Chapter 21: The Decision.
THIRD POINT OF VIEW.
"Although you still do whatever you want, you should've f*cking asked me."
Nagkatitigan ang dalawang matang umiiyak dahil sa sobrang sakit at pait ng tadhana.
"I.. I'm the queen of this forest, rozzen.. That's why i thought.. you will understand." pahina na ng pahinang ani ni shakira. "I'm sorry if i.. didn't consider your opinion. i thought it would be the best for us to made a decision by myself.. I thought no one will be hurt.." napatigil siya upang pigilan ang paghikbing gustong kumawala sa bibig niya.
Napahawak siya sa bibig at umiwas ng tingin-- tumalikod upang punasan ang mga luha bago humarap uli.
"Ang hangad ko lang ay ang mabalanse ang lahat sa pamamagitan ng desisyong ginawa ko. K-Kasi alam kong kapag lumaban ako, maaring madamay pa ang ibang tao lalo na ang mga taong minamahal ng babaeng 'to." matatag niyang ani. "Kung lalaban ako sainyo, ako lang din ang talo dahil alam niya ang kahinaan ko.. Alam niya kung saan dapat ako tatargetin para matalo uli." huminga sya ng malalim. "That's why i came up with a conclusion where I need to give up my happiness just to make a peace for everyone.. I need to sacrifice myself just to stop the war--"
"No.. Don't!" putol ni rozzen sakaniya. "H'wag mong isakripisyo ang sarili mo para sa kapakanan ng iba--shakira! Annette! Isa kang tao ngayon.. kapag ginawa mo yan, mamamatay ka uli." naluluha na naman nitong sabi.
Mapait siyang napangiti at dahan dahang umiling.
"Kung hindi ko gagawin iyon, mas lalala lang ang lahat.." isang butil ng luha ang tumulo sa pisnge niya. "I'm the queen.. I should do everything to protect my love one's and if that's the only thing that i can do to stop the war, then i gladly take my own life."
"No! I won't f*cking let you!" napaatras sya dahil sa sigaw na kumawala sa bibig nito na tila nag echo sa buong kagubatan. "I won't let you sacrifice yourself for our own sake..D*mn not again, Not this f*cking time shakira.. Please" he looks so disparate.
It seems like if kneeling will stop her from making a suicidal decision-- he will kneel down his feet just to beg her.
But, She needs to do it and she know that no one will ever stop her decision..
Even him.
"You know how much i love this forest rozzen.. You were there when my parents dedicated me as their queen.. I was happy back then because finally, i can protect the forest. I can lead the forest the way i want and i need to.." huminto siya upang pigilan ang paghikbi. "But i failed myself.. I failed you.. I failed everyone who trusted me-- Even i, i failed myself too and that's the thing that I'm embarrassed to tell-- My darkest secret." She blows a deep breath. "And if sacrificing myself would be enough to save this forest.." lumunok siya bago titigan sa mga mata ang binata. "I gladly will.."
Nalilito, Nalulungkot, Nasasaktan at Nagagalit-- Iyon ang nababasa niya sa mga mata nito. Halo halong emosyon dahil sa huli niyang sinabi.
Kumibot kibot ang mga labi nito na tila ba may gustong sabihin munit hindi kayang sabihin. Habang siya nama'y nanginginig na ang labi, pinag-iisipan kung itutuloy pa ba ang plano o hindi.
"Rozzen." pinatatag niya ang boses niya nung maisip na kung hindi niya gagawin ang bagay na iyon ay tiyak na mahuhuli na siya at hindi na ito mauulit pa. "Forg--"
"I've waited for you for 300 years.." putol nito sa sasabihin niya. Napanganga siya-- nangangapang nakatingin sa binatang seryoso na ang mga matang nakatingin sakaniya. "300 years without you-- A f*cking 300 years of blaming myself why you wasn't by my side..Dang it, It was a torture for me, shakira.. It was, and it still f*cking torturing me."
HE FEELS like something died inside when he finally say the words that he can't say to anyone other than the people that make him feel that way.
"I was waiting for you to comeback because I want you to take your revenge." He gulp. "I want you to stand and k*ll us. I want you to t*rture us. I want you to take a tevenge for what we've done to you.. I want you to make us feel the f*cking pain that you've felt that day.. That's why i waited you for f*cking 300 years."
