Chapitre 20: Dargyn
ELRETH
The statement was shocking for its depth. She stared at him a minute and something niggled at the back of her mind. But she felt embarrassed. Aaryn was always supportive. But where was all this anger coming from? He wasn't old-fashioned about this stuff. He'd already had multiple relationships, and even more coupling.
"Are you… do you think I shouldn't have sex with anyone until we're walking the Flames and Smoke?" she said, her voice going high. It was an ancient moral line that she'd heard of. But she'd never thought—
"Of course not!"
"Oh, okay, Sorry. I thought… nevermind. I'm just not in the clearest head tonight. Look, Thank you, for the support. It means a lot," she said, brushing by the intensity in his gaze. She didn't understand it, and right then, she didn't think she wanted to dig too deep. "What do you know about Dargyn, though? Is he… I mean, I know he's a flirt, but he seems like a good male. Is he… gentle? Do you know?"
Aaryn's jaw dropped and his eyes flew wide, but he recovered quickly and closed his mouth with a snap. "You're seriously considering… Dargyn?"
"Like I said, not as a mate. Just… when he looked at me like that tonight I felt something I haven't felt before. And I wonder if that's what everyone's so excited about? I mean… it made me nervous, but like I said—"
"And like I said, if a male makes you scared, Elreth, he's not the right male."
"Dargyn doesn't make me nervous," she groaned. "Mating makes me nervous. Dargyn is… I could dominate him with my eyes closed."
"And that's the kind of male you want to give yourself to?" Aaryn seethed. She almost asked, but he'd always been over-protective of her, and she didn't want to give him an excuse to lecture her again.
"Maybe. The first time? I mean, it needs to be someone who'd be understanding and not… mock me."
"Elreth," he had both his hands in his hair. "Any male that would mock you at a time like that—"
"Please. Males mock everything."
"We do not!"
"Aaryn, you mocked me the first time I got my cycle! You mocked me that time I tried to kiss the guard! You mocked me when we found out that sheep had a crush on me."
"I was fifteen!"
She gave him a look. "It's not just you. You're just… always around for my big moments," she said dryly. "I've heard the way the males talk when they think we aren't listening. You guys mock everything."
"Elreth, if you hear nothing else out of my mouth tonight, you hear me on this: I would never, ever mock you in that… for that… I admire your willingness to be different. To not be pressured. That's why I'm so shocked that you're saying these things. It's not like you!" She was about to argue, but he shook his head. "No, you listen to me." He leaned forward over the table and locked eyes with her. "No male who would mock, or even tease when you give the signals, deserves to receive them. If you ever… don't ever give yourself to a male who would do that to you. Or who would scare you. Or who would be… selfish about it."
"Selfish?"
"In the mating."
"How can you be selfish in mating?"
Aaryn closed his eyes. "I'll… I'll explain later. Just trust me, it's very possible. And you deserve better than that. So, just… don't put up with that, okay?"
"But how would I know?"
"Know what?"
"Know if he's going to be selfish if you don't tell me how they can?"
Aaryn dropped his face in his hands. "I thought your Mom explained how this all works."
"I know how it works, Aaryn. I'm not an idiot. I just… what you're talking about sounds like something… I mean I don't know. I always shut my parents down when they try to talk to me too much about that stuff because it's just creepy listening to them. They're old."
She shuddered, and Aaryn almost smiled. Almost.
"Ask your mom. Or even better, ask your dad. I gather it's not a problem he suffers," Aaryn said dryly.
"How would you know?" Elreth asked, horrified.
He gave her a flat look. "Because females like your mother don't look at their mates the way your mother looks at your father if the male is selfish. Trust me, Elreth, you nailed it when you said you want what they have."
Elreth shuddered again, then she looked thoughtful. "So… Dargyn?"
"What about Dargyn?" he spat through his teeth.
"Is he… selfish?"'
"I have no idea," Aaryn seethed.
"Have you heard him mock or be cruel about his… other times?"
Aaryn didn't take his eyes off her, but it took him a moment to answer. "No," he said finally.
"Well, that's a good sign right?"
"A good sign of what?"
"That he might be a good choice for my first time. I definitely don't want someone who would just walk away. It seems like—"
"This conversation is over," Aaryn spat, standing so quickly his chair fell over.
"What? What's wrong?"
"What's wrong is that you're treating yourself like a… a commodity. Something to be sold on the market, or something. I don't know."
"But you've coupled lots of times!"
"Because I wanted to! Because I felt like it! And honestly, most of them weren't that great in the end, but it doesn't matter, Elreth—I never did what you're talking about. I never went there with someone because I felt like I had to. Or because I felt like there was something wrong with me if I didn't. That's just wrong. And I refuse to be a part of you thinking that way about yourself." He picked the chair up and shoved it back under the table so hard, the back of it slammed against the tabletop and it almost toppled again.
"So I should wait?!"
"Yes!"
"Even though you didn't, I should?"
"Yes!"
"Oh great, thanks, Aaryn. Nice to see the double-standards are alive and well in you."
"Are you kidding me?" He gaped at her.
"No!" she said her anger rising. "I'm just being honest with you and you're treating me like I'm dumb, or wrong, or… or something and this is a big deal and I don't think you should be mad at me about it." Then she frowned. "Why are you angry?"
"Because you're being dumb and wrong," he snapped.
Her mouth dropped open, but Aaryn turned on his heel and started for the door muttering, "Enjoy your time with Dargyn."
Cadeaux
-- Cadeau
reçu État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
-- Classement
Power Stone 
-- Power
stone