Bab 69: Cruel to yourself
It was dark, and the two teens didn't bump into anyone while they dashed away from the convenience store. After they created some distance, Michael allowed the girl to stop and catch her breath.
"We need to clean up," he pointed at a nearby diner. "Let's go inside, you order something, and I'll sneak into the bathroom."
"Can't we just go home?"
Michael took off his coat with traces of blood on it. The shirt he wore under it wasn't thick, but the ability Smiling Calmly in Hot and Cold, Sun and Rain protected him from the cool April air.
"No. We need to have a talk."
Anna nodded, revealing a gloomy expression. She knew her actions had made her friend unhappy but stood by her reasoning.
They went into the diner. Anna with Richard in her arms asked for some warm food and drinks. She had been thirsty before the incident and now felt parched after her life had been in danger for the first time.
Michael darted into the bathroom when nobody was looking. He had to break the handle because he didn't have a key.
There was some leftover blood on his left jaw, and more had dried on his hands. After a quick wash, Michael wiped the handles on the bags he carried. It wasn't perfect, and he would likely be connected to the crime several days later, but not today. He needed to look normal enough to chat with Anna, there was still time to undo their mistake.
When Michael plopped down next to the girl, she was holding a warm cup of tea with both hands to hide their trembling. The adrenaline was wearing off, and the girl was realizing how close to death she had been minutes ago.
"I know this is not the best time to have this talk, but I want to know where we stand."
Anna turned to her friend, confused by his words.
"Does our friendship mean so little to you that you would break it off so easily? Why did you threaten me with that?"
"How could you think so?! Don't you know that I… You're the most important person to me! But the whole thing was my fault, and I didn't want to…" she rambled.
"What do you mean, your fault? That's ridiculous. It was his fault, he had a gun."
The girl shook her head, "If I hadn't made a noise, we could've stayed behind the shelves. No one would've gotten hurt. And then, if you killed him, it would be my fault, too. His death would be on your conscience forever."
"Anna!" he caught her arm and forced her to look him in the eyes, "You did nothing wrong! The robber had a silencer, he was prepared to kill the clerk. Your gasp made me intervene, which saved his life. He can go home to his family because of you."
The teenagers shared a long look full of emotion. Anna needed reassurance and support, and she needed rest even more. But Michael couldn't let her relax because the evening wasn't over.
"You mentioned killing the robber was a sin. Do you believe that?"
"I-I do. Thou shalt not kill. Our Russian Orthodox Church doesn't place as great an emphasis on the commandments, but I've read a Bible in English here. Look, Misha," it was her turn to take his hand into hers. She had never called him by his birth name before, but they had never felt more intimate either, "That doesn't matter. I said what I did to stop you from carrying the burden of killing that man. I didn't mean it. Whatever you do, whatever you become, I will always accept you."
Michael's chin quivered. The love and care in Anna's words were more than he'd felt in the last ten years. How could she love him so deeply when all he did was push her away?
He stayed silent, hoping she would break the physical contact first, but she didn't.
"You don't see the full picture," he sighed, squeezing her hand. "Imagine a world where millions of people awaken superpowers like yours or his. Imagine the crimes, the violence, the lawlessness. A new reason for racism and nationalism to thrive. Governments may fall, and the strong will grab power. Morality and religion – they will be weaknesses."
Anna looked startled like a deer in the headlights. She lost the bits of confidence she'd recovered and ate up every word that came from her friend's mouth.
"This is the worst possible outcome, of course. You know I like imagining those," he joked. "Right now, our powers are weak and still growing. There's no telling how strong we evolvers will become. If this is our limit, I'm worrying too much. But if Hulks and Supermen appear…" he shook his head, "Survival will become routine."
For ten years, Michael had been living the life Leon forced him into. He had no say over anything. He was being watched, allowed to stay in his apartment and go to the closest supermarket. Now that fate gave him another chance, his only ambition was to be in control of his life, to never ask permission from anyone.
All his freaking out and breakdowns were because he feared uncertainty. It loomed over him like a malignant ghost, chills running down his spine. But the world was changing – and he had to step up.
"But they don't know who we are, right? They can't identify you by your blood."
Michael laughed. It felt good to have someone worry about him.
"It's all right. Chances are, they'll find me in a few days. The clerk, the criminal, the passers-by – so many people could've seen my face. I am a popular YouTuber, a public figure, you know?"
"So you're in trouble?"
"Stop it." He tugged on her ponytail. "I'm innocent. I defended myself and broke no laws. They have no proof I have superpowers. Just an innocent witness."
Anna frowned in thought. Whatever she wondered about, Michael let her take a few minutes to herself. He sipped his tea and finished a burger when she asked him, "Groom me then."
"Sorry?"
"If what you're telling me is true, our peaceful life may end any day. I will have to protect myself and my mom too. Two things I can rely on are EIS and you," she blushed. "I'm asking you to teach me."
"What makes you think I…"
"Don't. I can see that your story isn't all true. Be it your mysterious wounds, inexplicable Tai Chi mastery or knowledge from nowhere, I know you're keeping secrets from me."
"Anna…"
"Let me finish. You're different from most guys our age, the way you think is peculiar, and your maturity is like night and day compared to others. I know that, and I don't care. Keeping secrets is fine. Just don't let them come between us. Promise?"
Michael swallowed. Fine. Since this girl trusted him so much, he wouldn't be able to look himself in the mirror if he refused her now.
"I promise."
"Ding!"
He checked, but it was an empty sound. Glory denied making any announcements. Did he mishear it?
The teenagers sat in silence. Half an hour passed since they ran away from the crime scene, and Michael wanted to finish what he started.
"You want me to teach you?"
Anna's eyes widened. She'd hoped he would give her a day to prepare.
"First lesson. Showing mercy to your enemies means being cruel to yourself. Do you understand what it means?"
"It sounds like those things auntie Wu says," the girl smiled.
"If you forgive someone, make sure they no longer present a threat. Here's something you've missed. That robber can vibrate parts of his body. How will he fare against uninformed policemen?"
"Ah…"
"He will decimate them, escape and then leave a trail of bodies. And those, as you said, will be on your conscience. I chose to end his life because I don't mind shouldering that responsibility. Killing one to save a thousand, the eternal dilemma of the ends justifying the means."
"I didn't think of it like that," Anna whispered, dejected.
"It was a decision I made. And I chose to follow your plea, so don't blame yourself. I knew the risks. Now," he stood up, "we have to go back and protect the people from him."
"Isn't it too late?" she jumped to follow her friend.
Michael grinned, "After I knocked him out with my full strength? You think too little of me!"
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
BlackInk
BlackInk 1 DAY OFF
I've gotten a lot of flames for the previous chapter. That's fine, but please mind that I'm trying to depict realistic characters. Religious idealistic Anna cannot be OK with murder. At least, the way I see it.
And please, refrain from mysoginistic and derogatory comments. I think it's fantastic that you care enough to tell me what you think, but it's no reason to curse at Anna because she's a girl.
If you want to curse at someone, let it be me. This daoist will shoulder the blame...
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone