couple of things. first please get an editor or someone to proof read. there are so many small typos or words that don't really make sense. like he is flinching his spy's. should be flexing. then words that should he plural but don't have an s at the end. also all the political stuff and the world building is nice. but we need to start on the mc sooner or atleast mention them every couple of chapters.
lmfaoooooooo wtf is that response. gotta be a cultural thing...
Ouyang Shuo couldn't tolerate that and without saying anything, opened the door and sat in the co-driver seat. "Ha, what am I scared of? If there's rape, it will be me raping you."
The World Online
Games · Sheng Xiao Jian Ke
"Move you filthy woman I"m here for the boy. AVADA KEDABRA!"
Harry Potter Echoes of the Past.
Book&Literature · endless
also i just noticed i completely skipped over the pervell bloodline. I always believed the Potter's were a branch family of the pervells due to having the invisibility cloak. I like to think that the reason the Potter's have one of the 3 deathly hollows was that it was passed down through their family.
It was the first book when harry went to gringotts it was written outside the bank. and no I'm not using ai. however I am using grammar to help me with my storry.
Harry paused, reading the inscription carefully. He glanced at Deek. "They're not joking, are they?"
Harry Potter Echoes of the Past.
Book&Literature · endless
I appreciate it. I agree to a certain extent. I really did just have an idea while playing the game. and you're correct. I do like Grindelwald and always felt like there was a ton of options for him. please keep the suggestions coming.
house elves can live very long lives. its mentioned about kretcher that he had been in the family for generations
thank you for the feedback. I will address this in the next chapters
What do you think so far?
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original Harry Potter Echoes of the Past.
A story about a young man who dies while playing Hogwarts Legacy. He is the heir to the Aurelius Family. A fading but incredibly powerful wizard family with ties to ancient magic, and when he ends his battle with Ranrock he is mortally wounded. Thinking he is going to finally pass on, he closes his eyes only to hear a woman screaming not my baby. The woman is Lily Potter. Now our MC is once again reincarnated but this time as Harry Potter the boy who lived. Follow along as he uses his knowledge of the Potterverse from his first life, and his knowledge from his second life to defy the destiny set before him.7 Chs 69 Collections
- original
VR System In Walking Dead. (dropped)
4.49
Roran A retired Marine Scout Sniper finds a VR system that gives him a second life in the Walking Dead world. Follow Roran on his rise to be an Apocalyptic Overlord. (This is my first time writing a story, I will appreciate any advise or criticism. Also I do not own the cover picture, if you're the owner and want it taken down just tell me.)29 Chs 2.1k Collections
do you read what you have written before posting it?
''Yes but they are not OUR custom.Me must have been waiting ten minutes ... I say we just enter without a care '' Laedio proposed as he sighed
Steel and Sorrow: Rise of the Mercenary king
War · Allevatore_dicapre