JaysonDark05

Brother, you use the word calculate too much. We already know that everything he does is calculated, there is no need to repeat it in everything the MC does. But it's just a suggestion. I like your story.

I think you should have the MC learn to use gadgets like Batman, for example the batarang, smoke bombs, the gachó, etc. so that when he becomes a hero he doesn't depend only on his fists and kicks.

[img=strong][img=strong][img=strong][img=strong][img=strong][img=strong][img=strong][img=strong][img=strong][img=strong][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it]

Friend, your story is good, but I think you should rewrite it starting from chapter 12, because you made a sudden change: the protagonist got beaten up and you didn't explain why. Also, you said it was because he was in Zetsu mode, but that's nonsense, because it's easier to get out of Zetsu mode than it is to get into it. Nen users are much stronger and faster than a normal human, and even more so if they have learned Ten. From what I've read, you gave the protagonist Nen talent because in Hunter x Hunter it was estimated that learning Ten could take a few years, while Zetsu could be learned more easily if you already know how to block aura points.[img=thinking]

..................................................................................................------+----++-------------------------------------