Chapitre 6: Chapter 6
The time finally came when my suspension was over. I turned in all of my homework to my classes, and I just went to school as normal. As I walked through the hallways, it was very clear that everyone was ignoring me, just trying not to look at me. I sighed. I didn't want this to happen, I thought. This isn't good. I looked down, making sure that I wouldn't trip over or run into someone.
But then I heard a soft voice. "Ch-Chris?"
I looked up, and there stood Ashley. She smiled, and that smile held so many emotions within it: relief, sadness, happiness, fear-all of them contained within one smile. Then she stepped forward and hugged me, seemingly ignorant of all of the people around us.
As she held me, I could hear people in the school hallways start to whisper around us, and as they whispered, some of their words reached my ears.
"Isn't that the guy who beat up Mark?"
"Yeah...I heard that he almost killed him."
"Isn't that the girl Mark was bullying? And she's hugging him...are they together?"
"I don't think he's in the wrong..."
All that and more swirled in my ears, making my head hurt. I looked at Ashley, smiling to myself, and I hugged her back. We slowly let go of each other, and we stared into each other's eyes. I spoke first, breaking the silence. "We should go to our class," I said gently.
"Ah! That's right," she said, and she smiled up at me. "I was just..." Tears started to form in her eyes, and she said, "I was just really happy that you're back."
My eyes widened, and I felt something in my chest. I wasn't sure what it was, but I had to push the feeling down. "Well...thank you for telling me that," I said, smiling at her again.
"You're welcome," she said, smiling back. And together, we walked to our class.
Now, the rest of the day went by surprisingly well. I expected multiple people to avoid me, but there were several who actually walked up to me and thanked me for what I had done. Turns out, they had been pretty severely bullied by Mark, and they were never able to stand up to him. Of course, I still had some mixed feelings about it, but I just responded with a "You're welcome." The majority of the people avoided me, as they thought that I would take my anger out on them. But they had nothing to worry about, because I wasn't going to rule them through fear and submission. I just wanted to live my life, and I had reacted the way I had just because he had reacted first.
I was kind of dreading my meeting with Dick and Abigail, but I knew that I had to talk to them eventually. And I got that chance during lunch.
Ashley and I were walking together, trays in our hands. I couldn't help but notice that there was even less food on Ashley's plate, even less than the last time I had seen her eating, and I was about to ask her about it when I saw Abigail and Dick. I swallowed, and I said, "Ashley."
She turned to me, her face in an expression of questioning. "Yes, Chris?" Then she looked in the way that I was looking, and she realized what I was trying to say. "Oh." Her voice got small. "Well, you have to talk to them."
"I know," I said. "But...I want you to come with me."
She seemed surprised, then she gave me a small smile. "Okay," she said softly. We both walked over to the two, and we sat down at the table. Ashley and Dick looked up at us, and they both looked at each other. I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything for a second. Ashley spoke up, however. "Hi," she said, smiling at them. "How have you been?"
"I've been good, Ashley," Abigail said, smiling at her. "How about you?"
"I've..." She trailed off, as if thinking about what to say, then she said, "I've been really tired lately." That made me stiffen. I wondered if her being tired had to do with the bruises on my body. Ashley didn't seem to notice anything, and she said, "How about you, Richard?"
"I've been pretty tired, too," he said, giving her a tired smile. "I've been worrying about a lot of things." I got the feeling that he was talking about me when he said that, and that made me start to worry a little bit. Was he considering distancing from me? He turned to me, his face a mask. "Is something wrong, Chris?"
"Well..." I took in a deep breath, then I let it out slowly. "What do you think of me?"
There was a bit of silence at the table, and then Abigail broke the silence. "Well, what do you mean by that, Chris?" she asked, her head kind of tilted. I felt like she knew what I was talking about, and I said, "Well...you saw me beat a kid within inches of death, and I told both of you that I wasn't someone to hang out with. That should have given you evidence to not hang out with me, yet you're still here. Why are you still here?"
