Chapitre 66: 66. Erina Zeppeli ~A Newfound Ally~
On a Friday, Josuke walked home from school, this time, with nobody with him. Jedan had to go with Celina Ai, his girlfriend, for an unknown reason. Josuke, meanwhile, walked home happily whistling in school.
Suddenly, he gets a call from someone.
"Hey, Finn!" smiled Josuke.
"Josuke," said Finn. "Hey! Jake and I are kinda on Kira-watching duty right now... We're watching her in case she kills anyone tonight. You?"
"I'm walking home from school," said Josuke. "Just alone, being lonely, in this vast empty void of loneliness."
*bump*
*thud*
Anne Erina Zeppeli sat in front of him with a blank expression. His expression softened as he gave an embarrassed smile. He scratched the back of his head.
"Hey!" he smiled. "I'm Josuke Higashikata... You're Anne Erina Zeppeli, right? You're part of Gio's clique..."
Josuke chuckled. "Uh... You're friends with Jessica! I was wondering... does Jessica like chocolate?"
Erina stands up, frowning and picking up her own books. "I'm not some tool for you to perv on someone... especially someone I consider my friend!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" shouted Josuke. "I'm not perving on anyone! I'm just a guy who has a crush on Jessica! That's all!"
"You and Jessica?" asked Anne Erina. "Ugh... Please... I can't even imagine you two together. Like pickles and onions with mayonnaise and chicken."
"Isn't that really good, though?" asked Josuke, standing up.
Josuke leaned closer to her as she turned red. She walked a few steps backward.
"Oh! You are wearing makeup!" shouted Josuke. "Never thought you wore some! You were already kinda pretty!" he chuckled. "Anne, right?"
"Erina, actually..." she said. "I was named after-... *Ahem*..." she turns around and walks away.
Josuke seemingly follows her.
"What are you doing!?" she asked.
"This is the way to my mansion-... house," he explained.
"Were you trying to be respectful right there?" asked Erina.
"Yeah," said Josuke. "Sorry..."
"It's fine, plus sign," said Erina.
"Plus sign?!" asked Josuke. "I like it. Like... I'm so positive."
"No... like you're a cultist and a cross should be carved on your forehead," said Erina.
"Eh," said Josuke. "Makes me happy."
"Ugh..." said Erina.
The two reach their houses. Josuke's mansion is at the left of Erina's small simple suburban house. The house is just a square with some metal roofing and one window at the center. It is only one floor tall.
"Oh!" shouted Josuke. "You're that Zeppeli."
Erina is in shock. She immediately tried finding her keys to open up her door.
"Lost your keys?" asked Josuke. "It's as if fate wanted us together! Hahaha!"
"Oh, sweet mother of God..." said Erina, realizing her only choice. "...help."
Miguel sits with Gabrielle.
"Ah-..." he said.
The baby cooed and copied her father's mouthing. "Ah-..." she replied.
"Apple-..." he said.
"Ababababa..." she said, spitting some drool. She then started giggling.
"Shush..." said Miguel. "You'd wake up Uncle Kariel."
Gabrielle slaps Miguel's lips.
"Gab? What'd I say about slapping other people's lips?" asked Miguel, scolding his daughter.
"Really?" asked Anne. "You really want the first words of our baby to be 'Apple?' You? The man who destroyed the whole world in an alternate timeline? Having your successor's first words to be a red fruit you see being pitched as businesses by literal dumbells?"
"Yeah..." said Miguel. Miguel has an idea. "Dada...."
"Dah-..."
*ZIP*
Anne zipped their daughter's mouth shut.
"ANNE!?" asked Miguel.
"NOT IF SHE SAYS 'MAMA' FIRST!!! WATCH OUT, WORLD!!! MAMA'S GONNA GETCHA!!!" she boomed in a loud grunting voice as she launched her hand and grabbed the baby.
She ran with the baby and unzipped her mouth.
"Ma~ma..." she said. "Muh-... Muh-..."
Anne hides in the closet as Miguel searches for Anne.
"HEY!!! THAT'S NOT FAIR!!! TODAY'S MY DAY WITH HER!!!" Miguel roared.
"Shush..." whispered Anne.
Gabrielle slaps Anne's lips.
"Fuck!" she whispered out of pain.
Anne covered her mouth out of shame.
"Fuh-...ck..." said Gabrielle, nodding.
"OH SHIT!!!" she whispered. "No, no, no, no, no... You did not say that."
"Fuck... Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" giggled Gabrielle. Each time she said the word, she nodded.
