Chapitre 1: Got Reincarnated, But I Didn't Even See Heaven
"Hey"
"HEY!"
"WAKE THE HELL UP"
"Ughhhh...Where am I?"
"You in our camp. We found you passed out at the side of the road and took you to our camp."
"Why did you help me? I don't got a single dime on me"
"We couldn't just let a young man like yourself die now could we?"
My eyes started to focus a bit more. The man talking to me was a middle aged man, tanned, bald, and had leather armor. Taking a look around, it seemed like I was just in a simple tent. I got up with no problems at all.
"Well I see your better now. I'll lead you to get some breakfast. You must be pretty hungry right?", the man said politely.
"Thanks...uh, what's your name?"
"Name's otto. We go by codename around here", he said as we walked out of the tent.
"By the way, where are we? And why do you keep saying we?"
"Well lucky for you! You're in the most notorious bandit camp in all of the kingdom!", Otto said with glee as we reached the outside of the tent.
What met me was quite the horrifying sight. A bunch of bald, tan men were gambling, eating, fighting, and talking. There were also some bandits who looked more akin to human beasts. The thing that made me double back was the cage of little girls. They had collars, and somehow had animal features attached to them.
That's when it finally hit me. The strange clothes, setting, and the little girls. I angrily turned to Otto and grabbed him by the shoulder.
"Y-You bastard! I now realize your true evil intentions!"
"Yeah we're bandits. We kill, pillage and rape. Ya got a problem with that?", Otto said getting aggravated.
"You kidnapped me into one of those furry roleplay campaigns didn't you! I already said I wasn't going to join last year!"
"Uh. Buddy are you ok?" Otto asked, completely taken off guard. He looked as if I grew another head.
"Look here. I'm sorry, but I just can't join your cult this year. I've been too busy with my boxing career to care!"
"HEY", said a random woman.
"What's with all that noise!", she said angrily.
"I-I'm sorry b-boss. The guy we found finally woke up! He might've damaged his brain severely though", Otto responded.
The Boss seemed like a giant compared to the other bandits. She had an open, sleeveless coat with a black bra. She had normal brown pants and boots. Like all the other bandits, she was also tan. Overall, a 7/10.
She started to inspect me. I would've been absolutely flattered, if it didn't look like she was starting more at my ass than my front. Strong big woman who is the leader of a bandit group? Now that's just asking to make yourself her pet.
"So, you done looking you broad?" wait, I said that without thinking.
"Well you certainly have some bite in ya. Anyways I only picked ya up cus you seem to hold some potential, so tell me your gift before I kill ya", she ordered dangerously.
This time she actually seemed very serious. I could feel her waiting enthusiastically to cut me down. I could probably beat her in a fair fight without weapons, but I obviously don't have that luxury. What in the world is a gift anyways!
Fortunately, as I thought this something popped up in front of me. It was a giant wheel with multiple names on it. I closely started to look at said names. Of course I had to do this quickly because the bandit boss was getting impatient.
To my shock all of these names were names of the stands from JoJo's. Am I actually in another world!? But I have no Idea how I could've died! Dammit, I don't have time for this! How am I gonna use this thing anyways!?
The wheel started to rapidly spin suddenly. Gruadly it started to slow down and down. Slowly passing by name after name.
"Are ya gonna show me, or what!?", she yelled impatiently.
My heart dropped in a moment's notice. The wheel finally landed on one name.
"So… You really want to know my gift huh?", I said calmly.
"Of course I do, you dick head! Stop wasting my time before I murder you!", she said infuriated.
"S-so you're saying if I show my gift… you won't kill me?"
This time she really was about to kill me. Otto had to quickly grab her and calm her down.
"Look buddy. Just show me ya damn gift already, or I'll kill you if you take a second longer!", she said with finality.
"But I refuse! One of the things I, Marklenkuinshinten Carlsen, like the most is to find someone who thinks they're hot shit, and say 'No' right to their faces!", I yelled righteously.
