"And what do we get? Shows that should've run at the same time at the same time zone, transcending borders, instead get delayed for a few hours… to even a whole season. And in an internet-savvy era, people would find ways to watch those shows ahead of those… dinosaur networks."
Thus ends Laurent the bartender's explanation of why Canadian broadcast television can be a wasteland despite the country's close proximity to the United States.
And Lavian the Canadian woman understands everything he said to heart.
He then consoles her, "Well, you've said you decided to settle down here to discover your lost childhood, right? I've got the perfect drink for you to kick-start that goal of yours."
Doing his usual bartender moves, Laurent grabs a pitcher each of two drinks he prepared beforehand, pours one half of one drink and one half of another drink into the cocktail shaker along with some ice, and shakes the shaker for fifteen seconds before he pours the resultant drink into a tall glass that has already been garnished with a lemon wedge and a single tea leaf.
"Here you go, Miss Lavian. The Arnold Palmer, named after the famous golfer."
She quickly takes a sip and really likes the taste.
"Wow! This is like… a simple but effective combination of two childhood drinks! Thank you!"
"Consider this my welcome gift to you."
After she's done with the drink, we three then go ahead with introducing her to the other employees.
Simone, Sabrina Misora, Angeli, Arcadia, and Stephanie, the five waitresses, all welcome the new face.
Arcadia, who is the newest employee (she was drafted just a month before we rescued Aurora), takes the initiative.
"Oh, hi. Lavian, isn't it?"
Well, she still has to get used to the motions here, but she's getting there.
One brief mandatory "introduce yourself" sequence later…
"Well, it'll be the luck of the draw on who will get to serve you tonight. And I don't mean…"
Lavian concurs, "Yes, I know, Arcadia. This is a family-friendly establishment."
"Anyway, we five look forward to you having a great time here! Later!"
Next up is the barback, Dax.
He has this sour look on this face, but he manages to clear most of it up when he first sets his sights on Lavian.
The two exchange introductions as normal, then Dax cuts to the chase.
"Well, Miss Lavian, I guess it's better to confess and let it all out than to keep it hidden and accumulate stress as a result. Ready to hear it all? It may take long.
"I've visited a high school reunion just recently just to know how my old classmates were doing, but when I saw the opinions of many of them about the elections, I was… I… I just couldn't explain my anger.
"I was so dismayed. What they said was mostly unforgiving and elitist. Their thoughts and ideologies were clouded with 'all for the greater good'; but in reality, they were so self-absorbed and arrogant, they just aren't willing to accept the inevitable results. They're also tolerating inane things such as boycotting the government – hello, migration ideas! – rather than help and criticize if every they did something wrong. In their eyes, the majority will vote for the number one candidate because they are dumb and cannot think for themselves, but could they at least consider that those in the majority are seeing what they don't see?
"They even yap stuff like 'If radical love is love even if were continually hurt, I wish we still have enough strength to heal, rise, and love again. We must not let our hearts be enshrouded by darkness again.' Yeah, right. What came out of their lips didn't match the feelings inside them. Revolution is what they truly want. Do they have enough weapons if ever civil war breaks out? Maybe they would all end up as cannon fodder like those conscripts fighting a senseless war somewhere in eastern Europe. And I'm saying that as someone who doesn't like guns.
"In the end, the ad they wanted to drill into my head that is immune to all sorts of gullibility is really not that elegant. Screw them all!"
Laurent approaches him and tells him…
"It's good that you've said what you've wanted to say, but should you tire yourself out doing that? Look, we're not yet open, and you feel kind of bushed. Here, have a pick-me-up."
He offers the barback the same drink he gave Lavian – the Arnold Palmer – and the latter graciously accepts it.
"Thanks, bud. I know you can be dependable, as expected of a bartender like you."
"That's just nothing. Now then, we still have stuff to arrange."
"Yes, sir!"
And Dax then faces the Canadian with a renewed resolve.
"I hope you have a smoking good time here, miss."
"Yeah, thanks."
Up next on the "she must meet" list is Felicia the head cook.
But as Felicia's busy with commandeering the entire kitchen in preparation for another busy evening, she and Lavian just exchange introductions before they part ways, but not until the former whispers the following to the later…
"I'll whip something awesome, just for you. If you like it, I'll place it in the menu."
Lavian just nods in total agreement.
And finally, she will get to meet Zach the owner.
Still rocking his cowboy hat, he greets her good evening before introducing himself, and the Canadian girl introduces herself in return.
Zach expounds, "To be honest, I've never met a full-blooded Canadian myself in my entire life. Though I am a fan of several Canadian actors. Ryan Reynolds, Mike Myers, Jim Carrey, Keanu Reeves, the late Leslie Nielsen..."
"Well, all those actors you've mentioned have a great sense of humor. I also kind of like them, too."
"Great! We're both on the same frequency, girlie! And for that, I'll let you wear my hat for this night only."
"But… won't your scent linger on my hair?"
"Not to worry. Since it's my favorite hat, I obviously want to take care of it as much as I can to ensure its longevity. Everyday, before I head off to work, my hat goes on a maintenance routine so that it looks and smells great every time. So rest assured, Miss Lavian."
"Thank you!"
Wow, we never knew our boss can be so serious about his hat.