"Shush!" shouted Anne. "Oh, baby... You're so cute, but it'll cost your mother's night out! Oh no... Your daddy's gonna kill me... Oh... God... I need help..."
Anne zipped out of the basement, turned on her armor and her baby's special suit (which looks like a red Among Us suit), and runs off to the streets toward the Higashikata Household.
Meanwhile...
Finn and Jake watch her in a car through binoculars.
This so-called Koko Kawajiri seems to be changing her clothes.
Finn shields his eyes and removes the binoculars.
"What's wrong, Finn?" asked Jake. "Finn?"
"I need a girlfriend," Finn replied, shakily.
Back to Josuke...
The Fusion eats at the dinner table. They all ate steak, carrots, beans, peas, and potatoes. There is a dip of tartar sauce, barbecue sauce, and sour cream for the veggies. They each have a sauceboat filled with finely made gravy.
"Jedan made this food," smiled Josuke.
The Fusion immediately dug in.
"Don't you pray, first?" asked Erina.
"Praying?" chuckled Josuke. "I used to ask my mom that, but she wouldn't respond."
"Where is your mom?" asked Erina.
"Oh," laughed Josuke. "She never eats here. She's always out there doing business meetings.Shall we pray, then?"
"Pray? To who?" asked Gumball. "In our world, we don't have that anymore."
"Yes, we do," said Darwin.
"Shush!" whispered Gumball. "I'm going to eat steak!"
"No, Gumball," said Spongebob. "We should pray. Come on! Patrick and I will pray for the Magic Conch and King Poseidon!You guys pray to your God, and Josuke, Jedan, and Erina to theirs!Bahahahahahaha!"
"Spongebob, praying to God is like talking to someone you have no idea is even there," said Gumball.
"If the master wants it, do it," said Jedan.
"Oh, sure!" shouted Gumball. "And suddenly unicorns will give me blessings!"
"You just summoned Satan the other day," said Darwin.
"Who knows? Maybe that guy is just a poser," he scoffed.
"WHAT!!?" asked a booming voice.
Lucifer teleports to the room.
"Which one of you pathetic whelps said that?!"
Lucifer leans toward Gumball. Gumball hid his face with his hand.
"I sense bullshitry in this once," said Lucifer. "You want me to prove it to you, huh? STOP HIDING YOUR OVERSIZED FACE WITH YOUR TINY HAND AND FACE ME!!!"
The others look away from him.
"Damned mortals," said Lucifer, as he teleported away.
Gumball silently wept.
Darwin simply pats him on the back repeatedly.
"So!" smiled Josuke. "Erina! Where are your parents?"
"Dead," said Erina.
"What!? How'd they die?" asked Josuke.
"Your people killed them," said Erina.
"A-... Ah..." said Josuke. "You mean ... Aswangs... when you were... younger... Who raised-?"
"My mother raised me. She got sick a while back and died," said Erina. Erina stands up and walks away.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" shouted Josuke. "Where the heck are you going?"
"I don't know!"
Erina went upstairs.
"Me neither!" shouted Patrick, crossing his arms.
"Shut the fuck up, Patrick," said Gumball.
"No need to thank me for fixing the situation," said Patrick.
"Patrick, you didn't fix anything," said Spongebob.
"You just added a sentence that has no purpose to add in the situation," said Darwin.
"Pfft... Words," said Patrick, shaking his head as he continued eating his steak.
Meanwhile...
Anne tuts and hushes her daughter. "No, sweetie! You aren't going to say the F-Word as your very first word and become one of those delinquent girls and get pregnant with some ugly student boy with long messy hair who dresses like a gangsta. No... Your first word will be 'Mama' and be like the rest of society!"
Anne slams the door open and meets the dinner table.
"Fusion! I have a mission for you!" she shouted.
Everyone stands up and salutes her.
Anne pants and tells them what to do.
"Can you guys make her forget this word?" asked Anne.
"What word, Ma'am?" asked Jedan.
"Fuck!" Gabrielle shouted.
"Oh, dear God," said Jedan.
Everyone mutters something along the lines of, "Oh, jeez."
"I need your help, guys!" shouted Anne. "Miguel's on to me!"
"Have you tried shaking your daughter?" asked Patrick.
"No!" shouted Anne. Anne then softly shook her daughter.
"Ms. Kuta, don't-..." said Jedan.
"Right!" she said.
"Oh, I know!" shouted Spongebob. "How about you tell him a different word over and over again until she says that word!"
