Synopsis
A young 14-year-old boy is accused of a murder that took place one night. He has no clue of his name. More trouble will arise as he knows exactly what happened that horrifying night. Strange figures are after him. Why are they after him? And what kind of murder did he commit!? Does he have anywhere to go? Will he meet someone who believes he did not commit a sinister crime? Even worse, is he planning to murder the people he knows!? Better yet, who's the real murderer? This boy hides a deep secret of that night, but it will soon be unveiled.
WARNING! NOT A BOOK FOR CHILDREN UNDER THIRTEEN. THERE IS LANGUAGE, INTENSE SUGGESTIVE THEMES, BRUTALITY, AND BLOOD. THIS BOOK IS VERY CONTROVERSIAL!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY NIGHTMARES YOU WILL HAVE AFTER READING THIS STORY. IF YOU HAVE UNCONTROLLABLE ANXIETY OR DEPRESSION, DO NOT READ!!! BE CAREFUL WHEN READING!!! SOME CONTENT MAY BE STRONG FOR SOME READERS. PLEASE DO NOT TRY AND REENACT ANY OF THE CRIMES OR HORROR LISTED IN THIS BOOK. PLEASE DO NOT REENACT ANY COMBAT IN THIS BOOK, FOR IT IS A WORK OF FICTION. ANY REINACTMENTS OF CRIMES, COMBAT, OR HORROR LISTED ON THIS BOOK WILL LAND YOU IN SERIOUS JAILTIME OR DEATH!!! LAST BUT NOT LEAST: "FEAR THE BOOK!"
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reçu État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
-- Classement
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2Critiques
- Qualité de l’écriture
- Stabilité des mises à jour
- Développement de l’histoire
- Conception des personnages
- Contexte du monde
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Regrettably, the sole thing that is scary here is the grammar. It ruins everything the story is attempting to describe. It would give grammar Nazis nightmares. [Sorry if I sound mean, wrote this half asleep.] Chapter by chapter, the sentences jump from present tense to past tense. Pick one. It's easier to write in the past tense. The dialog and actions of the characters are robotic and cliched. The logic is also questionable. Things happen and something happens and I read with a WTF expression. Not a good WTF, but one of confusion and not understanding why this is happening. In any work of fiction, there is a logic behind the pacing and scenes, why A is followed by B. Lots of tell, not show. So an unknown narrator describes the boy's story. (They appear only in the beginning, therefore it is unknown whatever the author realizes that a narrator can be POV, meaning this first chapter has two POV) The boy is standing (on the street?) with a knife. (Why? To look spooky?) A couple was observing him. Then he ran away... He ran to an unusual school. (I hope it is unreal because there cannot be such a school with modern-day laws). He talked to a shady principal. (I hope the principal is a monster, otherwise, he is braindead) [So far, so good. The scene with the couple and the knife was a bit poorly written, but the weird school sounded interesting]. But then came the cliched scene with the jocks. As a... Fart. It felt like a fart. Stinky and unwelcomed. It's so overdone in all media that as a reader you can only barf. After that comes mostly robotic dialog and logic holes that are hard to follow. So a girl listens to a boy's crazy ramblings (death, murder, bla bla ) and then invites him to stay with her and grandma? Okay, she's also mental. Good to know. And then they were jumped by shadows in a cliched fashion... With an even more clichéd robot dialog... And chapter two... I gave up. Even writing all this down, all I perceive is a mess of poorly connected scenes and logic holes. Sorry, but no. It's all confusing. And not in a good way that makes the reader want to know more of what follows. The synopsis of the story promised me mental scars. All I got was a headache trying to get through this mess. Sorry author of the story for being so harsh, but in my opinion, the only thing that could save this story would be a rewrite. As the story is now, it barely counts as a rough draft.
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