This time, she already had a sword above her head ready to skewer me. Naturally, I wouldn't act so cocky, if it wasn't for the stand I got.
"Heaven's Door!"
She instantly collapsed, as her face peeled back in a number of pages.
"W-what did you do to me!? Why can't I move!", she was startled.
Without missing a beat, Otto lunged at me too! Heaven's Door easily intercepted him. That's when all the other bandits realized what was going on. Soon enough, all of them were approaching me.
It was a total defeat on their part. None of them could reach me though. And the smart guys who wanted to shoot me with arrows stopped when I used their buddies as shields. Human shields are clearly the best defense.
After disabling all of them, naturally I did the first thing that popped up in my mind. I started reading all their crap. After an hour of reading all of their life stories, I learned a lot about this world.
I definitely needed more context to understand some things, but there's one thing I'm certain of. This world is screwed along with everyone in it. I know I should appreciate life more, but this world is literally built on the misery of sanity.
Ok, I'll just ignore all of the nobles and stick with these bandits. These bandits are definitely safer than the outside world. This world valued religion too much, and religion valued love too much. It was basically a crappy reverse harem orgy mixed with fantasy.
Taking advantage of Heaven's Door, I quickly wrote in all their minds that I'm a part of them using a feather and ink that I found in a tent. Being the narcissistic bastard that I am, I also wrote that they all love me and think I'm the best guy ever. I also took out any pages about me.
Soon, they all started to wake up.
"Hey guys! I'm glad you all woke up!", I said cheerfully.
They all started to greet me friendly, although a bit confused. Surprisingly they all started to go back to their usual routine. Well I should probably start training in this world. This world had a standard leveling that was dominated by nobility because they started off with gifts. The bandit boss was probably asking me what my gift was, so she could capture me and know how to contain me.
Anyways, I pulled out my stats. I only had to think about it for it to pop up. The average stats of a farmer was 10, and mine was near 20. Looks like all those years of boxing paid off! Not that they never didn't.
As I was heading towards the training area, I heard a small shout. It came from the cages that they put the little girls in. I looked towards the girl that was trying to gain my attention. She was a blondie with a ripped up dress.
"Hey! Are you a part of the holy knights they sent to rescue me? They should come at any moment now", she asked.
That's when I started to panic. The holy knights!?!? What kind of people are these bandits kidnapping?! Crap I have to get out of here!
"KILL THEM ALL!!!", I heard a voice yell.
It was those damn holy knights! Just like me, everyone else started to immediately freak out. What commenced was nothing but an absolute slaughter. These guys were too efficient in killing!
A guy suddenly appeared in front of me brandishing a sword. I knew in that instant that I would die. Made in Heaven could never compete with that speed! G-grandma? Is that you I see on the other side of the light?
"Stop! That man is another noble who was kidnapped by these bandits!", I heard the girl from earlier scream. Fortunately, the knight stopped in his tracks. Soon enough, all the knights gathered around the now free girl.
"Lady Domestica, we await your arrival back into the kingdom!", they yelled in unison.
"Why yes! I'm also bringing back this man, for he has helped me too!", she declared.
Wait… is she talking about me? Yeah there's no way I'm being a part of some 30 sausage party.
"I'm sorry missy, but I'm not going to be apart of your sex cult!", I said harshly.
That's the day where I was beat up and forcefully taken by 4 men. In an instant I was tied down and taken into a carriage. The little bi-lady joined me after she got dressed in brand new clothes.
She started to bombard me with a bunch of questions about Heaven's Door. The worst part was that I couldn't make her shut up with Heaven's Door because of the holy knights surrounding us.
And this is how I started my adventure of pure bull crap, stands, and pure insanity...
L’AVIS DES CRÉATEURS 
Daoist933959
Daoist933959 This story isn't going to be too serious. It's just going to be mostly random. Also, I'm actually using a wheel for the stand he get's so it's going to be completely random :/
État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
-- Classement
Power Stone 
-- Power
stone