I believe you meant to say acolyte instead of Athlete here
"Sounds appropriate. It will be a bit more relaxed to talk amongst other athletes at the start. Am I very late?" Murphy asked, as he had been rather slow today.
Book&Literature · SenseiCaffeine
+1 it also kinda feels like he's repeating the same information
therer's a typo in the chapter where scratching was used instead of what I think is scrying
It was a form of information-based division, just like the scratching spell in the ancient language.
Book&Literature · SenseiCaffeine
I mean scratching
It was a form of information-based division, just like the scratching spell in the ancient language.
Book&Literature · SenseiCaffeine
a few corrections divination instead of division and scrying instead of screening
It was a form of information-based division, just like the scratching spell in the ancient language.
Book&Literature · SenseiCaffeine
I'd say stick to the main story but anytime the mc gives out a quest (like conquering the step stones) you could write an interlude with the most interesting pov. for instance if the mc ordered the creation of a post service you could have an interlude with the pov of a post carrier. otherwise I personally like reaction interludes, what I Don't like is using interludes for pure foreshadowing (ie some enemy plotting) I much prefer getting surprised together with the mc.
your decision
TV · Chill_ean_GUY
1
+1
i) To focus on this fanfic only
Anime & Comics · Akros_Zero
Hi dont wanna be rude but its incessant instead of incestant so yeah But incestant is certainly funnier anyway thx for the chap
keep cooking
Blood And Iron (ASOIAF/GoT)
TV · Chill_ean_GUY