"Yeah... That's how she started saying the word in the first place!" shouted Anne. "R-Right..."
Anne faces her daughter.
"Mama..." she said. "Ma...ma..."
"Fuck," said Gabrielle.
"No..." Anne said. "Mama..."
"Fuck you-..." said Gabrielle.
"NO!!!" shouted Anne, stomping her feet. "Where did you learn that!?"
"Ms. Kuta," said Jedan. "Have you tried to discipline your child?"
"Her!? Me!? Never!" she widened her eyes as they turned black.
"Okay, okay!" shouted Gumball. "Maybe, you should try it first before you say no to it!"
"Gumball, you hated it when Mrs. Mom would slap you," said Darwin.
"I know," said Gumball, standing proudly with a tear in his eye.
"Fuck!" smiled Gabrielle.
Anne lightly slaps her face.
*sniff sniff*
Gabrielle's eyes went teary.
Gabrielle begins to shout and cry as she bites Anne's finger.
"Ow!" Anne shouted, as she sucks her finger.
Suddenly, a blue female Stand appeared from behind Gabrielle.
Anne gasps.
"My baby's a Stand-User!" she smiled.
"Aw!" said everyone else.
"ORA!!!" shouted the Stand, breaking her arm.
"GAH!!! GOD!!! YOU LITTLE-!!!"
Gabrielle drops down and runs away from Anne.
"Dada!!!" she cried, looking around. "Dada!!!"
Gabrielle then turns into strings and enters the vent.
"Huh..." sighed Anne.
"Now what?" asked Spongebob, as the others turn to Spongebob.
Meanwhile...
Finn and Jake watched Yoshiko, who is now sleeping naked in her bed. Well, only Finn was forced to watch her. Jake is eating potato chips in peace beside him.
"Jake, this is weird and wrong," whimpered Finn, red as an apple. "Miguel told me to watch out for a tank Stand with a skull."
"I don't understand what's wrong!" explained Jake. "You're a single 17-year-old kid who is almost 18 and she's a single 38-year-old woman who wants someone in her life."
"She's a serial killer, Jake," said Finn. "She's like... evil!"
"And here you are saying that you wanted a break from all this..." said Jake.
"I want a break, Jake," said Finn.
"Heheheh," laughed Jake. "That rhymed."
"I'm serious," said Finn. "I'm tired of being the one helping out and being everyone's stronghold... I just need a break."
"Finn," said Jake. "Who'd take your place after you stop adventuring... I mean, I might disappear anytime. I'm not Immortal. My time on Earth... or the Multiverse in this case... isn't forever. Who knows? I might be playing cards with Death in the 37th Death World the next time you see me. Who'd take your place, Finn?"
Finn sighs and turns to Jake.
"You know what's wrong?" asked Jake. "You just lost your stuff, that's all! You don't have that drive anymore! You found the secret of your birth... you saved Ooo countless times... Peebs is with Marceline... We lost our treehouse... You lost Fern... You've gotten your happy ending, right? But what happens after you get your happy ending?"
"I don't know," replied Finn.
"It's probably time for another adventure," said Jake.
"Another adventure..." Finn chuckles.
Jake stares at Finn.
"I know! You need a girlfriend!" smiled Jake.
"Jake, ugh... I keep gumming up... *ahem*... messing up my relationships..." said Finn, as he looks at Koko once more with his binoculars.
"Maybe you could try with Ms. Kawajiji over there?" asked Jake.
"But... again... she's evil, dude," said Finn.
"Yeah? Well, you thought Flame Princess was evil and you liked her because you said that it felt kinda wrong. Hi hi," laughed Jake.
"I'm not like that anymore," said Finn. "Bad girls are more of a fling, y'know? I'm more into girls who are more... mature... if that makes sense."
Finn checks his teeth on the side mirror.
"Maybe you should try this gal," said Jake. "You don't know her well enough to say that she's-..."
Finn sees the reflection of the tank-like Stand Miguel was talking about on the side mirror behind them.
Yes.
It's Sheer Heart Attack.
"TRYING TO KILL US!!!" shouted Finn. "TIME ADVENTURE!!!"
*click*
*BOOM*
*SPLAT*
Only blood remained on their car seats.
Meanwhile...
Erina sighed. She stands on the balcony and looks down at some people walking around the streets.
"You okay?" asked Josuke, walking outside to meet her.
"Go away," said Erina.
"I'm surprised you knew your way up here into my room," smiled Josuke.
