Synopsis
It's exactly as it sound, the twist is that a teenager took control of his body
It will be AU MCU with some X men elements.
-I don't own anything obviously only some oc's. After all it's all for entertainment.
(btw , it's my first time writing and I am very sorry about any spelling or any grammar mistakes.)
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État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
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Power Stone 
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53Critiques
4.28
- Qualité de l’écriture
- Stabilité des mises à jour
- Développement de l’histoire
- Conception des personnages
- Contexte du monde
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MC is already super powerful, there really isn't a sense in this story beyond collecting women. It could even be a good story but it has several missing points that leave the reader unwilling to read.
The story idea is good. As long as the author doesn’t break the mcs charcter it has good prospects. But I would suggest writing the chapters on google document or using grammarly, or both. Because the amount of spelling mistakes are soon to make it borderline unreadable.
Im enjoying it so far. There were a couple grammar mistakes but otherwise it was fine. Another thing I hope you improve on are the character development of the different girls. I feel like their development and romance with the MC are a bit too fast, I hope they have more interactions with the MC. The Blue Queen should be developed more. I suggest adding a few slice of life chapters like a date or so to show their interactions with the mc and to build up more of their character. I also advice you to develop them more before you add more girls to his peerage because it might become harder to develop more of the girls. Anyways your story was quite enjoyable and I hope you continue and improve more.
Spoiler de révélation
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The concept is good but the writing quality and story development are horrible. You can see the main indicators that this book would be a story only for the author's pleasure is that it went for the romance and harem right away not even giving anything to make us root for the relationship or development between the characters and it seems so forceful too, the mc who is too focused on getting women and is op right away. in my opinion, it had a great concept, but a horrible story
When I saw the title and description of the story I have to say I was excited to say the lease but unfortunately the author did something that many great authors do they insert a charcter into a universe in a way that makes no sense in that universe Im sure u know that the marvel universe has its own powerful cosmic entities that represent something in the universe from the being above all to lady death it just doesn’t make sense for Monarchs and ruler to be there also with the existence of lady death she can rip away control from ashborn is her domain …… then the last thing that bothers me and cause me to drop this is the recreation of the evil pieces from high school dxd like why man why u need to do something dumb like that there’s no need why will the MC even do that above all that this thing is edgy af don’t get me wrong I like me a little edge but jeez this is beyond me dominate this dominate that 😫 like “daddy chill”🤣
Spoiler de révélation
Hello there for anyone reading this. I just want to say that I am just a guy who writes for fun and it's my first Fanfic, I don't mind criticism so please do tell me about my The flaws of my story. :)
will you continue this book?👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
A great fanfic. Love the character (A huge fan of solo leveling) and thankfully you made his personality similar to what i think ashborn would have. Tho, he is a little straight forward, i don’t mind the harem but pls don’t pick them up like pokemons. Probably max 10? would be more than enough. (If possible, save some spot for anime waifu’s after endgame if there’s world travel) I also hope that Mc will not intervene in every problem/fight the avengers have. These are just my personal opinions. 🥰 Keep up the good work.
To anyone that wants to read a good story, avoid this lol. But to those who just want to turn their brain off and read for fun this is up your alley. Grammar, sentences, and paragraphs needs a lot of work, especially pov writing as well.
More more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more
Spoiler de révélation
I can't read the text message style writing. jason: how are you today john: I'm doing good that's not writing you lose emersion in the story I think you have a great idea and story here but this just takes away from everything
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Good!!👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
awesome............................................i need more chapters author ....................................................................................................
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I do find it quite intriguing how the MC is The Shadow Monarch and is the ruler of shadows not to mention way he built or shaped his empire to be and just how powerful and rich he is with the company that he had Sebastian make for him on Earth but also way he had conquered so many different planets and has plenty of loyal and powerful subordinates also like how they say for "The Emperor" overall I have enjoyed reading this book and do wonder what will happen especially with MC being so old and powerful that some of the other races/species around the galaxy forgot about him until now that is look forward to reading more of this book cant wait for when ur able to get the chance to continue on with this book although could do with not so many women for his harem/peerage don't want it to be like most other books/stories that have the MC or OC being in a harem just a suggestion still enjoy reading this book
bro when are you coming back... please post another chapter........ 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 ..............
3.6 stars. Actually, I don't think you really need to throw out the character development and actual plots OUT OF THE WINDOW just because the main character is "OP".
Mc is just interested in collecting women. The idea is good but poorly executed and some stuff seems extremely forced but it is a good ream to kill some time. ........... ....... ....... ..... .... ..... ....