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interesting strory but a bit late updated ..................................................................................................
Engaging story! I enjoyed picking it up and reading about the world and the magical systems present. The character has a well defined existence and goal. Problems (constructive? I hope it's constructive) - Goals that were presented are already completed - Convoluted chronological order to the story - Poor exposition. The flow is murky at best. - Powers are not based on anything well known - his sword magic doesn't have any rhyme or reason as to what he can do with it. (Sins? Emotions? Blessings? It seems to be random/limitless. Guardian sword ? Vengeance sword? How are those things even in the same vein? Character has the sins, okay cool (envy... Wait that's it? No wrath, lust, sloth, greed, gluttony... Wait there is pride). That makes it confusing, if there are sins, then it makes sense to have the virtues. However there are no swords of virtue. Heck if you made it as swords of sin and shields of virtue. Or aspects. Like... Lust is underwear and chastity is a robe that covers him up? That makes sense. His magic can basically be re-equip magic. His armory based on conceptual framework and will manifest based on that which he uses as a focus. (Sins/virtues/roles/MMORPG classes/desires) I can't see an end if you make it use roles. Sword of the guardian, dagger of the assassin, boots of the thief... See how quickly you can become rediculous? Next comes spectacles of the scholar or the magical condom of the consort! (very different from condom of the NTR-er) I admit, maybe I missed what rule his magic operates on. As of yet I cannot understand it. Sword of pain? Sword of guardian? Sword of pride? Dagger of envy? Sword of retribution? How are those related to eachother? Anyways I felt like the story was interesting, engaging, had many factions, a lot of potential. Moral dilemmas, morality discussions, character growth and a variety of magical abilities. I wanted to outline the details that I felt were not fully thought through/fleshed out. The story rushed though what could have been 4 character arcs within three chapters. (Father being nice, father going crazy, brother being nice, brother being corrupted. - heck the mother/sword trainer would be his constant to help show the MCs development during these periods or been multiple arcs on their own). That could have easily taken 400 chapters! Seriously. During which the MC develops one.. goal? Him learning one new talent, and requires training during each arc. For example Arc 1 - world theory, Arc 2 - magic theory, Arc 3 - combat arts, Arc 4 - we finish with swordplay... Now we notice that the character is fleshed out. He has well documented growth and the readers have emotional investment. Because it was so rushed I didn't even care that his friend died, brother crippled, father became a tyrant and mother a prisoner. Oh and he's a murderer. But I didn't care at all. I didn't know any of the characters. They were just random faceless side characters. (Case and point: I don't think the wife/maid had a name) Anyways fix those things and this story is awesome, because there is a TON of good material here. You just gave too much, too fast. **. I do not mean to bash. I hope that this is taken as me highlighting the flaws in the story and gives a few methods of fixing those flaws. Not me trying to vent about something you put on the site as an original story. (I refrained from one word derogatory comments.. so in theory I think I managed to keep my comments as constructive feedback)
Membuka SPOILER
A good story to sit down and read. Good characters, and semioriginal story. The story needs pacing and grammar needs fixing here and there (my inner grammar natzi is a dick), but if you are waiting on chapter releases on any of your regular books. It’s a good read
The story is preety good Mc can becaome GOD OF WAR But i can't understut some thing's Exl.. his father was a mystereus men in beginig Later he even train with mc I don't get it I read it all and i will keep readeing it because the story has a lot of potential But plese author elaboret more Sory about my crapy eng
Membuka SPOILER
Well first off my many issue with the story is the grammar. Feels like it went through a machine translation from korean to Japanese to english to German and back to english. I tried to push through it since it seemed like a good story in the first few chapters but then it feel through on another problem. There are several time skips and you would never know until q character mentions it but it feels like maybe at most a week went by, by the way the author is describing it. Qnd finally to the main character the author makes it seem like he disdains all young masters and those that force their will on others but then next chapter the mc will look down on everyone and say things like I guess that amount of disrespect is alright. Overall this has nearly killed me trying to read this and dont understand how this became a popular story
Membuka SPOILER
It is a interesting story. The pace is kind of strange but it is a good read where MC takes no BS. The world isn't really well built for now but it is ok, You get an idea of how it is like. Please keep wirting this story author, it is not perfect but is interesting.