They both looked at each other, then they looked back at me. Dick spoke: "Chris, just because you beat up a kid very close to death doesn't mean that we don't think of you as a friend." My eyes widened, and he continued talking. "I mean...I won't be afraid to admit that what happened was really shocking and that it was something that I didn't think that you were capable of, but it won't affect our relationship that much. Everyone has their own issues that they have to deal with, and as friends, we are supposed to help them out with those issues. So...even though you almost killed someone, I'll still be your friend." He smiled. "So don't think we'll push you away."
I teared up a little bit. "You sure have a way with words, Dick," I said, wiping them. I chuckled, relieved.
"Silly," Abigail said, a grin on her face. "Although..." She walked over to me and slapped me. I held my face in pain, and I said, "What was that for?" I asked, surprise in my voice. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Ashley had flinched when I had gotten slapped, and there was a red mark on her cheek.
"That was for not listening to me when I told you not to get mad," she said. Then she hugged me. "But you gave him what he deserved." She let go and smiled at me. "Honestly, he's been bullying people for years. It's about time someone finally stood up to him and beat him up."
And there it was again. The praise for beating up somebody to the point of where he almost died. I looked at Abigail, and she was smiling at me. She didn't even stop to wonder what effect that it would have on me, and I wondered if she even thought about it at all. Then Dick spoke up. "Let's move from that," he said, and I turned to look at him. He smiled up at me. "It's all in the past now. Welcome back, Chris."
I smiled, in spite of myself. "It feels good to be back." In the back of my head, something said, Something's up. He seemed to read your mind.
I ignored it, and I said, "So…I wonder what they served us today."
The end of the school day, I stood outside of the school, waiting for Ashley. As she came down the stairs, she saw me waiting, and she waved at me, walking towards me. "Hi, Chris," she said, a small smile on her face. "Why...why were you waiting for me?"
"Well...there's something that I've been meaning to tell you," I said, looking down at the floor and back up at her repeatedly.
"Yes?" she asked me, her smile still there.
"Just…are you okay?" I asked, fully looking her in the eye.
She froze for a moment, the smile gone, and she asked, "Why?"
I didn't plan this far ahead, so I tried to think of things to say. "It's just…you've been eating a lot less lately, and I mean a lot less than before. You look really tired, and it seems that you can barely stay awake in your classes. And then…" I stopped there. I didn't know if I should tell her about the bruises and cuts. As I pondered whether to tell her or not, I heard her speak.
"Thank you for caring for me, Chris," she said, and she was smiling again. "But I'm okay. Really. I just haven't been that hungry, so that's why I haven't been eating as much. And I just haven't really been sleeping well at night. But it'll get better, I promise you."
I couldn't help but think that the smile on her face looked fake, looked forced. But I found myself saying, "Oh. Okay, then. Well…I just wanted to check. I was kind of worried about you."
"There's no need," she said, smiling at me. "Thank you, though."
"Well…bye," I said, waving at her. "I'll see you tomorrow."
She gave me a small wave. "I'll see you tomorrow, Chris."
I turned and walked away, then I stopped and turned. "Ashley?"
She looked at me. "Yes?"
"If you ever need someone to talk to…I'm here, okay?"
The words came out of my mouth before I even realized I was saying them. But as soon as I said them, I knew that it was the right thing to say. She smiled, and she said, "Thanks." Then she turned and walked away.
I walked to my car (yes, I'm driving), and I got inside, closing the door behind me. I put my head onto the top of the steering wheel, and I sighed. "What's going on, Ashley?" I muttered to myself. "This isn't like you…" I lifted my head off of the wheel and started up the car, putting on my seatbelt. I started up the car and drove home, still pondering this.
The days passed, and nothing happened. Nothing bad happened at all. It was just…normal. For the most part, the excitement of the fight between Mark and me had died out, and most people ignored me (like usual). There was still the occasional kid who would come up to me and thank me for what I did, and I automatically responded with, "You're welcome," knowing that no one would really understand what I was going through, even if I talked to them about it.
