Rwby unlimited belongings [ discontinued]

Okay, I'm having a hard time guessing who the MC is because in the first 8 chapters, hardly any of it talks about him. Instead, you do flashbacks with the OC going through an almost exact copy of the original RWBY plot start taking up 75% of the story. The OC should be the MC because she has more screen time with more interaction with the plot and team RWBY. I mean how can the MC and OC exist with no butterfly effects? It's almost like you want them to exist but not exist at the same time. At this point, it should be a copy and paste of the original story with less than 2% difference from its original. For example, you should have made Jaune fail and be kicked out to even out the teems... instead you make it seem like he's being shown special treatment even tho he is too ignorant and weak to be there.... so instead of changing regulations for the school 4 man team to be a 5 man team. it would be more reasonable and logical for Jaune to be removed.

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Yo Author! try adding some emotions to the Characters, it helps with them not sounding like robots than actual ones. If you could fix that, the book would get better. Example: As ruby saw the 76 and the huntress she exclaimed with excitement "You're a Huntress! And you're a Hero!"It's not the best but it's just an example lol.

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Try using something to fix your sentences. .

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Honest review Disappointed honestly The mc has the power to change into diffrent people and also bring the character cards he has to life by creating a backstory Seems interesting until there’s 6 diffrent characters that hold no importance to the story at all Mc feels fake Conversations are extremely dull and the story follows cannon without any differences

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