Chapitre 4: Finding My Place

I mean besides the men causing problems I have no entrainment. They're causing problems inside and outside. You know what I mean when I say inside 😉. The biggest problem is the fact the wolves don't tame like dogs. It's wild and real wild, they know they're supposed to be better dogs and are human but don't care.

I thought the missed behaved jocks in movies was exaggerated. You got that except it's worse. You see the don't just break a few things or make a mess. They destroy everything. Don't follow them. I did that was a mistake and you can't confront them. You will get hurt if you try to stop them or get in their way. Almost got crushed and trampled. Now I stay still, run or move out the way. Those are the only options. How I see it is you took guys and you made them stronger. Than the restrictions and consequences disappeared.

It's a real danger to the rest of who aren't as strong. They're taking the healing factor for granted and abuse their strength. They can fuck each other up and break each other's bones. But there werewolves so they heal real fast and either get revenge so it continues or acts like it's no big deal. Me over hear freaking out think people are dead. Everyone telling me it's just guys ruff housing. It's not even close to what I saw when my brother was messing around with his friend.

I saw blood everywhere and it just looked bad. So the first couple times I went to the Alpha. Felt bad after getting them in trouble. So I either need to get the doctor, become a doctor, or not care. I tried to be a nurse and help. That idea to be a nurse or doctor flew away when I saw a bad injury. Yep can't handle gore on TV and definitely not in real life. Being a werewolf didn't change that. I mean I could see a little bit of bone, tons of blood and tissue.

I don't know how I eat animals when I just puked from seeing that. I guess I don't think about it or look at it. When I first was hunting, well after I didn't feel starving. I thought it would be gross and wouldn't be able to eat it. Not a problem as wolf. You know the fact that fast food isn't close by. Yeah, that caused me to always be hunting and learn how to cook. I could set timers and follow directions before. I never cooked without having instructions. It took some time but I'm good at it now.

Nevermind I gained a werewolf stomach. So I can handle rare and medium or badly cooked meat. I learned how to partially shift. It's like in the show teen wolf. So you get the tears and nails. Except I don't gain facial hair or weird wrinkles on the face. It helps so much because how else will I skin the bunny. You say knife. I say and wear do I carry my knife. It's useless, say I do put a knife in my clothes and take them off before I shift. That knife will get lost when I put my clothes back on. Say maybe I don't lose it near my clothes and use it. Now do I have to shift to be able to get back to the packs land or just forget it in the woods.

Claws it is, can't rely on anything else. Sometimes if I'm close by I can just go hunting and come back with the prey. You don't want to go hunting close by for many reasons. You got the obvious it was already hunted area and also animals stay clear and know there's people or wolves around. Than the main reason is you don't want to show you body to strangers. I get it if you always did it.

I just can't get over this and only wolves during puberty and teenage years agree with me on this. I'm a human and grew up human. Now I have super powers, but I still need privacy. Not a nudest, and am still the same person. I just gained something and learned new things. Sometimes I wish I was more of a pervert than I am. That way I could get a peak at the goods and go hunting with others. It gets lonely when your alone.

Being lonely doesn't last long. You got two choices either super load or nothing at all. This has made me discover a babysitting gig. It's quiet in a few places. I tried the clinic, it's never quite. It's not load or overwhelming. It can get load and busy quickly. Also remember the blood and gore. When it comes to the babies it can be load. It's also only the only safe place from jocks with super powers.

Sometimes it can be hard when you're trying to have a whisper conversation. Because, with my luck, it always seems to be right in the middle of a story you got to get quiet. The babies get loader as the get loader or just get harder to deal with. The sounds probably get better as it sounds like words or purs or animal sounds. Before you could never tell and it was all just noise, mostly crying. They grow faster, so the sounds are really close to toddlers that mess up and learn how to talk.