Oh well, since he's the owner of a country bar, he basically is the representation, the very soul of it.
Now that we've introduced our new Canadian neighbor to practically everyone in this bar, we're now preparing ourselves for tonight's performance.
Leigh calmly instructs Aurora, "While we're preparing backstage, keep Lavian entertained, OK?"
Aurora gives the obvious answer, "OK!"
***
While Fred and Leigh are backstage, it's my obligation now to keep this Canadian beauty occupied.
Being at the front of the stage can be lonely at times, anyway.
The feeling I have right now can be best described as… exhilarating.
"Hey, Aurora. This is between you and me, OK?"
"OK. But why not confess it to Fred and Leigh, too?"
"They'll learn of it soon enough. Now then… I wanted to move here to Atlanta for one more reason."
"Other than pursuing your career and your lost childhood?"
"Exactly. I wanted… to escape from a man who unironically and unnecessarily calls me a shrew who needs to be tamed by him. That creep!"
"OK, tell me more about it."
***
It all started a year before I moved here.
While Metro Vancouver in general has strict laws against all kinds of harassment, some creeps are still unfazed by them. It's as if they are fueled by their inner desires that definitely went too far.
I was out for a leisurely walk on the street when a man suddenly whistled at me, noticing the outfit I wore.
For your information, what I wore at that time was a white long coat on top of a gray shirt and black pencil skirt.
It was not really revealing, but I guess… there are some turn-ons.
He continued on whistling and whistling.
I tried to avoid him in any way I could, but he still persisted.
Naturally, I wanted to get rid of him, so I diverted my steps to a place where there were many people.
The closest place to where I was was Don Roberts Park, down by Fraser River.
Good thing there were many people who wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet of the riverside.
But the audacity of that creep!
He flashed me his phone with a picture of a woman who looked very much like me, wearing a skin-tight "office lady" outfit and doing a salacious pose, while I was chilling on a bench.
And then… I realized.
At that time, I learned that another woman who was from my hometown, Coquitlam, who got into porn and even moved to San Fernando Valley, California, for it… looked much like me.
She was primarily featured in those kinds of videos starring "office ladies" getting into "it".
But she wasn't even of Scandinavian stock like me.
Then she quit eight months later and moved back to Coquitlam.
And thus...
***
"You're being followed by that creep?" Aurora asks. "All the way here to Atlanta?!"
"Exactly," Lavian resigns. "And like I've said, Fred and Leigh will learn the truth soon enough, and I won't mind it, because they will fully understand the same way you do."
Aurora just rests her right hand on top of Lavian's, while assuring her...
"Whatever you're going through… one thing's for sure… we three will have your back."
"Thank you."
Performance time then begins for Brave Ad 65.
Both Aurora and Lavian just listen attentively to the duo's brand new song, "Yoobadabi (Scatting of the 16 Million)".
"Eyy! Yoobadabi, yoobadabi, yoobadabi, doo
"Yoobadabi, yoobadabi, yoobadabi, doo
"Pom-pom-pom-pom.
"Yoobadabi, yoobadabi, yoobadabi, doo
"Yoobadabi, yoobadabi, yoobadabi, doo
"Pom-pom-pom-pom."
While the two are performing, Aurora tells the Swedish-Canadian girl…
"By the way, I also contributed to their song. It sure feels nice to have done something for them."
"Wow, that's awesome."
And once that song finishes, Brave Ad 65 then plays a cover of "Keep Living in a Make-believe World Online" by Boy Canton T.
Their set list for tonight, by the way, is the usual healthy mix of originals and covers.
While the performance is still ongoing, Arcadia, one of the five waitresses, gives both girls the dish Felicia promises to cook as a provisional item on the menu.
What the two girls see are two bowls of a stew containing elbow macaroni, sliced hotdogs, corn, and stewed tomatoes.
Aurora basically know what the dish is, judging from those ingredients.
"It's Hoover stew!"
Arcadia reacts, "Wow. You recognized it in a heartbeat."
"That's because my family used to eat this whenever we're short on money."
"As did many others during the Great Depression."
Lavian cuts in, "Please… tell me more about it."
Arcadia wholeheartedly dishes out her own history lesson.
"It was the year 1929. The stock market crashed, and the economy was sent into a decade-long downward spiral.
"People were left with little money due to unemployment, and families were forced to live in shantytowns.
"At that time, President Herbert Hoover was the favorite scapegoat of many impoverished Americans due to his inability to turn things around for them.
"Many things that were improvised out of lack of money to buy things were named after the beleaguered president. Newspapers that were improvised as blankets were called Hoover blankets, empty pockets that were turned inside out were called Hoover flags, shantytowns were called Hoovervilles, cardboard used to fill in a pair of shoes was called Hoover leather, and cars that were driven by horses instead of engines which were removed beforehand were called Hoover wagons.
"And what you're eating right now is called the Hoover stew. The four basic ingredients came cheap during the Great Depression, and thus they provided nutrition for many families."
The two girls quickly dig into the stew; and once they finish their own bowls, they each give their honest criticisms.
Lavian takes the initiative.
"Well, the hotdogs, macaroni, and corn are alright, but there needs to be a richer tomato flavor. What I tasted out of the stew's soup is… how should I put it… it's just tomato-flavored water."
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