"Yeah, well," said Erina. "I have my way of tracking things."
"I'm sorry for what my people did to your family," said Josuke.
"No," sighed Erina. "It isn't your fault."
"No... I would never understand what you're going through because I never experienced it," Josuke leaned on the balcony with her. "I never will. But, I can stand by you since you're my friend."
"Are you kidding? Until now, you think that we're your friends!?" asked Erina. "Josuke, none of us are your friends. You're just some loser who walks into class and joins our conversations while silently listening to what we talk about. You're a weirdo! A freak, even! You don't even know us!"
Josuke sighed. "Listening to your conversations is better than just sitting alone at the back of class all the time.And I do know you."
"Yeah! Sure! The Prince of All Aswangs even cares about knowing me! A Grimm who used to hunt his kind!That's just too precious!" laughed Erina.
She sighed and looked down on the street.
"You're arguing with Krisha right now," said Josuke.
"None of your business," said Erina.
"I know," said Josuke. "But you're arguing with Krisha over a boy, right? Some guy named Nico Adan. He used to push me around when I was younger, claiming that he was this cool guitarist while I was an annoying transferee that made him pretty annoyed. Frankly, I don't think you should be liking that guy."
"Wow," she said, sarcastically. "Who are you to give me relationship-?"
"You don't like cheese," said Josuke.
"What?" asked Erina.
"You also don't like fish. Your favorite meal is Pork Sisig which your mom really liked. Your mom died and I knew that. I just lied to you about not knowing because you might think that I'm creepy, and therefore, I give you my apologies and condolences. You like K-Dramas. You watch them every day but you're embarrassed to talk about them with other people. But Gio spread those rumors about you, so now everyone knows. You also listen to K-Pop and you tend to enjoy listening to it with your friends."
Erina sighed, trying hard to ignore him.
"You feel like you're alone."
Erina's eyes quivered.
"You don't like it when people ignore you. That's why you work hard for people to notice you. You say that you're this cool awesome type who socialized with just about everyone and wears these goth clothes to look hot... But in actuality, you just feel lonely."
Erina sighed.
"What do you want?" asked Erina.
"I want you to be my friend," said Josuke.
"Why?" asked Erina.
"Because you look lonely," said Josuke.
"That can't be it," she laughed. "No..."
"Because you're like me," said Josuke.
Erina's eye quivered.
"When you're in school, and I see you being unhappy when people leave you... You look down... And you give off this big sigh.Then...In class...You look up to the sky and you wonder.Just like I do.And I thought that... 'Hey! She's like me!'" Josuke said.
Josuke leaned on the balcony.
"Hey," she said, as she grabbed his hand.
He pulled his hand.
"Oh!" he said under his breath.
She turns to him and sees that he's red as an apple.
She chortles and covers her mouth. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Ahahahahahaha! *snort*... Hahahahahaha!"
"What's so f-funny?" he stuttered.
"No!" she laughed. "You've always been this positive outgoing guy! I just can't believe you'd get bashful over that!"
"Bashful?" asked Josuke.
"You're red!" she chortled some more.
"O-Oh... Hehehehehehe..." he laughed along, though, nervously.
The two walk down to see Gabrielle on the ceiling and won't climb down. They see everyone in chaos trying to reach Gabrielle down.
"What is... going on right now?" asked Erina.
Anne tries to reach for Gabrielle.
"Come on, sweetie! Every time I grab you with my launched hand, you phase through it!" she shouted.
"Fuck!" shouted Gabrielle.
Spongebob shouts. "Come on! Come on, baby! Land on me!"
"That sounded wrong," said Gumball, reading a magazine.
Darwin is shown transforming into an animal. "YOU'RE NOT HELPING!!!"
"And how are you helping?" asked Gumball.
"I'm finding an animal that can capture a creature made of string," said Darwin.
Darwin transformed into an ape, a monkey, a vine, a mouse, a spider-...
"Come on!" shouted Anne.
Patrick prays to the Magic Conch. "Oh, Magic Conch! What do I do?"
Patrick pulls Magic Conch's string as she replies. "I don't know."
"THE MAGIC CONCH KNOWS NOTHING!!!" shouted Patrick. "ALL IS LOST!!!"
Spongebob and Patrick run around the table and scream.
"OUR GOD IS FALSE!!!" shouted Spongebob. "OUR GOD IS FALSE!!!"
Sticky Fingers tries to grab the baby, but her range is too slow.
She launched her hand and punched through the ceiling. This extended her range, as Sticky Fingers tries to grab the baby.