The babies are so cute and make me want to have my own. If it's a crazy day I feel grateful for being single. Depending on the level of chaos my want for kids changes. On the highest level of annoyance it's I'm never having this many kids. It's overwhelming, especially since they start fighting each other really early. They can't talk or walk and not good at crawling. I swear just put them in training classes instead. They must all be future warriors at this rate. One days they all end in tears I'm happy I don't have kids. On crazy days I see why I shouldn't have kids right now. On days the kids and adults are in tears I don't want kids. The days it's crazy and everyone cries, I believe I will never have kids.

Every time without fail I decided to never have kids they're angels the next day. The babies must know. They make me fall in love all over again and put up with crap. Babies are the worst clients and I don't blame the parents. I know some of them are late on purpose. The parents deserve a break, but I do too. What I'm saying is pick up your kids. When the parents are late you can't do nothing. I'm about to be at this guy's as, no way you an hour late. Wait this isn't the first time complained to the manager. I just realized I can't beat his as, but his wife can.

Yeah they do have phones, a little bit of wifi. The wifi is so slow it's non existent. It took me forever to find out because I had to take a full day off to find a town to get a new phone. We all know the last one had no hope of working or being found. All I know was I had a phone before I was attacked by that wolf that led me to all this. But with my new phone I am calling the mom. This was not the first time that guy was late. I understand if your 5, and I know to took a breather if it's 15 minutes later. The only reason you should be close to 30 minutes late is if your baby is sleeping the entire time. I know it's on purpose if it's 30 minutes.

We are werewolves, we have super speed you can't be that late and shouldn't even be 20 minutes late. My trick of tattling to the wife worked. You all know he came on time ever since. He was so pail when I called and when he dropped off his kid the next day. That means his women wanted to know where he was at for that hour. He must be hiding something and she probably thought he went to a strip club.

I need a break from babysitting, it's just too much. I think I will still help out, but not as much. I don't want to make it my job. You mostly just pick a task and work on that. It becomes a title like warrior. I decided to be a hunter. It didn't go as planned. Everyone apposed. I didn't realize how behind these wolves were. I grew up in a small town that didn't like change so trends, fashion, and the like were all behind by a few years. The town was very old fashion as in women should get married have kids and divorce is bad. Even some of the laws that were put in place weren't passed or applied in the town. You had to look online for any real modern information.

In my town you could work or get divorced or date, just frowned upon something's. The job didn't matter but once you had kids they didn't want you to have a job anymore. In the pack you could only be a nurse, baker, mother, or caregiver. So maybe a doctor,a babysitter, unemployed, or a cook. I proved I was talented and fast, being smaller finally had it's advantages.

The issue of undressing in front of people took time to figure it out. I'm used to hunting in groups and on my own now. I had to explain my discomfort. I'm now able to step down to my underwear on the way to the tree that I finish changing is. It only takes like a minute difference. It used to take longer. Bonus is I got to see some more hotties bodies. I also learned or was able to change with some girls in a separate area. Other girls were only learning the bare basics. One day they might let others become hunters or warriors.

Sorry what I really learned from my perverted sneak peaks was I might be BI. I mean bisexual. I never noticed before, but girls look cute and hot. I might have been distracted before because it wasn't acceptable or because I didn't see hot girls in town. I think it was both. I have started experimenting a little bit. I was even able to date a few girls. I don't know my sexuality, but I'm not straight. I think I will just stick with bisexual. It wasn't a big surprise, it just felt like it fit.

The pack doesn't know right now, well some obviously do. I have been dating around and getting along with the guys. Was even able to bond with a few over liking girls. I don't know how the rest of the pack will except it. I think it will be like the the guys. They just never heard of it and didn't know what it was. After not believing me and asking a lot of questions they came around.

Crap this boy has been catching my eye. The guys have started to talk about mates. I keep hearing this term. They keep complaining how they don't know where to head off to to find it. Also how they hope their mate isn't human.

The guys seemed like no help in this matter. I found a gas station and library about an half hour run away from the packs boarder or the woods. It became super helpful. Even started to work at the gas station so I could buy their snakes to eat at the library. I know it's bad and I shouldn't eat in the library. The library seems abandoned and there's almost no customers. It seems like a miracle every time I see a human inside.

