Bab 60: love and fears part 3
After you hurt someone, you may go through a phase of self-realisation but it doesn't help you to lessen the pain you gave, only confrontation and that's also before it's too late can help you.
But does everyone has that much courage????
I don't think so. because when Amyra recalculated her own behaviour a while ago she found herself guilty.. and can anybody think that she was even feeling guilty while doing it, but our some actions are out of our own control. Some days ago she even visited a psychiatrist due to her own changed behaviour and had a counselling, and only then she found her condition to be called PTSD that is post-traumatic stress disorder. It happens after someone experience some kind of extreme mental shock but couldn't believe it completely. The symptoms include uncontrollable rage that she often feels nowadays... Her brain feels like bursting in pain and she couldn't calm herself down. The second symptom is avoiding human contact. Amyra always locks herself in her room and avoid talking to anyone as much as possible. And the third symptom is a hallucination that she always keeps his father's belonging close to her, just to feel his presence.
The doctor suggested her to be surrounded by people who are dear to her, but she couldn't find any and the one she thought about may never think about her.
With the auction date coming closer, her situation worsened.
In this mess, He came after a long time that seemed like a light year to her. She doesn't know why but her stupid heart made many expectations of him coming much before and seeing him after the time she expected made her a little angry but also gave her the comfort of a sunny day after countless cold freezing days.
When he entered the room and rushed towards her.
-"Hey, what are you doing??? have you gone mad??" He said. According to her, He should have just come and given her a tight hug without saying anything. But he spoke and that made her angry. Can't he see that she is in a mess then why ask??
-"What the hell man??? Why are you here?? Are you trying to enter my personal space forcefully? Or you just came to laugh at my condition?? to see how broken I am.. right???" The lava inside her burst suddenly as she is withdrawn her hand from Varun harshly.
'Are you listening to yourself??' she spoke in mind but her thoughts couldn't stop her actions. she stood up.
-"It's not so. I was just worried that..."
'worried??? Then why give a speech??? Just pull me closer and give me a hug..' her mind spoke oppositely to what she actually said.
-"Why??? are you trying to act like my real husband??.. Just remember one thing that I don't need anything from anybody, especially you... Your worry, your pity or charity nothing is needed... Now just get lost..." She said but one part of her rebelled.
'Then why are you expecting things from him, you lier..'
He didn't speak or move from the place he was standing in holding a dumb expression in his pale face, that made Amyra more enraged.
' can't he say that it's not charity... I just love you...oh god you are still expecting!!.. you fool..' she rebuked herself.
She then held his hand and walked towards the door in rush, and then pushed him out like an unwanted object.
Varun didn't resist a little bit...
'he should have resisted..' she thought after closing the door.
'please don't go..' her heart said.
'what I did right now??? I waited for him to come but when he did I just acted awkwardly. I should apologize.' she thought and one part of her assured her that he is nearby and will come back in a while.
After a little while she heard a knock on her door and her heart got filled with happiness.. she rushed towards the door and opened it with a wide smile on her face. But it turned to be Amit standing on her door and her broad smile vanished..she tried to make up her despair drawing another smile.
-"Hey what's up?" she asked.
-" I am alright. I heard you were unwell but I think I heard it wrong.." said Amit smiling back at her.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone