Bab 81: Greatest Fear
"Asrael! Some of your peers from school are throwing a party, don't go to it!" Arius exclaimed as soon as the front door was opened to reveal the teenager. To think that even Arius would know about it!
Asrael narrowed his eyes incredulously and asked, "Why?"
"A group of people are looking to cause trouble. The Bunny Bunch and them have already been at odds. I'm hoping not to have any more altercations before figuring out how to deal with them." Arius walked over.
"Idiot." Asrael didn't know how much knowledge Arius actually had about the Death Vendors, but he could guess that he had no clue that another eternal existed there.
"Asrael, even if he is an idiot, you shouldn't say it like that." Eirik interjected.
Arius felt his pride take a hit. 'Idiot? And why was he an idiot?' He couldn't help thinking back on what he said for some answers.
Asrael sighed, "Whatever, I won't go to the party then, okay?
Arius had some suspicions growing in his heart. It wasn't that he didn't trust Asrael, but he simply knew him well enough to detect a lie!
He really needed to correct Asrael's behavior, yet he hadn't done it and didn't even know how!
"If that's all, I'm leaving." Asrael headed for his room, and Arius didn't keep him anymore.
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He raised his cellphone to his ear, and on the other end was her soft voice. It wasn't much different than usual, as long as one didn't account for the slightly nervous 'uh's in her words.
"Have you heard about the party on Saturday?"
"It seems to be the only thing anyone talks about." Asrael replied.
"Oh, uh, well, are you going?"
"Why? Do you want to go with me?" Asrael slight tease could be heard in his tone.
"I just wanted to know..." Chrysa's soft voice became even quieter.
"I'll be there, don't worry."
"Okay! Uh, I actually have something to..." Chrysa spoke in segments. "Talk to you about there."
"Then I'll look forward to it." Asrael smirked.
"Uhm! Yea, I have to go now. I'll see you around..."
"Bye, Chrysanthemum." Asrael eyes held a sort of light that he hadn't noticed himself. As he was about to hang up...
"Wait! One more thing."
"Go ahead."
"Be safe...! Because, well... you know what happened to Ryland, right?" Chrysa's tone became a notch louder. "So, it wouldn't hurt to be more careful. It hurt enough to lose him, so I don't want..." She stopped, unable to continue.
"Mhm." Asrael hummed a reply. In some way, he felt himself hurting deep within. The pain was something he'd gotten used to, as his misdeeds piled up, only, it was more noticeable this time.
"Okay... bye." And the call disconnected.
He slumped onto the bed that was positioned at the center of wall, with his face down. He groaned. It was painful, but not agonizing.
How could this happen? She was just like all the rest. She wasn't like Arius, Durante, Hazuna, or Eirik. She was a mortal.
What changed? How was it different? Had those people made him soft? What if he couldn't go through with it? He had the nagging feeling that he wouldn't be able to see her at her lowest.
If he was truly in love, if he decided not to ever hurt her, what then? Would he spend the best time of his life waiting for her to die?
Asrael knew that he, himself, was weak. If ever he decided to love a mortal, he wouldn't be able to get over their death. It would plague him for eternity, just like his mother.
What he saw that night. When Eirik had laid his palm on his shoulder, it would forever change things.
It was so very vivid. The memory built agitation in his heart.
Looking down at his own bloody hands, and then up, and to see his mother smiling so lovingly at him.
He heard her voice, 'Have you been a good big brother?'
No.
'Are you happy?'
No.
'Have you made sure Durante is well?'
No...
The next words she had spoken felt like large amounts of hail raining on a raging inferno.
'Why would you do this to him?!'
She grabbed his red covered hands and everything changed. Looking down again, and seeing the body of a young boy.
'It's your fault!'
No...
'It's your fault!'
No...!
No!
Asrael felt his breath hitch. How weird it was. He loved his mother so much, and yet his greatest fear was her coming back from the dead, only to see what he had done.
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