Chapitre 41: Faded Yellow Ribbon

Akira was gone.

The loss made his heart thump with an unbearable ache. His mind reeled with thoughts of telling Akira's mother. Her tears would further break his heart.

He dropped to his knees on a soil patch, beneath the shady canopy of an aged old wisteria tree. Disturbing a cluster of fall-red leaves with his body. His long hair had come undone. Straggly tufts tumbled about his head to hide his ugly face. The ground's moisture was soaking through his kimono to make his skin go cold.

His heart slowed into an irregular rhythm. A numbing pain overwhelmed his body. His mind became a clutter of garbage thoughts, agitated by mixed emotions. Sweat made his skin clammy and unbearable.

Colors faded from his vision. Soon the world around him was a blur. His mind couldn't cope with the pain. He lost consciousness.

"Chikafuji-san!"

Hinata groaned as stirred to consciousness. Yuri's voice was frantic as he kept calling out his name.

"Sakamoto-san?" He weakly asked.

"Thank god!" Yuri bellowed with a sigh of relief.

"Baka! Tell me why a cripple, blind man and woman should be carrying a fool of man back to his home!" Yuri's sigh of relief became hearty scolding.

Hinata looked about, confused. He glanced in his surroundings and saw that he was lying on his futon in his room of the temporary home.

"Hina-chan!" Shouta cried as he dived on Hinata.

The boy sobbed into his chest.

"I thawt you dead again!" He continued to cry as his arms squeezed Hinata's waist tighter. His small, skinny, body trembled like a shaking leaf.

"He was worried about you," Rei said coolly from the doorway with Kei next to him.

Hinata shuffled into a sitting position with Shouta still clinging to him.

Miki, Miwa and Mei-chan poked their heads around, from behind the twin's backs. Their eyes lit up with joy at seeing Hinata awake. They dived on him the same way Shouta did. Hugging him tight so he almost stumbled back down.

"Kids! Get off him!" Mei-san scolded the children. She managed to pry them off him.

"He needs to rest!"

Hinata wistfully sighed when she ushered the reluctant kids from the room, with Rei and Kei closing the shoji door behind them.

He was alone with Yuri again.

"Aki's gone." Yuri's voice was level. Stating a fact.

He peered into Hinata's eyes, who was trying to avoid them.

"You're not to blame."

Hinata bowed his head low. "Who is if not me?"

"That secret policeman that stabbed him is."

Hinata flew into a fit and outburst. Arguing his point against Yuri's fact. He was to blame because the kenpeitai wouldn't have been looking for them if it wasn't for him.

"Do you think I'm a traitor?" He blurted. "I must be for the secret police to hunt me."

"No." Yuri instantly answered. "Hell, no! That thought is stupid when all you've ever done is work your shop and live your life."

Hinata raised his head to meet his eyes. "I don't understand. Why?"

Tears rained down his eyes again. Yuri sighed. He tenderly pulled Hinata into a hug with understanding of a different meaning.

"War. That's why."

"It's over."

"Soldiers fighting, maybe. The country is facing a new war, I figure."

Yuri's voice was deep and firm to Hinata's ear pressed to his chest.

"New war?" Hinata gulped and squeezed his eyes closed. "No more."

"Not that kind. Guns are over. To rebuild and restart is what we need to face now. Japan's new war is with itself. We have to find a new way to live."

Hinata sighed, understanding his words.

Both men allowed a moment to still their grief, so they could stand and continue on with the rest of their day.

Hinata left his room and entered the kitchen, where Aiyama-san was poking wood at the clay stove to keep the steaming pot, on the hot plate, boiling. Savory fish and herb smells wafted up his nose.

Mei-san was shelling beans and stalks on the ground nearby, with the help of the two young girls, who were doing their best not to make a mess or waste any of the beans with their clumsy fingers. Mei-san was a good and patient teacher. Giving them as much help to make the girls feel useful and beam with pride.

"Chikafuji-san." Shuu called out Hinata's name from the main room's doorway.

Hinata slowly turned and acknowledged him with a nod. The men assumed a conversation at the family table in the room. Shuu wore a commoners gray kimono. Obviously, he wasn't able to wear his policeman's uniform as of this moment. In Hinata's eyes, he still looked like a policeman just in plain clothes.

"I heard about Honda-san." Shuu gritted his teeth, holding back his emotions.

He had known Akira since their middle school days. Of all the students they shared lessons with, the last person he thought would die during the war was him.

Akira couldn't join the army due to his weak lungs. His condition had improved when he was an adult, but it still wasn't good enough to pass an army medical. Not that Akira had minded, since he could resume his book-worm lifestyle and manage the family shop.

Then Hinata and Eiji had entered the village to cause a stir with the locals. Two handsome young men, randomly popping up into town. Shuu had noticed Akira's eyes longing for Hinata as soon as he saw him. It was likely no one, but Mei-san and Yuri, had noticed the man's interest. Since they were the only ones, aside from himself, that knew Akira was 'of that kind'.

Was it coincidence or god's hand that placed Hinata in the village for Akira's care? The man that lead to Akira's demise.

By Hinata's distraught expression, it's obvious he was genuinely grieving and in shock. Of course, he had never intended to bring harm, let alone death, to Akira.

The man had lost both his partners to war. From what he had gathered from Yuri and the others, both of those loses were connected to a prominent Tokyo man. It seemed the actions of that man, living on the other side of the country, somehow caused a ripple effect to Hinata's life.

According to Kou. Rocko believed Hinata was akin to an angel who would undergo harsh tests to prove his virtue. His mind recalled his past meetings and observations of Hinata. It was hard for him not to believe Rocko's words. Despite all odds being against him, Hinata still managed to stand strong. Aki's death would likely chip away a large chunk of his personal strength.

"Honda lived the life he had wanted." Shuu solemnly stated of Akira. "Sacrificing himself, so his family could live. He died honorably."

"He didn't need to die at all," Hinata said.

"We all die, Chikafuji-san. It's how we die that matters." Shuu held Hinata's eyes. "And who we die for."

He gave Hinata his earnest advice. "I don't think Honda would have wanted his lover to be dwelling on his death and forget about the times of his life."

Hinata's eyes widened with surprise. No wonder Shuu was the village's policeman. He didn't miss a thing.

"Then what do you think I should do?"

"Keep living for those who still need you. These kids, women and men rely on you. I'm sure Honda would want you to focus on them." Shuu heaved a deep sigh, finishing off his spiel.

Hinata closed his eyes. Thinking on his last moments with Akira and the words he had said to him. There wasn't a single word that was condemning him for his injuries. Instead, Akira seemed to be saying goodbye.

Tears slipped down his eyes. "I miss him."

"As we all do." Shuu sighed again. "In respect for those gone. Let's not forget their life and live it for them."

Hinata wiped away his tears and nodded his head, giving Shuu a weak smile.

"Hai."

The main room was soon noisy and boisterous when the others entered.

Hinata found himself surrounded by kids, men and women who laid out a feast for a king onto the table. That is, as much as four bowls of beans, fish soup and cooked wild growing vegetables could fill.

Aiyama-san filled up a small bowl for Hinata and ordered him to eat.

"Only for Hina-chan!" Shouta labeled Hinata's bowl. He gave the other kids a stern look.

"Thank you." Hinata gave the boy a thankful smile, and patted his head fondly.

Everyone settled around the table to share the family meal. The moment eased most of Hinata's grieving heart.