Because of the way we parted at J's Cafe last time, I thought I might go into some deep soul-searching and maybe even miss Hina a little bit.
The reality was quite different though, because…
I fucking loved it!!!
I felt like this is how a parent must feel when their kid goes on a summer camp or something. Suddenly you have all the time in the world, all the freedom to do whatever you want. Being able to afford absolutely wasting time doing nothing productive felt like a bliss I haven't experienced for years and years.
It was like becoming young again. Staying up all night gaming, waking up past noon, eating ramen for breakfast (is it still breakfast when you eat it after noon?), taking a nap again, going out and getting an ice cream or two, buying tons of snacks, come back home and munch munch while playing games, then fall asleep on the bed while doom scrolling as the sun rises again. Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat.
A bit soapy anecdote, but the streamer girl story is actually very similar to what I experienced IRL. I wouldn’t go into details here as that is quite out of topic for the story, but here are song lyrics I wrote some years ago looking back at how things went. Be warned, it's very Chuuni XD
Title: I once knew
I once knew a girl
who didn’t know
me at all.
But I listened to her words
like they were the way
to my salvation.
And when she smiled,
although I knew it was all
fake back then
I still found my comfort
because despite that mask
the life that she spoke
was real and I wasn’t sure
if I was real.
So there I lied
in my bed and I shut my eyes
and let her voice
take me to the place
where I didn’t need to think
about anything in life
that I failed to like
and my stubborn heart
was broken like a
bag of blood cut open
gushing out my soul
and I had no more thoughts
it was good enough that way
and I had
nothing more to say.
So I closed
the window for good
I didn’t make a vow
that I shall never return
but I knew I wouldn’t
anyway.
And I hope these words
will never find
you again.
Because you never
knew me
anyway.