I searched for tales about werewolves and all types of fantasy. Luckily my super powers made it a whole lot faster to get through their fantasy section. I mean I didn't read them all. I mostly gained questions to ask the pack and my new friends. After many questions I could cut it down a lot.

I mean I thought if werewolves are real everything must be. Apparently vampires and everything else is a myth. I was confused thinking about all of this. I have decided that I believe that ghosts, demons, religion crap, and vampire could exist. Even if it exists I will never see it. So no matter what is out there, hiding in the shadows. I don't got to think or worry about it. If I see it worry about it than.

It took me longer than I would like to admit to stop reading about other stuff. I mean you can't blame me. Even though the library had little fantasy romance tails the free wifi didn't disappoint in options. After I got what little was accurate from the library books I switched dto reading online.

I fully believed the librarian was a vampire at this point. How do you always come out of no where. I have super hearing and smell now. I would say super sight, but my eyes weren't the best before. Super powers made my sight a little better than normal. Superpowers can only do so much. Physical enhancement is all about it finding out how much you could grow genetically with gym and best shape. So however strong you could become and makes you a little bit better than that. Only a huge deal if you're already at your potential so a pro wrestler or weight lifter. Otherwise your at the same level as professional players and they're always people better than you.

Not better because their werewolves, but stronger better humans. It's way better than your best future self, but not the same level. Only those who were at that pro level are beyond the humans. Otherwise there is always a human who is better than you. Than if your better than all the humans your not the best out of werewolves. If best werewolf your not as strong as tanks or as fast as cars.

When I did learn ..., it took sometime. While researching I had to stop. Basically I just rewatch or remember fantasy stuff I saw before. Most of it was exaggerated and had to be thrown out the window. The big thing they got right was mates or soulmates. Soulmates are beautiful and than I realized it's mostly tragic. It seems the new god I must worship. Luna the moon goddess, I mean we just worship the moon. Basically say some prayers. Usually the moon is praised for giving us mates and powers. Prayed to when waiting to shift and missing a soulmate.

Most of the time you feel sparks and connection with someone. It's no different from human dating except you can physically feel the spark or goosebumps people claim to feel and it's a lot stronger. It's like a magnet and they do have a scent. People smell like normal nothing special endless deemed the one. The only big difference is you can't break up or cheat. Well you can buy you shall suffer hahahaha. It feels like that is what the moon is doing. It mocks us.

If you cheat or try to break up feels like you're dying. You don't actually die. It just feel like it. You can love afterwards. It's just like, ten times harder than a normal break up. The more I read these tragedies the angier I got. What's the worst is that after one mate dies the other commits suicide. Almost every time they end it all to be with their dead mate. It's not fair to their friends and family. Everyone acts like it's normal and can't be stopped. In life they only have one mate. Second chance mates are believed to be myths. With that sad fact add on the pain of cheating. Then you could have bad luck or an abusive mate. The worst is rejection.

Rejection is where you feel extreme pain from breaking up. It hurts around the same level as someone cheating on you. It makes you want to end it all. But you shouldn't have to feel that pain. Not from cheating or breaking up. Especially when you needed to break up or just don't want to be together. They could both agree to see or date other people.

You see far too many relationships that should be over. The abusive relationships and bad relationships don't end because you don't want to feel the pain of rejection. It was a good idea at first. Because if you're a victim with a cheating ex or bad break up you want them to suffer too. Normally you do some petty revenge. Also why does the victim and the criminal get the same punishment.

After figuring this out I found my mate and became grateful he's not an ass or abusive. Of course we have our ups and downs. I want to break up sometimes after a big fight. I can't because it would hurt psychically and I would regret it anyway. Other times I am made about living for longer.

As werewolves you have a stronger amune system and are more durable. That makes you not die as normal people. It seems to be true that we live longer. It's not just being more durable it's a werewolf factor. I was super pissed because I thought it was forever forever.