Bab 28: Page 4. Everyone An Actor.
Chu Yana hugged Xi Yang. Her heart was fully mourning, She also wanted to feel a bit of a burden of Xi Yang suffered. Even though She has betrayed that man, her heart is for that man but her lust for Yang Jie. She will love him until She dies.
That's the love She has, they call it possessiveness. When the love that is owned is complete love, the whole is to have the soul and body of the person she loves. Even though Chu Yana knew She had done something that would not be forgiven, She wanted to hide it. She did not know how long it would know her sins to the man she loved the most. But, She wanted to stand in Xi Yang side, keep holding XI Yang's hand, even to the last breath.
"Why ...? Why don't you tell me..? Why don't tell me, Uncle has died..? Why do you bear your own sadness ...? Am I not your Girlfriend?"
XI Yang show smiled wryly. He doesn't want to see this woman anymore.
He hated it, this woman had attention even after She pretended not to commit a sin on him.
An affair.
But hatred and revenge have eaten Xi Yang. He would continue to pretend he knew nothing, pretended to feel nothing and pretended that there was no such great hatred for this girl because he wanted to cover the hole made by them. The Betrayal and Falsehood they created. The hole is not covered even if Xi Yang commits suicide. The hole is created of the possessive sense of love he has, the woman he loves is only his own. He does not accept others receiving love or even the lust possessed by the girl he loves.
He hated to admit about it, all kinds of feelings were misleading logic in his mind. Makes it impossible to think he will become a devil. Making a painful scheme for the person he loves. The scheme he thought would cure the hole.
-Yeah ... That's right, I will forever pretend not to harbor anger, hatred, and all my revenge on you I will continue to hide it. I thought if you were honest and claimed to have had an affair with Yang Jie I thought I would forgive you; I think we will start from the beginning if the love I have diminishes I will learn to love you again, learn to forgive you. But why are you still wearing the mask? Why are you still showing that expression? That's falsehood ... I can't accept the falsehood you showed me, I hate it ... I really hate it. Do you wear that mask until I am crazy about the pretense you have? Are you waiting for me to say "Bitch I caught you having an affair with that bastard Yang Jie!"
-Is it no longer the original thing we have? We have gone through many years, months and days. Then, why are you pretending? Are you an actor?
Xi Yang can't say about it.
He still harbored everything he felt, all his grudges, anger, jealousy and honesty.
He will pretend until Chu Yana releases the mask that hides all forms of betrayal She does.
However, I saw that it was a little painful that humans were really so selfish. They are selfish in placing all kinds of feelings they have, even when Adam was asked by God for the sin I was referring to Eve, Adam finally blamed Eve, saying that the woman God had placed on his side was the one who persuaded him to eat Good and Bad Knowledge Fruit.
Adam's form of denial is a mask of Adam, he wears a Beautiful mask; the mask is a mask of a saint on the church altar. Sinless Mask. Rotten humans, they are selfish; they are greedy, and HE asks me to submit and not be jealous of the privileges they get? Is God crazy? Why don't I dominate all beings on this earth? Why am I not responsible for heaven, land, and air? Why are creatures like humans who have received such blessings? Why should I be cast out of Heaven, labeled a Devil when I am an angel faithful to Him?
Do I need to mislead the entire world? Proving to HIM that the creature HE loved most was the most disgusting, dirtiest and most despicable creature. I love and respect for HIM as my father and creator, but why does He lull me? Make me have to mislead many people ... Make people sell their faith ... Make them feel hell on earth. It's not fun ... It hurts, I have to look at all kinds of tragedies I have created, all kinds of sad stories, all kinds of things that really make me cry ... But, I am an angel branded as a fallen angel and they equate me as a devil -His disgraceful? That makes me unable to shed tears ... even a tear of it can't shed it.
The eternity I had tormented me, I felt sick watching all kinds of tragedies I created, all these things made me fear the drama I created. Did my love for Him is frightening and painful for me?
"I'm sorry, honey ... I haven't thought for a few months ... Well ... You know, on my new campus there are too many tasks that become a burden. So, I didn't have time to tell you. Sorry...."
"Don't ... Don't lie, you are so bad at lying ... Tell me the truth, express what you feel. About Your heart, I want to know what you feel now ..."
Chu Yana knew Xi Yang covered everything to her, but she did not know about everything he covered was a feeling of hatred and disappointment he had.