Gabrielle, however, constantly turned into strings. Each time Anne tries to grab her daughter, Gabrielle phases through Sticky Fingers' hands.
"Please! I'll give you anything!" she shouted.
"Give who anything?" asked Miguel, walking inside. "Whoa..."
Miguel sees their daughter on the ceiling.
"I missed Gabrielle's first Stand!?" asked Miguel, looking rather frustrated.
"S-Sorry, sweetie," said Anne.
"Oh!" smiled Jedan, walking in with a rattle. "Did you tell Miguel about the word you taught her?"
"What word?" asked Miguel.
The Fusion facepalm as Jedan says, "I'm sorry for ruining your marriage."
"What?" asked Miguel.
"Y'know!" shouted Anne. "Mama!"
"Oh!" shouted Miguel. "Damn. Too bad."
"Fuck!" shouted Gabrielle.
The Fusion gasp.
"What was that? asked Miguel.
Gabrielle speaks again.
What we hear:
"Fuck!"
What Miguel hears:
*white noise since Miguel cannot comprehend this truth*
Back to reality...
"What was that?" asked Miguel.
"Sweetie, she's been saying the same word 23 times. She said, 'fuck'," said Anne.
Miguel drops to the ground, fainting.
"Ah," said Anne.
Later...
Miguel wakes up, gasping.
"OH, GOD!!! WHAT HAPPENED!?" asked Miguel.
"You fainted after Gabrielle said the F-Word," said Gumball. "About 11 seconds ago," he said, checking his watch.
Miguel gasps. He falls to the ground as Sticky Fingers grabs him.
"Oh, no, you aren't, sweetie," said Anne.
Miguel stands right back up.
"YOU TAUGHT OUR DAUGHTER THE F-WORD!!?" asked Miguel. "THAT'S LIKE TATTOOING OUR DAUGHTER THE WORD ON HER DAMNED FOREHEAD!!!"
"I'm sorry, Miguel!" shouted Anne. "I promise, I'll fix this!"
Gabrielle uses her Stand to slap Anne in the mouth.
"OW!!!" shouted Anne. "Stop doing that! Where'd you learn that!?"
"U-Uh..." said Miguel. "Dunno. Probably a TV Show or YouTube video or somethin'..." he said in a softer voice.
"ORA!!!" shouted Gabrielle, slapping Anne's mouth.
"Wait... what'd you say?" asked Anne.
"Huh... Why is that-? OH!!! Mr. Reaper!" smiled Josuke. "Didn't you do that to me with Star Platinum when you said I won't shut-?"
"ORA!!!"
*slap*
Star Platinum slaps Josuke's lips.
"Silence," said Miguel.
The two start arguing with each other as Josuke stops them both.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" shouted Josuke. "Guys! Isn't it better to just look at the bright side that your daughter had her first Stand?"
The two, with crossed arms, look at each other.
"R-Right..." said Miguel. "Sorry, Anne."
"S-Sorry, Miggy," said Anne.
"See? Was that hard?" asked Josuke.
"What do we tell others about her first words?" asked Miguel.
"Come on! It's not that bad!" shouted Gumball. "You could just lie your way out of those conversations!"
Everyone nodded at each other and each said something along the lines of, "Yeah! That works!"
Immediately, Miguel and Josuke felt something.
"Something's wrong," said the both of them.
"I felt something wrong with the timeline. You?" asked Miguel.
"Something... feels wrong right now..." said Josuke. "Someone we know is in danger..."
The two gasp.
"Finn and Jake!"
Meanwhile...
Finn and Jake are back on the front seat... somehow...
"Yeah? Well, you thought Flame Princess was evil and you liked her because you said that it felt kinda wrong. Hi hi," laughed Jake.
"I'm not like that anymore," said Finn. "Bad girls are more of a fling, y'know? I'm more into girls who are more-... Huh? I said this before."
Finn checks the side mirror.
"Maybe you should try this gal," said Jake. "You don't know her well enough to say that she's-..."
Finn grabs Jake as he leaped outside.
*click*
*BOOM*
The car explodes as Sheer Heart Attack stayed in the car.
Finn and Jake pant out of panic.
"How'd you-?"
"I don't know," said Finn. "But this happened before... Let's move before that thing."
"Look over here!"
The two scream as another bullet was shot at them.
Later...
Erina enters the bathroom and talks to her watch. "It worked, sir."
État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
-- Classement
Power Stone 
-- Power
stone