Chapitre 33: Home is Where the Heart is

The sun was shining brightly, almost blinding, yet the view before Zhang XueYa was unobstructed. Fields of dewy grass and azalea flowers stretched before him, the stone steps splitting a trail between the sea of green and pink.

Plum trees were in full bloom, and the soft wind rustled the petals, making them rain over his path, covering the ground as he moved forward, towards the house he knew was nestled at the end of this slight hill. After all these years, he had finally returned to Plum Blossom Hall.

XueYa had a little smile on his lips, and he both marvelled over how familiar everything looked and whether if he had died just now. His white undergarments were still bloodstained from the whipping earlier, yet it didn't pain him anymore. He had fallen unconscious, that he remembered. But certainly, he hadn't died?

Not that dying was particularly terrifying to XueYa. If he really thought about it, dying could be even considered merciful. He wouldn't have to think, to worry any further. But at the same time, he was still too young to die. There were still many things to do, to experience. Dying wasn't terrible or that painful, but it wasn't fun either, and if it meant he would be stuck in this plain of pretty fields and house, he would rather die again to get out of it.

But why was he here, of all places? He was supposed to be locked up in that little cellar of Crescent Moon Hall. But here he was, walking up to where he had spent most of his childhood.

The sky was a perfect shade of light blue, void of any clouds, too perfect to be real. XueYa was quite assured that he had died, although he never expected his younger twin to be the one to cause his death.

"XueYa?"

XueYa lifted his gaze from the field and settled on a woman standing by the front door of his childhood home. Her black hair was left open, framing her peach-shaped face as it cascaded over her shoulders, pooling over her chest. Her round eyes had widened from surprise as she hurried down the two steps and ran towards XueYa with open arms.

"My baby!" The heart-shaped lips curved into a sorrowful smile as she wrapped her arms around XueYa's neck, pulling him into a tight hug. XueYa was frozen in place. As the warmth of her embrace and the gentle heartbeat told him that she was really there, his hands rose from his sides and wrapped around the frail body carefully. As if afraid, he would break her.

"Mom?"

She pulled away, leaving a stain of tears over his shoulder. Cupping his cheeks in her delicate hands, she let her thumb brush over his skin tenderly. Her lips trembled as tears ran down her cheeks, watering the ground beneath their feet. Her eyes stopped over his scarred eye.

XueYa realised too late that he wasn't wearing his eyepatch. He didn't want her to see the gruesome state of his eye, but he couldn't bring himself to hide it either. It was a part of him now.

"My precious child, life has been unkind to you."

"How come you are here?" XueYa said, his brows furrowed as he tried to understand whether he was truly dead or merely hallucinating.

A sharp squeeze over his left cheek told him it was definitely not a hallucination, the pain was too real. And his mother's pinch was as deadly as it was in his memories, XueYa noted to his annoyance. Blood hurried over the abused skin, turning the area burning hot to the touch.

"Is this how you greet your mother after all these years? I thought I had taught you better!" Madam Zhang sniffed as she reached up to wipe her tears in the sleeve of her pure white robes.

XueYa reached up to massage his face. He was too handsome to suffer from any external injuries in such an important area. Losing an eye… well, it happened suddenly, and at least the eye patch added to his deadly charms.

"But," XueYa started, his eye narrowing as he assessed his mother. "You are dead. I saw it with my own eyes."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, that you had to witness it. I truly am." She whispered as she made her way towards the house. "You weren't supposed to be awake. Neither of you was to be awake."

XueYa gave her a little cheeky, self-righteous grin, unable to shake the habit off as he followed her. "You look better now, mom. Your skin is flushed, full of life, youthful. How ironic that only after death would you look and be healthy."

XueYa stopped before the steps, and instead of walking inside the house, he curved towards the old blossom tree. The carved words were still visible, as if freshly carved on the bark. He let his fingers run over the letters, feeling their rough edges against his fingertips. Even the carvings hadn't aged a day in this place.

"Death is, but just the beginning. We are in what they call the nether. From what I understood, not everyone can come here." His mother said as she stopped beside him. "Your time has not come yet, XueYa. I can feel your life-force emitting from the outside. But I'm glad you could visit me."

She hooked her arm around his, letting her head rest against his shoulder.

XueYa didn't understand what she meant, but he didn't mind visiting her either. Looking at her from the side of his eye, he let a little smile settle over his lips. He used to be like that with her when he was still a child. He was too tall now to let his head rest against her shoulder, but this was nice, too. It had been a while since he could spend time with his mother.