Well, at least that's what I thought.
One day, about a month after the fight, I came home, and there was my Mom. I was surprised, as she was normally not home this early, and I set down my bag. "Hey, Mom," I said, and I walked over to her and hugged her. "Why…how are you home this early?"
"I was able to get off early," she said, letting go of me and smiling. "And besides, I wanted to spend some more time with you."
Something seemed a bit off about that statement, but I shrugged it off, thinking that it wasn't that important. "Okay," I said, and I smiled. "Well, what do you want to do?"
"I want to talk with you," she said. She gestured to the couch, and we both sat down, right next to each other. She spoke first. "How has school been?"
"It's been good," I said, smiling. "I've been keeping up with all of my classes."
"And how are you friends?" she asked.
I had an answer for this already. "They're all good," I said, and I smiled in spite of myself. "We all have a lot of fun together."
She chuckled, and she said, "And how are you, Chris?"
I stopped laughing, and I thought about that for a second. "To be honest, I'm not sure, Mom," I said after a while. "Something's been on my mind for a while."
She didn't say anything, but she listened silently. I continued: "The fight between Mark and me…the one that got me suspended for a week…everyone who I have talked to, including my friends, believes that I did the right thing. The thing is…I almost killed him. I should have been expelled, and the only reason why I wasn't was because I had acted in self-defense. He was expelled after being treated at the hospital…while I got to stay. And whenever someone thanks me or congratulates me for what I did, it just makes me feel conflicted inside. I…don't understand why I feel like this."
My Mom was silent for a bit, and for a moment, I wondered what she would say to me. Then she said, "Honey, thank you for telling me all of this. And my answer to you is that you feel that way because inherently, it is wrong. There should be no one telling you that it is okay for you to beat someone up to the point of death. You're right to feel the way that you are. But what you did, it made other people look up to you, look to you as their savior."
"But I'm not," I said, looking at her. "Why would they-?"
"It's because they had no courage to stand up for themselves," she said simply, in a tone that told me not to interrupt her. "My guess is that they were bullied by this Mark boy, who you fought with. With what you did, you showed them what it is like to stand up for yourself, and that has inspired them. You, regardless of the morality of it or not, are a role model to them, a model of courage and strength. I'm proud of you for standing up to him, but not for almost beating him to death." She stopped and took a deep breath. "You are my son," she said, putting a hand on my face and looking into my eyes. "And I care about you so much. And I know that I won't be there with you for all of your life, so that is why right now, it is important that you tell me what is going on so that I can help you in any way that I can."
I smiled, putting my hand into hers. "I know, Mom," I said. "Thank you…thank you for being here with me."
She breathed in sharply. I realized what that meant, and I said, "That's not what I meant, Mom! I'm sorry, I didn't-"
"It's okay," she said, breathing out slowly and deeply. "It's just thinking about him...it's hard sometimes, okay Chris? I hope that you find somebody that will not leave or make you leave. Because I don't want you to go through what I'm going through right now."
She sounded sad, and there was also some hope inside of her voice. "I will, Mom," I said, and I pulled her closer to me. "I will make sure to find someone who I'll never leave." For some reason, my mind was filled with thoughts of Ashley, and I said, "I don't know why, Mom, but I keep thinking of this person."
She looked at me, curious. "Oh? Who is it?"
I looked away from her, a bit embarrassed. "It's…a girl…" I muttered.
She seemed to be very happy, and she said, "Do you love her?"
Immediately, I felt my face flare up, and I kept my face turned away from her. "N-no!" I said, my voice higher than normal. "I don't love her."
My mom giggled, and she said, "You're so cute when you're flustered." I turned to look at her, my face burning. "It's not funny," I complained, and I covered my face. "It's not funny at all."
"I know," she said, but she had a smile on her face. "I hope that this person is the one for you. You should bring her to meet me sometime."
"Okay," I said, although my face still burned. "I will." I smiled at her, and I said, "Thanks, mom."
État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
-- Classement
Power Stone 
-- Power
stone