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
interesting strory but a bit late updated ..................................................................................................
Engaging story! I enjoyed picking it up and reading about the world and the magical systems present. The character has a well defined existence and goal. Problems (constructive? I hope it's constructive) - Goals that were presented are already completed - Convoluted chronological order to the story - Poor exposition. The flow is murky at best. - Powers are not based on anything well known - his sword magic doesn't have any rhyme or reason as to what he can do with it. (Sins? Emotions? Blessings? It seems to be random/limitless. Guardian sword ? Vengeance sword? How are those things even in the same vein? Character has the sins, okay cool (envy... Wait that's it? No wrath, lust, sloth, greed, gluttony... Wait there is pride). That makes it confusing, if there are sins, then it makes sense to have the virtues. However there are no swords of virtue. Heck if you made it as swords of sin and shields of virtue. Or aspects. Like... Lust is underwear and chastity is a robe that covers him up? That makes sense. His magic can basically be re-equip magic. His armory based on conceptual framework and will manifest based on that which he uses as a focus. (Sins/virtues/roles/MMORPG classes/desires) I can't see an end if you make it use roles. Sword of the guardian, dagger of the assassin, boots of the thief... See how quickly you can become rediculous? Next comes spectacles of the scholar or the magical condom of the consort! (very different from condom of the NTR-er) I admit, maybe I missed what rule his magic operates on. As of yet I cannot understand it. Sword of pain? Sword of guardian? Sword of pride? Dagger of envy? Sword of retribution? How are those related to eachother? Anyways I felt like the story was interesting, engaging, had many factions, a lot of potential. Moral dilemmas, morality discussions, character growth and a variety of magical abilities. I wanted to outline the details that I felt were not fully thought through/fleshed out. The story rushed though what could have been 4 character arcs within three chapters. (Father being nice, father going crazy, brother being nice, brother being corrupted. - heck the mother/sword trainer would be his constant to help show the MCs development during these periods or been multiple arcs on their own). That could have easily taken 400 chapters! Seriously. During which the MC develops one.. goal? Him learning one new talent, and requires training during each arc. For example Arc 1 - world theory, Arc 2 - magic theory, Arc 3 - combat arts, Arc 4 - we finish with swordplay... Now we notice that the character is fleshed out. He has well documented growth and the readers have emotional investment. Because it was so rushed I didn't even care that his friend died, brother crippled, father became a tyrant and mother a prisoner. Oh and he's a murderer. But I didn't care at all. I didn't know any of the characters. They were just random faceless side characters. (Case and point: I don't think the wife/maid had a name) Anyways fix those things and this story is awesome, because there is a TON of good material here. You just gave too much, too fast. **. I do not mean to bash. I hope that this is taken as me highlighting the flaws in the story and gives a few methods of fixing those flaws. Not me trying to vent about something you put on the site as an original story. (I refrained from one word derogatory comments.. so in theory I think I managed to keep my comments as constructive feedback)
Membuka SPOILER A good story to sit down and read. Good characters, and semioriginal story. The story needs pacing and grammar needs fixing here and there (my inner grammar natzi is a dick), but if you are waiting on chapter releases on any of your regular books. It’s a good read
The story is preety good Mc can becaome GOD OF WAR But i can't understut some thing's Exl.. his father was a mystereus men in beginig Later he even train with mc I don't get it I read it all and i will keep readeing it because the story has a lot of potential But plese author elaboret more Sory about my crapy eng
Membuka SPOILER Well first off my many issue with the story is the grammar. Feels like it went through a machine translation from korean to Japanese to english to German and back to english. I tried to push through it since it seemed like a good story in the first few chapters but then it feel through on another problem. There are several time skips and you would never know until q character mentions it but it feels like maybe at most a week went by, by the way the author is describing it. Qnd finally to the main character the author makes it seem like he disdains all young masters and those that force their will on others but then next chapter the mc will look down on everyone and say things like I guess that amount of disrespect is alright. Overall this has nearly killed me trying to read this and dont understand how this became a popular story
Membuka SPOILER It is a interesting story. The pace is kind of strange but it is a good read where MC takes no BS. The world isn't really well built for now but it is ok, You get an idea of how it is like. Please keep wirting this story author, it is not perfect but is interesting.
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.