[Flashback]
"MAN, Let's in! Mag-gagabi na oh!" Inip na sabi ng kaibigan nya. Kung dati ay nangungulit itong palabasin sya, ngayon namang nasa labas na sya ay gusto naman nya na itong papasukin.
"Khiro, ilang beses ko ba dapat sasabihin sayong mauna kana? Nangungulit ka na naman." His face was no emotion, he just staring at the sunset all time.
"C'mmon, Gawin mo nalang yung mga ginagawa mo 10 years ago bago mo nakilala yung bata. Pare, bata yun e hindi ka nga pwedeng maattrac--"
" I dont care. That's final."
[ End of flashback]
He wasn't interested on that kid that time.
He never was.
He waited like a crazy *ss handsome boy there for another 10 years-- and its not because of that kid, but because of Annette.
He waited her outside of his house-- Wishing that one day, he will feel the same pain or half of the pain that he caused to her.
But everyday.. everynight its still the same thing.
Everyday that he sat and waiting on her to comeback-- Everynight that he wished that she will come back tomorrow..
Every f*cking day or night disappoint him as always.
That's why he ends up with a conclusion that maybe.. Just maybe that the kid he met 10 years ago was the girl that he waited for 300 years.
And he's right.
He got it right.
"Mas gugustuhin ko pang magalit ka, saktan mo'ko, kasuklaman mo'ko o ang kitilin ang buhay ko kesa sa ganito.. Annette, ang sakit sakit na e." sounds a f*cking gay but whenever she's the topic-- he become soft like a marshmallow.
He becomes senstive.. He becomes a crybaby.. inshort, he always become weak.
"So please I'm begging you.. Don't f*cking sacrifice yourself for me.."
"BUT this is not only for you. The sacrifice that I've been thinking about for a long time is for everyone's peace.." but, I won't deny the fact that you're the 90% out of 100% of my reason why i gladly sacrifice myself, rozz. Ani niya sa isip na alam niyang kahit kailan ay hindi niya masasabi gamit ang bibig.
"So.. This is our fate?" namumula na ang mga mata nito at nakakunot noo na nakataas ang kilay na tila ba umaasang sasabihin niyang hindi. Pero hindi siya kumibo, pinagmasdan niya lang ang kabuoan ng mukha ng lalaking minahal niya sa una niyang buhay at ngayong ikalawa niyang buhay.
Parang minememorize nya ang bawat sulok ng mukha nito sa pamamagitan ng pagtingin sa kabuoan upang kung may ikatlo man siyang buhay.. sisiguraduhin niyang ito pa rin ang lalaking iibigin niya.
"Tell me.. Ganito nalang ba tayo lagi magtatapos? Sa kamatayan?" napayuko siya at dahan dahang tumango.
Nagulat siya nung marinig ang isang malakas na pagtumba ng isang puno dahil sa isang kamao na ngayo'y nakalapad pa rin sa putol nang puno.
Hindi siya nakapagsalita, gulat pa rin siyang makita ang lalaking tila hinihinggal at pigil na pigil ang galit habang masama ang tingin sa puno.
"Rozz--"
"You're being unfair, shakira." wala nang emosyon ang mukha nito, at dahil dun ay mas lalo siyang nasasaktan.
Pilit na tinatago ng lalaking 'to ang emosyong gusto nang kumawala sa dibdib nito, Alam niya iyon. Alam na alam niya ang nararamdaman nito.
"You.. You will leave me again.. You will run away again.. And i will wait you again.. Then.. Then you will leave me again.. F*ck, Why can't we change this fu*cking fate of ours?!" napakapit siya sa sarili niyang damit dahil sa gulat sa pagsigaw nito sa huli niyang sinabi.
Napayuko siya at hindi na mapigilang mapaluha sa sobrang lungkot.
"Everyday.. Everyday that I have tried to cut this f*cking fate.. Every day that I've tried to change the way.. Its always ending up like this... Its always been running away to each other.." his voice cracked. You can hear his silent sobs through his voice.
Even though he tried to hide it-- she can still feel it.
He don't want to show his weakness but she is his weakness.
"We have another choice right?" umaasa nitong tanong. Hindi siya makasagot dahil alam niyang alam na rin nitong wala nang ibang solusyon maliban nalang sa sumuko.
