It's funny to read this reaction due to one of my characters being named Amaryllis. They quite different people.
I wasn't able to see their reactions but that's definitely Amaryllis, right?
Re: The Villainess Does It With Class
Fantasy · Raeven_Black
I...I couldn't get through the first paragraph. It's English, but the writing made me think it went through google translate. I really wanted to read the story, but I couldn't. I wish you the best of luck and hope to see grow as a writer. Regards, Korraly
Thanks so much for those kind words. More determined to get the next chapter out.
The Good: I saw writing improvements from the first three chapters starting at Chapter 4. I'm glad to see that your English writing skills are improving and you're finding a style of writing which works for you. I like the characterization of Logan and Daiman. I want to find out more about them and how they'll react to the Love Game. The Needs Improvement: The fact that the first three chapters are in 1st person and the following chapters are in 3rd person. That needs fixed. It was little shocking to go from 1st person to 3rd person all of a sudden. Another thing which needs to be addressed is the use of psychological conditions for descriptors. The book opens up with Madison describing herself as someone with antisocial disorder and later on she says she "feels the claustrophobia set in." It's risky and irresponsible to blatantly use these terms without treating them with the care that's required. These are complex conditions which need to be diagnosed by professionals. I don't mind if you want to have a character with these conditions, but you must show the readers that and not tell them they merely have those conditions. Conclusion: I wish you the best of luck in continuing this story. I hope you finish it and continue to improve on your abilities as a good writer.
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original Flower Bloom in March
Lei Yinying looked at the lifeless bodies laying in front of her and back up at the one person she thought she could trust. "Why?" The triumph in that person's eyes chilled her to the bone. "You were in the way of so many people's goals. Who told you to seduce him? Who told you to become his Crown Princess? Who told you that you could crawl from the gutter to such a position?" She stared at that person and swallowed back the tears that threatened to spill. There had been no one. She had fallen prey to someone else's trap. She had been the unlucky one in all that had happened. She lost her self-respect and her freedom in order to be with the children she carried for ten months. "Why don't you just go to hell?" Lei Yinying asked in a low voice as she stepped away from the dead bodies. She didn't know where the weapon came from or how it all happened. One moment she was crying over her dead children, the next she was slashing the throat of their killer. She felt a pain at the side of her head and everything went black. --- Then she woke up. Woke up after the night her entire life changed. She glanced to her left and noticed one key difference. The man who she had laid with was fast asleep. In the past...or before...she had awoken after him. He insisted on monitoring her for a time. In case she ended up carrying his children. Lei Yinying had thought she had escaped, but she hadn't. He dragged her back to him after she showed signs. The man that incidentally ruined her life, ruined the life of their children. Or it was her own weakness that had done it. "Not this time," she whispered to herself. --- This is the story of Lei Yinying, who after six years of hiding from the world would decide to make an entrance. What will remain the same and what will change? --- ARTWORK IS NOT MINE.10 Chs 72 Collections
- original
Alpha: Amaryllis
What type of person deserves a second chance? The ones who have been wronged. The ones who want to change for the better. What type of person deserves such good will from fate? "Those who will make the most of it. So make the most of it."7 Chs 10 Collections
- original
I'll Stay In The Back, Thanks
In her first life, she belonged to the highest authority in the land. She was her King's most used weapon. The shadow beneath the feet of his enemies. In the end, she betrayed her King for her people. The people betrayed her for their freedom. In her second life, she was once more a member of a high authority. She was her family's beloved princess. The light in their eyes. In the end, she was schemed against and fell to her death. What will happen when the betrayed weapon becomes the ruined princess instead? "Never give them what they want. Do the opposite. That's the best revenge. Live when you should be dead. Laugh when you should be sad."3 Chs 3 Collections
- original
Retention
Angie Dannel was an author everyone was watching. At the top of the Bestseller's List and an impressive online presence. She was a sweet heart that was beloved by her friends and colleagues. Someone several young English majors hoped would be their guest lecturer. She was at the top of her game when she received a strange email. An email asking, "Angelica, is that you?" Something that opened opened Pandora's Box. Something that had to be corrected. ---- She chewed on her lower lip and pinched her skin. This couldn’t be real. She shouldn’t be standing in this room. She doesn’t belong in the bedroom of her fictional character or her past self whichever it was. The sharp stab of pain from her arms caused tears to prick her eyes and reality to settle in a bit more. She was no longer Angie. She was Angelica again.8 Chs 1 Collections
I only read the first little bit, but it had my heart aching in the right ways. I still want to see how MC grows, but I have a feeling deep within my heart it will be amazing. Love that strong...plus the emotional song I was listening to sold it for me.
Rebirth: Pampered Wife’s Counterattack
Urban · Southern Wind