"Then why are you here, mom?" XueYa said as he turned his attention back to the tree. "Souls should all crossover, eventually. Isn't it dangerous for you to stay behind?"

"I'm waiting for you all to come back home to me." She whispered, never lifting her head from his shoulder.

XueYa let his eye wander around him, and for the first time in a long time, he felt guilt gripping at his lunges and the words he said next were like a knife stabbing at his guts.

"This has long since not been a home to me, mom."

His mother turned her face away, nodding slowly, as XueYa heard her take a shaky breath in before letting it out. "I know, XueYa. The only person who will return to my side is your father."

She let her hand fall away from XueYa's as she reached out to touch the carved words.

"Snow falls, clouds pass, but the heart longs home, where one feels complete. Do you know what that poem meant?"

"I never thought about it," XueYa said. For once, he was entirely truthful. It felt weird, and somehow even a little wrong. He didn't like the feeling he was getting. What was it called? He definitely hated it.

"It's about you two, YaYun and you. The snow will eventually leave the clouds, and clouds will have to pass on to better plains. In the end, the two of you will have to find your true homes. You were born together, but, no matter how much you love each other, you will one day have to find your own paths."

XueYa scoffed. His mother hadn't seen the battle before YaYun's coronation, nor the way YaYun looked at him now with nothing but hatred in his eyes. She had missed the little torturing show from earlier. There was no love left between the brothers.

"XueYa," Her voice was firm, and XueYa straightened his back unconsciously. "I truly hope you two can be like you were in your childhood, inseparable."

"Life has a way of ruining plans and hopes, mom," XueYa chuckled, shaking his head as he turned away from the plum tree.

"Let the dead have a little hope, XueYa," His mother sighed as she stepped past him and took a seat on the swing. She motioned XueYa to sit next to her, but he only walked over and stood beside her.

"One day," His mother started, as she reached over to run her fingers through XueYa's long locks. "YaYun will understand everything, XueYa. I believe in both of you."

XueYa shrugged indifferently. After all these years, did it really matter anymore? He was used to it, his life was good, there wasn't much he had complaints about. Well, besides being hung up in the basement for gods knew how long…

But that wasn't an urgent matter. Now that XueYa had his mother beside him, he had to get everything out of her as soon as possible before the dream, hallucination, whatever ended.

"I think he has found the one, mom. Their zodiac animals have decided already. They have scented each other out. It's up to their conscious mind to decide whether they want to move forward with it." It took all his might to keep his tone level and uncaring.

XueYa would have never thought the white snake he stole from would be the one for YaYun. What were the odds? But why should he care, or feel disappointed?

His thoughts halted as his mother's eyes lit up like stars as she grasped his arm, squeezing it in excitement. "Is it true, XueYa? You are not teasing me, are you?"

XueYa shook his head, more to himself than to her. "It's true. The signs seem to point to it."

She let out a sad sigh as she smiled up at XueYa. "I hope, one day, you will find a home for your heart too, XueYa. You have suffered long enough."

"There is no need for a home if one doesn't have a heart," XueYa said as he moved behind her, letting his hand brush over the smooth, white wood of the swing.

"Even if you try to prove to the world and yourself that you are heartless, you still have one, XueYa. I know my babies best."

XueYa gave his mother a little push on the swing, letting it move in tune with the soft wind. She let out a little delighted laugh that calmed his mind and made him yearn for the simple days for a moment. She used to give him a push on this same swing, now was his turn to do it for her.

He didn't know if he would ever return to this place or ever have the chance to see her again. He would make these brief moments count. The information he needed could wait for a while.

"I wish I could meet your special persons. I have missed out on so many things as you two grew up." His mother whispered, as the swing finally came to a halt.

XueYa moved back over to her side, taking a seat next to her.

"I don't think you'd want to witness the moments of me growing up, mom," XueYa chuckled, but there was no humour in his tone. The chuckle died a quick death when he continued, "But I think YaYun might be getting into some trouble."

"What? What trouble? Is he in danger? XueYa-" The jolliness subsided as concern marred her gentle features.

"I know, mom. I'll do all that I can. I won't let anything happen to YaYun. I promise." XueYa said, taking hold of her hands to stop her from wringing them painfully.

"Mom, I need you to tell me everything you know about fox spirits."