sedrie - Profile

Glad you managed to find a way for things to work out. During the writing process plot naturally diverges when doing extremely long form storytelling like this so it's unsurprising that you'd encounter things not aligning with previous plans. Thanks for the chapter

I think you did a solid job on the interactions so far as well as for this chapter. TFTC

She's presenting the situation like the ogres will have to just go wondering in search of new lands when half the point is that she can offer them protection and shelter. She doesn't have to tell them that the real plan is to make them subordinates either since the evacuation would have totally tactical purposes like it being easier to protect one fortified location plus getting assistance from the hob, wolves and world's strongest slime. She could even offer the ogres to resettle the land after the fighting is done since without the non-combatants being present there's no reason for the orc forces to waste time and energy destroying the place thus leaving it mostly intact. (not that they'd realistically want to go back after finding out about mc's strength and settlement, but they don't know that yet).

He dedicates the entire multi-year time skip to training under Orochimaru, and it's not like the cursed mark keeps getting upgraded/improved so he essentially had most if not everything he could (foreseeably) have gained from Orochimaru once he got out of the barrel-thing (before he committed to leaving). Another thing is that the sharingan can copy both ninjutsu and taijutsu (only the moves) instantly yet he neither pesters Kakashi into showing his '1000 jutsu' and only copied 1 attack from Lee, nevermind Neji who's also stronger than him. If he just wanted the curse mark then he could have simply taken the one he got for free, if it was about the fastest route to power than he could have copied Kakashi at any time, while the physical strength behind taijutsu requires long-term dedication the moves themselves can be copied instantly simply requiring exercise to build strength plus Sasuke was going to spend years training either way.

In the original, both of the other Sanin were in Konoha and it was well known that Naruto had managed to catch up with Sasuke by training under one. Lee, who trained under Guy, was still stronger than him in taijutsu. Not to mention that for all he knows Kakashi was ganged up on by the Akasuki and otherwise would have won a 1v1 battle. My point is that the reasoning for leaving the village was always faulty since there's still a lot of things he could do to get far stronger without going anywhere.

The complaints about chapter length hold no weight here since not only is the current average length plenty but there's also consistent and frequent uploads.

Important gun advice you forgot to add, aim using your sights (or scope if applicable). The rest is on point though which is refreshing.

The entire first paragraph of this chapter is an unbroken series of run-on sentences. Please learn where to put a period as punctuation doesn't just magically become perfect if you place a bunch of commas. Roughly half of those sentences were questions as well yet there's not a single question mark to be seen.

I'm curious how Fujin will go about recruiting Karin later.

I like the idea of Miwa's character for what she represents, just like Kusakabe no fancy bs just sheer skill. Despite being a grade 1 he landed multiple hits on The king of Frauds and if he had a better weapon like the soul split katana or heaven piercing spear then he could have solo'd the strongest too. Same goes for Miwa but Gaygay had to nerf her smh.

It's actually hilarious that Miwa is genuinely a bad match for Uro since sky manipulation is only good for charged attacks which Miwa, like Kusakabe, is specialized against. She could really hold off Uro singlehandedly with little difficulty. Now that I think about it, Miwa could also force Ryo to use his stronger moves too since only scatter shot variants of granite shot have any real chance of reaching her. Miwa op fr fr. Thanks for the chapter

I think you've been doing a great job with this story, no plot holes, no deus ex machinas, no characters suddenly acting like idiots to further the plot. There seems to be literally no flaws in your story's narrative so far and it can't be overstated how much of an achievement that is, especially since you're over 50 chapters in. There are million dollar franchises that failed to do that. As a suggestion for a new story using the overpowering intellectual protagonist archetype, Warhammer 40k would be a great fit since anyone that isn't incredibly strong can be killed like a bug and the super geniuses are merely on an even playing field with the leaders of any other given faction.

Since infinity wasn't active towards the end of the fight then that would mean that their was nothing preventing Records of Tenjin from collecting data on the activity of the 6 eyes. With this Shuichi's ce manipulation should skyrocket once again. Thanks for the chapter

I see, the choice of affinity becomes more clear once Sakura's abilities are included. I also think that it's a good idea for her to learn genjutsu as well, fixing the missed opportunity of the original story. I hadn't considered the lack of utility that the expansion jutsu's would offer for Fujin's alter egos. Your idea of Naruto learning it instead later in the story is very clever. It's clear you put a great deal of thought into this. Well done.

Thanks for the chapter

Thanks for the chapter

I don't think it would be a good idea for Fujin to try learning specifically the hair related jutsu. Fujin's hair is short so he'd have to first grow it out for the jutsu's to be effective to begin with, then there's the problem of fitting such jutsus into his fighting style. That also doesn't address that those jutsus have rather low offensive power in comparison to the rest of Fujin's arsenal and doesn't significantly improve his defensive options either. The amount of time spent preparing for, learning, then mastering that set of jutsu doesn't seem worth it when Fujin could be pursuing stronger jutsu. There's also the alternative option of learning the jutsus of Choji's clan which are also yang-release (to my knowledge) and better fit into Fujin's arsenal since he does use hand-to-hand combat sometimes. I agree with your choices for Naruto's growth though. With how few his abilities were in the original series and his current lack of a distinct style here it makes much more sense for him to thoroughly incorporate more of Jiraiya's jutsus and learning more from Kakashi. I have a question though, why did you choose to give him earth release jutsus over, for example, water release? I don't see this choice of element particularly helping Naruto in the future against his opponents so I'm curious why you decided on it.

I think a good idea for a later item is one that allows Ariel to occasionally ignore the effects of an ability that he's been placed under. This would be a reflection of how some of Mahoraga's adaptations would nullify the ability of his opponent outright rather than give a resistance or counter/bypass of the attack. For example when he became immune to Unlimited Void. Obviously such an ability being active constantly would be too op so I'd suggest giving it a cool-down timer but using a fixed probably or having it only activate against a certain subgroup of abilities could work too, whatever you think would work best for the story. Thanks for the chapter

The naming sense is very good and incorporating symbolism into them was a great choice. I appreciate you taking the time to explain the origins at the end since otherwise it would go over my (and presumably much of the audience) head. Thanks for the chapter

Thanks for the chapter