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What? you can eat for literally 500 yen

I don’t know if you plan to go premium with this novel. But if you do you need to edit the lyrics right now. They have copyright and you need actual permission to use them. The same is movie scripts and book quotes. Except you use the legal way to quote them. I personally don’t care about copyright thing, but i know of three novels who got cancelled after getting a contract because of this. One thing you could do is edit the lyrics to something you create and in the paragraph comment tell us what the real song is. If you want to keep doing it this way then i recommend you also post this in the fanfic category and instead open a patreon. I personally think the novel idea is to cool to be a fanfic. but you do you.

So he has to train hypertrophy on his psych powers.

Don’t forget legs day!

The way they are speaking feels like they are robots. People in office talk normally but with respect, not like some type of chat gpt thingy. Is also a problem for you author because you lose the chance to give them original characteristics to each character making them more real. Also instead of expressing every feeling with dialogs sometimes i better to describe the body language only. Last thing. You are writing in first person, so is not good to change povs to other character, the beauty of first person, is that we the readers learn with the mc, making things more mysterious. And you author having an easier time making plots, personality and showing the thoughts of the mc. Sorry for the criticism, i really like the story i think it has a lot of potential. I would hope that he didn’t have an AI that will steal a lot of scenes and chances to enrich the story. But the whole Internet thing is great.

Please stop writing dialogs like a script format. This is a novel, use proper labels and writing dialogs. Use “ “. instead of : If you have problems describing who is speaking just write he said, she said or the name of the person. Is boring to write but we readers won’t really notice in the flow of the story. Instead of you writing, Carlos: hello how are you? like script, you could go Carlos said, “hello, how are you?” if not it cut the flow down. Also not to insult, but when writer do that it reeks of lazyness.

Only in countrys with bad food laws.

Snakes fans need to touch some grass.