Chapitre 66: Chapter 66: Hello, Mr. Thin Ice
The days after Team 7 returned to the village passed uneventfully. Besides his regular training, Naruto spent his time teasing the Hyūga clan and occasionally sneaking in a date with Hinata.
He'd originally planned to train with her too, but Kurenai-sensei said their team still hadn't completed enough missions. So, they had to focus on lower-ranked tasks for the time being, and no one was allowed to leave without permission.
After hearing that, Naruto dropped the idea of farming more missions.
It's also worth noting that the Third Hokage had since banned Naruto from issuing missions to himself or using missions as an excuse to send Konoha shinobi out of the village. He'd even outlawed Naruto's favorite trick—using Shadow Clones to farm missions.
Though Naruto wasn't too bothered about the mission ban, he was relieved to no longer be forcefully sent out of the village.
Meanwhile, Sakura followed Kakashi's advice and started studying medical ninjutsu at Konoha Hospital.
As for Sasuke, he was still obsessively training with Fire Style techniques. He had also reached the point in his novel where Xiao Yan had advanced to the Dou Huang level, which only fueled his passion for mastering the Flame Technique. Day after day, he'd ask Naruto and Kakashi if there were any other colors of fire in their world.
Kakashi could only sigh, feeling like there was no saving this kid.
Naruto? He simply gave Sasuke the middle finger as a sign of respect.
Desperate to pull Sasuke back from the brink of novel-induced madness, Naruto even got Uzumaki Stark to enchant the Executioner's Blade for him...
"There, it's done."
"Sasuke, now this is a true Executioner's Blade."
Naruto tossed the newly enchanted sword onto the ground in front of Sasuke, and the weight of it cracked the surface beneath it. The heaviness alone made it clear this weapon was no joke.
Uzumaki Stark had not only reinforced the blade with some Netherworld alloy but also added the abilities Execution and Life Drain. Due to the world's natural laws, Life Drain had morphed into chakra restoration and mild healing abilities.
Now, the Executioner's Blade not only dealt double critical damage to the neck but also had some of the chakra-absorbing properties of the Samehada.
"It's the Xuan Heavy Ruler," Sasuke corrected, lovingly caressing the weapon, his eyes shining with admiration. This sight made Sakura a little jealous.
Pulling the sword from the ground, Sasuke struggled a bit to swing it a few times, feeling the doubled weight compared to before. It was exactly what he imagined the Xuan Heavy Ruler should feel like.
"Perfect... HAHAHAHAHA!"
With a maniacal laugh, Sasuke swung the sword around, clutching his head with one hand in a classic Uchiha dramatic moment.
Naruto stared at him, utterly speechless.
It wasn't the crazed laughing that bothered Naruto—he'd gotten used to that by now. It was...
This kid had even ditched his spiky hair for a traditional, slicked-back ponytail, with a single strand of hair falling stylishly over his forehead.
It had a certain flair, no doubt.
Even Kurama had given his approval of Sasuke's new look.
All Sasuke needed now was a black robe, and he'd perfectly cosplay Xiao Yan...
This is exhausting...
Naruto couldn't help but wonder how Itachi would react when he saw his brother like this.
Whatever. I can't even deal with it anymore.
Just then, Kakashi leaped down from the treetops and addressed the three of them.
"Hey, good morning, everyone."
"I've already submitted your names for the Chūnin Exams."
"The written test starts tomorrow."
Glancing at the still-laughing Sasuke, Kakashi couldn't help but quip, "Mr. Thin Ice, stop laughing."
Sasuke's laughter died abruptly the moment he heard the nickname "Mr. Thin Ice." His body froze, and his toes curled inside his sandals with shame.
Damn it! How does Kakashi know that nickname too?!
Ever since the three squads had eaten together at the Konoha BBQ joint, the entire village had heard Tenten talking about him.
At first, the whole thing hadn't spiraled out of control.
But that night, after the meal, Kiba had shouted, "Hey, Mr. Thin Ice!" at Sasuke as a joke...