Ang pagsuko lang ang tanging paraan para matapos na ang away ng dalawang pamilya. At kailangang siya ang magtapos nito..
"Wala na." pilit niyang tinatagan ang boses niya habang nakatingin sa likod ng binata. "Ito lang ang tanging solusyon para lang maligtas ka.. Ito lang ang magagawa ko, zen."
Halatang natigilan ito dahil sa pagtawag niya nang ngalang siya lang ang pwedeng tumawag.
Unti unti itong napalingon sakaniya kaya kahit umiiyak ay napangiti siya.
"I missed calling your name that I created." nakatulala pa rin ito sakaniya kaya natawa siya ng mahina. "And for the last time.. I want to call you that way again.." napahawak siya sa bibig nung tila hahagulgol na siya dahil sa bigat ng nararamdaman niya.
"The first time that i saw you in this life.. I.. I felt like its a love at first sight without realizing that my heart were just recognized its lover... Like although my mind forgets about your existing.. for my heart, you're still there.. Like although this is my second life, you'll still the man that i will love.. and my heart only wants her past lover.. I mean, you." pinunasan niya ang mga luha niya at unti unting lumapit may rozzen.
Munit nung iilang hakbang na lamang ang natitira sakanilang dalawa ay tumigil siya sa paglapit.
"So I.. I want you to do my favor, the favor that i know it'll lasts long not as this second life of mine.. because i will live again for you.. For my promise to you.."tumigil siya saglit upang punasan muli ang namumuong luha. "Kaya please, do my favor.. Do it so you can live.. Do it so i can go back to you after this.."
unti unti itong umiling.
Her face soften when rozzen step the inch between them and now, He's already in her front-- holding her face while crying.
"I can't do that anymore, love." napapikit siya nung marinig ang endearment nilang dalawa.
Ang endearment nilang dating masarap sa tenga munit ngayon ay halos ikakamatay niya na ang sakit tuwing naririnig niya iyon.
"I can't live anymore if you're not by my side.. I can't, love.. So please, stay with me." he wiped her tears while his tears falling on her cheeks.
And it's really hurt seeing like this-- wiping her tears without wiping his.
"I love you." yun nalang ang nasagot niya habang nakatingin sa mga mata ng binata. "Always remember that i love you.."
napailing ito. "No." matigas nitong ani.
"I love you so much." umiiyak niyang ani.
Umiling lang ito ng umiling kung kaya't hinawakan niya rin ang mukha nito at ipinagdikit ang kanilang mga noo.
"My heart will always remember you, i promise." nagkatitigan lang silang dalawa. Nakikita niya ang sakit sa mga mata nito pati na rin ang takot.
"I'm afraid.. I'm afraid that you won't come back again.." nakikita niya sa mga mata nito ang takot maski ang panginginig nitong mga kamay kung kaya't hinawakan niya ito at matamis na ngumiti.
"I promise that I'll come back.." nakangiti niyang ani. "Because i know.. i have a home to come back to.."
Nakikita niya pa rin ang pagtanggi sa mukha nito kung kaya't inuyuko niya ang ulo nito't hinalikan ito sa noo.
"I will keep my promise so wait for me 'til then." unti unti niyang inilapit ang mukha nito at siniil ng halik ang labi nito.
Isang butil ng luha ang tumulo sa pisnge niya bago niya sabihin ang salitang ayaw niya mang sabihin munit alam niyang kailangan.
Muli niyang pinadikit ang mga noo nila at tumitig sa mga mata nito na gayon din naman ang ginawa ng lalaki. "Live a happy life, zen.. I hope your heart still remember me when i come back.." napalunok siya. "Now, i command you t-to forget my existence.. T-There's no shakira anymore.. T-There's no annette anymore.. I will.. I will delete our memories in your mind.." napapikit siya bago bumuntong hininga na inilayo si rozzen na ngayon ay nakatigil lang.
Ganon ang epekto ng mahika niya.
"Go home.." utos niya pa rito bago mapait na ngumiti. "And please wait for me."
And there.. She's looking at her lover who walks away to her.... The reason why her heart broke into pieces.
Although she needs to leave, she didn't say her last goodbye because she knows..
She knows that this would not be the end of their story, she will come back soon and she promised that when that time comes.. she won't leave his side again.