-You even knew I'm lying and ask me to be honest with you. Then, Can I see that in you too? I hate that pretense.
Chu Yana cannot see and hear the heart that Xi Yang has, if there is such a thing in this world then all jealousy, anger, and revenge will disappear from this world. It will be a story of the world does not have sad stories like the story of Romeo And Juliet, The Story and Screams of Anastasia Romanov, the Story of Love Napoleon Bonaparte, the Story of Beethoven's Romance, and the many sad stories I have witnessed so far. The world will not have the first murder that Cain committed against Abel and other murders such as the Crazy War carried out by Adolf Hitler, the Korean War that separates one family, there will be no such a thing if all humans are honest with all the feelings they have.
Xi's eyes flushed slowly. Tears slowly flowed from the place. However, he did not know at all, Are the tears hurt because by the betrayal he felt? Or pain for Dad's death? He could not distinguish the two things at all. In fact, it confused him about the pain he had. Humans cannot see their hearts at all.
Chu Yana hugged him, she rubbed Xi Yang's head. While Xi Yang shed tears without a sound, he did not know it aimed whether the tears at the betrayal or misfortune he experienced. However, he still cried. Even though, Li Yuan's arms made him feel honest about everything he felt. But, Chu Yana, he saw a lot of falsehood in at all. So, he gives another falsehood in his possession too.
Everyone becomes an actor in their lives, they play drama. Sometimes the drama is a drama about a criminal, sometimes the drama is about a knight, they use the drama so that other people do not know the evil they have so that people do not see all the sins they have committed. Because the heart is a special thing that God created for them, it is so secret and no one can look into that place. They can only read all kinds of things they see from expressions and other people's eyes. However, they cannot fully understand the contents of what they call hearts.
***
Then, the boy blushed his eyes. He seemed to hold back tears. He doesn't understand what adults think at all. He doesn't understand why adults have to pretend? He didn't know because he hadn't seen this world completely. He only saw this world from the fairy tales that his mother read to them, whether it was the story of Princess Snow, Cinderella, Mermaid, Aladin, Mulan and many other stories that were happy and happy. However, the story read by the man is new for him. However, he was curious about the contents of the story. So, he will continue to hear and observe the story in his dream.
"Do you want to cry, boy?"
"No ... I don't want to cry ... Who is the one who is crying?"
The man just chuckled. Then, look at a book on the boy's study table. Then he took the book.
"Snow White and Seven Dwarfs ... Do you like this story too?"
The boy nodded.
"Yes. I like this story. My mother usually reads it to us before we sleep ..."
The man nodded.
"This is a beautiful story you've ever created ... I thought I wouldn't want a story that would make you cry ..."
The boy was shaking his head then he with eyes sure looked at him.
"I don't mind ... I want to know everything. I want to know what people really think, I want to know what people feel ... My sister won't cry if I do something wrong with her. So, I can apologize if my actions are outrageous, so she will still like me. "
The man smiled weirdly.
"Sis con?"
The boy just tilted his head. He did not understand the meaning of the words.
"Hahaha ... Forget about my words, you might realize that after you grow up ... Have you not made reconciled with your younger sister?"
The boy nodded.
"We have reconciled ... but, She still keeps her distance from me ... She even hid a box of cereal we kept a secret to Mother, even though we had promised to eat it together if Mother went to work later ..."
It confuses the man.
"So ... You want to be forgiven for the box of cereal you promised to eat together or because you really love your younger sister?"
"Maybe this is more to the cereal box we hide. * Tehee"
The boy said while tapping his own head like a scene in the story of animes and mangas.
[This kid is too innocent]
"Okay ... I'll read it to you ..."
***
Author Note.
Well, for those of you who are curious why I did not show the use of the system until now is because the system I will put on the end of the story. Xi Yang used the Restart system to take revenge on Chu Yana. I did not waste part of what I created. So, don't immediately accuse me of being an idiot. Because in the flow of the novel there is also a storyline that goes backward.
You can find a few small scenes at the beginning of the story that's basically a clue how I will build and unify all the chapters and pages I place.
I have asked my brother to double-check so that there is no change in meaning there. However, he was a little busy at work in the real world. He only asked me for an original copy of the manuscript in my native language. Then use the translator machine and check if there is a change in meaning. I'm still struggling here to complete the value of the field practice exam. So, my brother and I communicated before via cellular, internet networks might not exist. However, for the cellphone, it's pretty good.
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