Chapitre 12: WITH OR WITHOUT HIM
"I'm not stressed,' Kylie said. "I was at first but I'm not now. I want this baby and I'm going to do the very best I can by it. I shall look up Ken at some point but not now. Not while I'm still trying work things out. I need to find out the test result, before I tell anyone. I need to know that it's not going to be happening again. Why am I even telling you this, I don't him around my life or my Baby's and...'
Kylie knew she had Alora's support and, yes, she was angry, not just angry but worried. She could tell her most things but there was something she couldn't explain to her friend just yet because she didn't actually understand it herself. But, all she knew was that, she wanted happiness and to raise her child in peace. She was tired of men, tired of every fucking thing about them. She was tired of hoping and falling in love over and over again.
She was tired. She despised herself for admitting this, she missed him. she missed him so much and everything that happened between them.
Yes, it had been but more than a weekend and, yes, she she was angry, not just with him but herself for being so stupid.
It was how she was going to react when she saw him again, and that terrified Kylie. But, she hoped she will never see him again. Was she lying to herself or trying to convince herself to not see him again.
She knew that she wouldn't cry and break down if he told her he wanted nothing to do with them...it would come as a relief, in fact.
And she didn't want a penny from him either. She was rich and she could afford anything and raise her child properly.
There were two things that terrified her...how he was going to react to the news if their baby was less than perfect, disabled, which was understandable given all that had gone on.
And how she might break if he took the news well.
Or rather, how she might react when she saw him again.
What if that Spark blew all her scruples away?
The mere thought of his kisses terrified her.
His smooth talk too.
She had this awful glimpse of life as a mistress.
Tucked away in England with her baby.
And she'd never be that.
If he was to be in their baby's life, which Kylie had planned will never be. And, if by chance, he was it must be without lies.
Which meant someone was going to get hurt.
Kylie did look him up.
At twenty-two weeks gestation, when her scan and amnio had come through as clear, Alora told her that she had no excuse not to.
It had really been an excuse because whatever the outcome of the tests it wouldn't have changed the course of the pregnancy for Kylie. But, the results came in before christmas and Kylie had visions of Ken and his fraught wife and the triplets she had now assigned to him, deceided she couldn't ruin christmas for them.
Or New Year.
She didn't want all this, what was she even doing
Still she had looked him up and it had taken about fifteen minutes to find out and know where he worked.
She recalled him saying that he liked the architecture in... where was that again. She tried to remember, but she couldn't remember and she was so exhausted. After a few false starts she found someone who knew him and was told that he was now working at a large teaching hospital in Edinburgh.
Ah, that's right. She finally remembered, he didn't like to be tied to one place for too long.
Or a person.
And, Kylie had sat on that knowledge for another two months, which was hard for her to get by.
Her second pregnancy threw up so many memories of her first. There were so many thoughts and fears, anxiety and she wanted to get past the milestone she has reached with Thomas.
Finally, though, she picked up the courage to make the Call.
"Oh, you are looking for Mr Ken?' A cheerfully female voice, with a heavy Edinburgh accent, checked.
"Yes, Ken... he's an emergency consultant.'
"Oh, Ken.' A few seconds passed. "Oh, the most handsome bachelor in this hospital,' she giggled. What was wrong with this lady and What's up with *Oh* word. Was he that popular at where he works or ... What did she mean by bachelor, Wasn't he married. Oh, she knows what is going on here. He must have lied to the others too and told them he was a bachelor, whereas he was married. He must have lied about being not married to get close to the ladies and get them on his bed. Why was she looking for him, in the first place. Was she making the right decision or she could just drop all this and focused on how to safely give birth and raise her child. They are all fakes and lies, and Alora keeps telling her to let the Father know about his child. His child, My foot.
"No, he was only here for a couple of months...Sorry, I've had no idea where he is now.'
"Thank you,' she said and hanged up.
And, that ended that.
Though, not quite, of course.
Now into February and thirty-three weeks pregnant Kylie and Alora caught up one Monday morning for breakfast in the canteen. They were interviewing for Kylie's maternity leave position and she didn't want to be around for that.
Pregnancy suited her and she was enjoying this one. Colour had continued to come back into her life since that weekend and she was wearing the paisley clothes that she had bought for the twin's Christening along with the black-high-heeled boots. Her hair hadn't been straightened since and hung over the shoulders in a thick, long ponytail.
"I really don't want to see, who's replacing me,' she admitted as she peeled off the lid of her Yoghurt and, having licking it, added, "Temporarily, of course. I will be back.'
"Full time,' Alora said, as she smiled.
"And, that was the plan,' Kylie also admitted. "and, I've told him, that I will be returning full time, but I'm starting to really wonder how I'm going to manage it.'
Alora chuckled.
"Yeah, this is so fucking stressful,' she sighed.
Cadeaux
-- Cadeau
reçu État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
-- Classement
Power Stone 
-- Power
stone