And from there, the nickname spread like wildfire through the village.
Now, every time Sasuke walked through the streets, anyone who recognized him would greet him with a, "What's up, Mr. Thin Ice?"
Even the guards at the Hokage Tower had started calling him that...
And to top it all off, even Akamaru and Kakashi's ninken, Pakkun, barked the nickname!
By now, every time Sasuke heard "Mr. Thin Ice," his sense of shame reached critical levels.
He had even considered leaving the village because of it.
The only person who hadn't called him "Mr. Thin Ice" was Sakura...
"Ku-ku-ku..."
Naruto turned his back to them, his shoulders trembling uncontrollably as he stifled his laughter.
"HAHAHA!"
"Mr. Thin Ice, what are you doing just standing there?"
"Let's go check out the... Chūnin Exam venue."
Sasuke's face darkened as he gripped his Xuan Heavy Ruler tightly.
Beside him, Sakura clenched her fists and shouted at Naruto, "That's enough!"
"Why is everyone calling him that weird nickname?!"
"Naruto! Kakashi-sensei! You two are being way too mean!"
But instead of backing off, Naruto and Kakashi exchanged a glance, tilted their heads upward at a 45-degree angle, and in perfect synchronization, murmured in a mockingly pensive tone:
"My whole life feels like walking on thin ice. Do you think I'll ever reach the other shore?"
Imitating Sasuke's dramatic voice, the two of them then burst into uncontrollable laughter.
"You bastards!"
"I'll kill you!!!"
Fuming with rage, Sasuke had finally reached his breaking point. He gritted his teeth, eyes filled with murder.
The only reason he hadn't attacked Naruto earlier was that he'd just gotten his weapon and felt a little guilty about damaging it.
But now?
Now he couldn't hold back any longer!
Seeing the furious Sasuke, crackling with electricity, Naruto quickly tossed out his trusty giant iron gate, hopped on, and flew into the air.
All Sasuke could do was shake his Xuan Heavy Ruler at the sky and scream in impotent fury.
"Damn you, Uzumaki Naruto! Get down here and fight me!"
But Naruto just ignored him. He had more important things to do—like checking out the exam venue. Who had time to fight Sasuke?
In the end, Kakashi had to step in and use his jōnin-level prowess to subdue Sasuke.
Smelling faintly of burnt hair, Kakashi then led his three students to the first Chūnin Exam venue.
On the way there, Kakashi kept shooting sideways glances at Naruto, clearly annoyed.
Every single time, it's me who has to clean up after this kid...
Just like when he awakened Sasuke's Sharingan!
Kakashi was seriously starting to have a grudge against Naruto.
But no matter what, he couldn't do anything about the kid, and that only made it more frustrating.
Still, Kakashi figured these days of suffering wouldn't last much longer. After all, he'd heard that Jiraiya was returning to the village soon.
Once that happened, someone else could finally take over handling Naruto.
Naruto, your days are numbered!
The mere thought of Jiraiya's impending return made Kakashi grin like a child.
"AHHH!!"
Suddenly, a child's scream snapped the group's attention.
Looking toward the source of the sound, Naruto spotted a dark-eyed boy who looked like a cosplaying Pikachu. He was holding a child by the collar, while a red-haired guy with face tattoos stood by, looking menacing.
Ah... Konohamaru and Gaara...
Naruto instantly pieced together what was happening.
Sasuke turned to Naruto and asked, "You want to handle this, or should I?"
Seeing the eager look in Sasuke's eyes, Naruto shrugged, stepping aside to let him take the lead.
"Alright, I'll take care of it."
With that, Sasuke activated his Three Thousand Thunder Movement, leaping into the air.
With a loud BOOM, he landed in front of Kankurō, cracking the ground beneath him.
"Hey, you guys over there..."
"Let go of the kid."
Konohamaru, terrified, turned toward his would-be savior.
Seeing who it was, he screamed in delight, "Mr. Thin Ice!"
"Save me!"
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