Wow! He is sooooo brilliant!
nice flashback to a great movie! That book is good, too!
The waiting teams at the entrance then orderly descended, groups converging at the bottom of the cave and led by their captains, moved forward to explore, and one by one, torches were lit...
Sage of Humanity
Eastern · Momo
Correction: "We will talk back in our room. So, just hurry up." There are a few more paragraphs in this chapter and others that need polishing as well. Good luck...
"I will talk in the room, so just be quick and reach the room early." He said and exited the kitchen.
The Luna’s Unwanted Marriage
Fantasy · Paz9091
Correction: "Nope. I don't mind. It's obvious that she is just jealous because I am your mate. But I am your luna now, so we won't have to worry about her petty feelings, as whatever you did with her is in the past. She'll figure that out for herself soon enough." This is just an example of how one could rewrite this paragraph. Good luck.
"Just don't mind her words, she is just insane." He said assuring me. "No, i don't mind and I can feel her,she is just bit jealous of me because I am your mate.
The Luna’s Unwanted Marriage
Fantasy · Paz9091
Correction: Alpha looked at me warmly. "Don't mind her words. She is just insane," he said reassuringly.
"Just don't mind her words, she is just insane." He said assuring me. "No, i don't mind and I can feel her,she is just bit jealous of me because I am your mate.
The Luna’s Unwanted Marriage
Fantasy · Paz9091
Correction: "She left angrily."
She went from there angrily and Alpha looked at me warmly.
The Luna’s Unwanted Marriage
Fantasy · Paz9091
Correction: "...standing at the entrance", not "on the entrance".
Alpha Luciano was standing on the entrance of the door. He glanced at us with a slight confusion. He approached us and stood in front of us facing both of us.
The Luna’s Unwanted Marriage
Fantasy · Paz9091
Correction: "Oh, I see. You must be a lover from his past. Well, I am his luna now, and I don't care what he did with whatever random woman of his past."
"Ohh! Really? I see the old days. I don't mind if he slept with you or some other woman." I snapped back. "It was his past and I don't mind if has slept with some random woman." I grinned.
The Luna’s Unwanted Marriage
Fantasy · Paz9091
Correction: "Here you are!" would be better.
"So you are here!" I heard a deep voice and we both looked to see.
The Luna’s Unwanted Marriage
Fantasy · Paz9091
Are we going to find out why she beats him up?
Sage of Humanity
Eastern · Momo