AshW0If

AshW0If

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2021-02-23 Joint Global
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AshW0If
AshW0If
10 days ago
Commented

img

The trio had remained silent looking at me, I had told them everything, it was something I had been thinking about for a while, so I didn't hold anything back, about my fusion with Serena's memories, everything about The Company and all my powers, it wasn't a really long talk, but it was confusing.

Serena Snape: Love of Magic

Serena Snape: Love of Magic

Anime & Comics · Camellya_Addams

AshW0If
AshW0If
3 months ago
Posted

It's one of the best Naruto fan fic's. The ending was a little bland, but the story more then makes up for it, The phrase that best describes this book is 'heh your plan ? No, there is no. Your plan. There is only my plan. You might think you have a plan, but that is still part of my plan'

AshW0If
AshW0If
AshW0If
4 months ago
Replied to Azure_Abyss

Don't worry, you are doing great. I am just pointing out something I saw that will make the book a tinny bit better ( in my opinion), and I'm just saying there is no need to rush the story development. Take your time and develop the MC relationships (like with her little sister) anyho, I'm eagerly waiting for the next chapter. You are doing great (Love the book )

AshW0If
AshW0If
4 months ago
Posted

The book is pretty good. All things considered, the only two problems I have with the book are 1 not defined emotional example' it is always daphne said or she said' The book never gives clear emotions this make the characters fell less alive and more like dolls this can be easily solved if the author just used more expressive writing example 'She asked with a playful smirk'. Two, the mc doesn't change the story in any meaningful way, making it seem that the character is just a self insert going through Harry Potter but it does offer its own insight and good world building so it does kinda make up for it another thing about this book is the pacing, the book is just from main story point to main story point no slice of life or side arc and I think that the book can benefit with a little side arc that makes the connections that the mc has more human because spoiler alert the death of Vivien did not hit hard because for us it was just a few interactions so we did not bond with the character but for the mc it was months hence the book would have benefited greatly by dveling more into that relationship before her death with a mini arc. The author sometimes forgets about characters. Hence, they have not been seen for a long time even tho they are hella interesting. chough Ginny chough But on a more positive note, the Romance with Tracy (suffering by the same development problem as above ) is pretty good. The only 2 instances in the book where they were romantic was very well done, so hats of to that. Writing 4/5 Story 5/5 Character Design 5/5 Character Development 3/5 Update Stability 5/5 World Background 6/5 ( The author adds their own twists and makes the world better, so 6 )

AshW0If
AshW0If
6 months ago
Posted

Just a few words, Mc brain dead, story Trash, Chapter 36 Mc lets a protagonist know that the world is a novel ,Chapter 37 Mc let's a protagonist know he is not the original owner of the body, Author doesn't know how the police work, Author doesn't know how the hospital works and how doctors can easily tell what kind of a wound the patient has, did I mention Brain dead Mc oh yeah I did but I am writing it another time so that it can be well known that THE MC IS BRAIN DEAD!, Plot points make no sense,The Mc is not a villain they are a antagonist hence you are being lied too. Most male protagonists are just copies of each other. All are horny like dogs and look at any girl with lust and say this girl will be in my harem. This is not how real people think. conclusion Mc:0 Plot:0 Wolrd:2 Writing:1 don't read it just a waste of time

AshW0If
AshW0If
7 months ago
Posted

I Kinda have a love-hate relationship with this novel. On the one hand, the word building is great, writing quality above average for this app, and some characters are amazingly written, while on the other hand, the author put so many twists into the story that it is mind boggling I mean [Spolier]- The dude that kills the Mc's family is first reincarnated as Edward kills everybody then he somehow travels in time with op abilities and kills best girl ( not really kills her but still ) there was no foreshadowing or anything just this is the plot now and another thing that I just can't really take in is the fact that he knows that the system master is manipulating him, watching him and altering his memories yet he does nothing about it just says thank you like wtf !. Writing 9/10 Story Development 3/10 ( To many things happen with no foreshadowing, and no warning just fells forced [ to me]) Character Design 7/10 ( Some characters are great and have amazing development while others are just forgotten and altered [Take The Half elf as the example, for 70 chapters, nothing on her yet out of the blue and for no good reason (except a kiss) she says she is another reincarnate and she was violated in her world so she is NOW JOINING ANTY-EDIN like wtf why butcher a character] Update stability 1/10 ( No comment) World Backround 10/10.

AshW0If
AshW0If
AshW0If
9 months ago
Posted

After nearly 400 chapters, I am finally leaving a review, and the only thing i can say is that it's amazing. This fanfic is the only book on this app that I actually waited for the new chapter releases and enjoyed the jokes from the translator he really did some work on this fic I have read some of the original and i can confidently say that it doesn't have the charm of this book. GOOD JOB, Bleam, and keep it up.

AshW0If
AshW0If
11 months ago
Posted

(Stoped reading after chapter 60) The book is boring, the author tries to make the Mc super edgy, the type that is like 'I am too lazy to deal with this because I lost someone I love' The Auther tries to add drama and dramatic reveals but he fails horribly it just becomes boring best example (spoiler) The mc learns that his sister the one he was being a edge lord about was there with him but without her memories, then his system tries to kill him because she was jealous and then it is revealed that mc has people living in his head, (This happens in the span of a chapter) Then there is the grammar, well let's just say thet it can be seen that the author is not a native english speaker and those mistakes kill my motivation to continue with the story.The author is Indian so the story has a lot of references to indian culture and religion. This does not bother me, but I would like to note it.Summery: The Mc is a depressed 'boo hoo'. I lost someone, and I know it was not my fault, but I still blame myself, and now i am haunted by her ghost and hear her voice in my head. [Highy unlikeable]The plot is all over the place.[It makes it seem that the author had no vision for the story, so he just wrote randomly]Random Drama that serves no purpose.[ Full of loop holes]Random Lore Drops [some chapters are some lore] ( I paid real money for a chapter, and it was just unimportant lore)2/5 Would not recommend the only reason it is not a 1 is because the world building is mildy interesting and the writing is not 'Young Master Chen: Courting Death' Terrible.

  • Just This 0nce original

    Just This 0nce

    Fantasy ACTION ROMANCE ADVENTURE SYSTEM COMEDY WEAKTOSTRONG DARK SLICEOFLIFE EVOLUTION YURI

    In an extraordinary twist of fate, May and her entire class find themselves transported to a distant realm on the brink of catastrophic war. Each student is entrusted with a mission: to prevent an imminent global conflict that threatens to engulf this foreign world. As they arrive, they are scattered to various embassies, each representing a different race in this complex and enigmatic society. May, however, finds herself alone in an ominous, sprawling dark forest. The dense canopy casts eerie shadows, and the forest conceals ancient secrets that may hold the key to both her survival and the world's salvation. In this hostile and untamed wilderness, May must summon all her courage, resourcefulness, and resilience. She grapples not only with the challenges of a perilous environment but also with the knowledge that her actions may influence the outcome of a war that could shape the destiny of an entire world. "Just This 0nce" is an epic tale of a young woman's journey into the heart of darkness, where she discovers her own strength and uncovers the hidden forces at play in a world on the brink of chaos. May's fight for survival becomes a beacon of hope in a world desperately seeking peace. —————————————————————— Before you start reading this know I am leaving the first couple of chapters unedited as they show how far I came as a author Upload is 5 times a week English is not my first language, so if there are any mistakes, please comment, and I will fix them and I am writing this on my phone as I can't afford a PC That is all so enjoy.

    70 Chs 279 Collections