Yuzumi01

male LV 4

I like story some like fanfiction

2018-03-27 Joint Indonesia
Badges 5

Moments 24
Yuzumi01
Yuzumi01
24 days ago
Commented

Hei bro, can i just transfer to you be member in your patreon, my bank is reject connect to paypal

Yuzumi01
Yuzumi01
24 days ago
Commented

Why, is so Long for update next chapter, are you ok😟

Yuzumi01
Yuzumi01
1 months ago
Commented

I love ai, don't you watch episode 1.... How sad his fate

Yuzumi01
Yuzumi01
2 months ago
Replied to The_Synonym

It's okay, I enjoy reading your version of the story. Looking forward to the continuation.

Yuzumi01
Yuzumi01
2 months ago
Commented

Sure, here is the translation into English: --- There is a small issue in the story. According to the plot, the situation of Class B, which was discussed at the summer camp, mentions that Class B is only taught by one hero, their homeroom teacher. This is why Class B is envious of Class A, as they are taught by many heroes. But it's okay, because this does not significantly affect the story. Or perhaps it changed due to the presence of the main character.

Yuzumi01
Yuzumi01
3 months ago
Commented

Hey, i want join your member, but i don't have credit card dan paypal

Yuzumi01
Yuzumi01
3 months ago
Posted

Banyak lubang dalam plot. Terlalu buru- buru dalam pembuatan plot. Terlalu banyak campuran anime. Seharusnya lebih pelan dalam ceritanya. Disarankan untuk untuk membuat plot lebih perlahan agar cerita jelas

Yuzumi01
Yuzumi01
7 months ago
Commented

Maybe you could try to rewrite this chapter without disturbing the continuation. because I feel uncomfortable when you describe D's character in the wrong way, D is an evil god who is so bored that in search of fun he creates a system to save the planet for fun. Even if there are existences that he doesn't understand or new variables, he won't destroy them instead he will regard them as entertainment and a new challenge for those who can reach him, that's why he provides the heresy skill. Please improve it so that readers will continue to continue your story. Also try to create your own world, don't stick to the existing plot, besides that, don't make the MC directly OP, please explain the process of getting it more clearly. Lastly, pay attention to the balance of power, don't make it too OP so that the story is monotonous and has no ups and downs

Yuzumi01
Yuzumi01
7 months ago
Commented

in the Kumo Desuka series. Every time an Appricial skill is used on an opponent, the opponent will feel uncomfortable and disturbed, and will be aware that they are being watched.

Yuzumi01
Yuzumi01
7 months ago
Commented

Your forget about spesial skill kumoko (idate jump= +500 speed