Bab 52: Petty Vengeance
*BOOM!*
A huge explosion that is akin to the firing of an artillery round went off as Venerable White statue shell was blown away. Soon, Venerable White's true body was revealed once more after over 100 years of Seclusion training. His figure was like that of an immortal that descended from Heaven. The pitch black hair that flowed down his back, and eyes that shined as bright as the stars, not to mention the white clothes billowing in the wind certain doesn't do the story about him justice.
(Well, I'm still more handsome though. 😎) shamelessly thought Shuhang. (More than that though... I actually don't feel anything when I look at him? Sweet. That must mean my charm resistance is high enough. Thank yooou Ddraig. You're my new hero from now on.) After confirming it once more, Shuhang let out a sigh of relief before he moved towards White who seems to also be studying his features with a blank expression.
"Hou, it seems fellow daoist had actually made a break through during your time of seclusion? I give you my congratulations." said Shuhang with a smile as he pretended to have only 'just noticed' White's cultivation level. Then taking out his phone, Shuhang stood besides White, shoulders almost touching, and took a little selfie. With the sudden camera flash, it woke Venerable White up with a start as he looked at Shuhang's phone in curiosity.
"Fellow daoist. That object is...?" White had asked Shuhang as it was something that didn't exist 150 years ago when he went into seclusion.
"Hm? Ah, sorry. I had forgotten that fellow daoist is 150 years behind in modern technology. This device is called a mobile phone that ordinary mortals can use for a number of things. Communicating with each other from anywhere in the world is one of those things. And that flash just now me taking a picture of the both us which I was planning to share with our other fellow daoist. Have a look."
After explaining to White one of the function of a mobile phone, Shuhang then uploaded the picture to the Nine Provinces(1) Chat Group complete with a caption. White being the curious munchkin that he is, of course watched Shuhang going through the whole process. Seeing what Shuhang was typing, White couldn't help but raise a brow and discretely gave Shuhang a glance.
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*DING!*
[Kaleido Sage, Dragon Emperor has uploaded a picture]
[Here with my new best friend, Venerable White who just came out of seclusion 😎👍]
Northern River who is the acknowledged by all as eternal online warrior became the first victim.
[Northern River's Loose Cultivator: "Oh? Senior Dragon Emperor uploaded something?"]
As soon as Northern River looked at the picture of both White and Shuhang together, his cognitive function completely shut itself down. If one were to look close enough, they would be able to see a hint of red leaking out of nose. Unfortunately or rather... fortunately, there was no one in the vicinity so Northern River's dignity could stay preserved.
"--gasp!!-- Oh no! I must warn the other fellow daoists before it's too late! 😱" Northern River, who suddenly came back to life, quickly operated his phone to send a mass private message to every male cultivators in the chatroom, beside Shuhang of course. Sadly, Northern River's effort was in vain.
All across the world, inside and outside of secret realms, many cultivators were met with a great tragedy that made them question their sexuality. One such example was True Monarch Yellow Mountain.
"An uploaded picture?" asked Yellow Mountain to no one in particular as he took a sip of his tea. The moment he took a look at the uploaded picture however, his eyes were immediately glazed over as if he was in a trance. His cheeks gained a rosy blush while also leaking red liquid from his nostril. Still in a daze, Yellow Mountain's grip on his tea cup became loose and dropped it, hot liquid and all, right onto his lap which suddenly wake him up from his dazed state.
"Ah!? NOOOO!! I'M NORMAL! I LIKE WOMEN!" shouted Yellow Mountain almost hysterically. He then scrambled over to his laptop's 'Photo' collections and went through every single 'fairies' while chanting 'I'm normal, i like women' the whole time as if it were a powerful mantra that could drive off the ultimate evil or something.
Soon, the chat group members were divided between those fortunate enough to have read Northern River's emergency message in time, and those that didn't. One such Wandering Monk Profound Principle who was in 'Silent Meditation' was of the unfortunate side. The effect on him was so powerful that he nearly gave up his asceticism then and there.
Most of the other male cultivators on the hand were all questioning their own sexuality and becoming traumatized by all 'uploaded pictures'. As for the female cultivators, it's safe to say that they had lost nearly 1/3 of the blood in their body at that moment from over active imaginations. Everyone could agree however, to unanimously both hate and love Song Shuhang at the same time for uploading that... 'weapon' without any prior warning.
The picture was downloaded by everybody in the end...
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"Hehe... that should knock most of them out of commission for awhile. That'll teach them to leak out my Tribulation video to outsiders 😈" mumbled out Shuhang with an evil smirk.
"Fellow daoist? 😕" asked White as he was confused as to what just happened.
"Hm? Ah. It was nothing. Just a little pay back against those guys. We should be on our way to the current mortal residence that I'm currently staying at. There is also a junior of the Su Clan's living there as well as fellow daoist Yellow Mountain's pet demon dog, Doudou. I'll answer any questions you may have along the way."
After saying so, Shuhang lifted himself into the air and started to fly back towards his residence in Jiangnan City. Following Shuhang closely from behind is of course Venerable White.
"Aah. Your identity and everything else you may need has already been taken care of by fellow daoist Cave Lord Snow Wolf. We just need to go pick th-" before Shuhang had the chance to finish what he wanted to say however, he was shot back down to the ground by a watermelon sized chunk of rock, most likely a meteorite from space.
This had of course shocked both Shuhang and White as they were both at the minimum a 7th Stage, Spirit Venerable. So how then, did neither of them sense the that meteorite approaching?
"Ugh. What the f-- huh?" looking to complain at the culprit of his sudden embarrassing display, Shuhang had to swallow the words back in his mouth. Due to hitting Shuhang's head, the meteorite had split open in half which inadvertently revealed it's content. What Shuhang saw made him so flabbergasted that he had to recheck at least twice that it indeed was the 'enlightenment stone'.
(What the fuck? Shouldn't treasures only come to me if I needed something? Wait a sec... don't tell me...) thought Shuhang as he looked suspiciously towards Venerable White that was sporting a face of wonder and a faultless expression.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
CrispyNoodle
CrispyNoodle Welp. I went ahead and re-downloaded Fallout 4 on steam along with a crap load of mods. Only about half of them worked =.= Also, chapter is about 4hours late because I couldn't find a save point lel. Blame survival mode :P
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