong quietly snuck out of the dressing room. Firstly, to allow the engaged couple their privacy; and secondly, to guard the door outside and ensure that nobody was spying on them. This was a sensitive matter after all, perfect material for a scandal.
"I didn't mean that." Jin Chonglin sighed. "Of course I'm sad that you lost our baby. I'm just tired today, Xiao Luo." He helped her stand up and hugged her, rubbing her back to soothe her.
Fan Luo hugged him around the waist tightly. Her tears soaked the front of his shirt. "Oh, big brother! Please don't break up with me. I can't live without you. I love you so much!"
"Okay, okay." He murmured to her, continuing to console her.
He just wanted her to stop crying already. How long was she going to continue crying? His headache hurt so badly.
"I love you, big brother Lin."
"Okay," he mumbled.
He needed some painkillers.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
ArriaCross
ArriaCross Originally, I planned to announce this after the New Year mass release but many of you already started asking me.
I signed a contract, so yes, this novel will eventually become premium. But not immediately. As of now, I still don't know when that will happen. I personally don't want it to happen too early. It will be a joint decision between me and Webnovel.
When it happens, I'll make sure to inform all of you in advance.
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