While only two chapters long so far, the premise is super interesting and very intriguing. An older brother trying to protect his younger sister in a cruel, merciless world. We also get some background on the male mc that brings depth to the character and the world. If there is some advice I could give you is the same I received myself when I started, keep it past tense. You swap between past and present, but keeping it past tense will improve the readers experience and you'll see your writing style improve in an instant. Keep up the good work author, your story has a very interesting start with a lot of potential.
Thank you for detailed analysis, I appreciate it a lot!
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At he least he can he say he's special forces now if somebody asks.
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But who could take on such a monster?
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Weird castles growing inside the Deadlands...
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Another slip from me, thanks for the correction.
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He definitely seems to be up to something.
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Excellent introduction to the world, characters and its concepts from the very beginning. Every chapter is well paced and doesn't waste in taking your attention with how well written. Would definitely recommend to anyone looking for a good fantasy medieval story.
It's honestly a good start. I didn't really feel like it was slow paced or confusing.
Always enjoy action pack stories and this episode was full of it. The scenes were pretty descriptive and easy to follow, also having the villain defeat the hero in combat makes for a great build up for future fights between these two. Even if he was stopped by the special forces officers, I'd say razorblade still came out on top in that exchange.
Shadows of Destiny
Action · SlIIP