Chapitre 37: Chapter 37
The first day of school. That was what this amounted to. There was no greater term that could explain the chaos, the confusion, the unadulterated nervousness that pervaded the somewhat gloomy atmosphere of the Ravenclaw dorm. There was something seriously wrong if this was the atmosphere that was present when all the other three in the moderately sized room were still asleep, in a house which supposedly jumped at the chance to learn. Yes, today was shaping up to be an annoying day.
Harry had woken up at five. There was no sense in not letting his body mechanically go through the motions of a normal morning while he mentally began plotting and planning. He showered in cold water, letting the temperature shock his muscles into full wakefulness. A shadow clone had been sent out, to observe the castle. It was invisible, as he had told it to be and so, Harry was content to let the scout make his map of the castle. He didn't think it was going to discover any of the secret passageways mentioned in Hogwarts, a History, but it would no doubt give him a rudimentary map of the castle he could work with. He actually hadn't remembered this tiny insignificant detail until he was in the shower.
It was strange, Harry decided. He had spent a significant fraction of his life so far in the pursuit of becoming a shinobi. Well, not really a shinobi. He was one of a kind in this world. Nobody recognized the class of warrior he was training to be. The kind of ninja here used magic. Chakra was an unrecognisable entity if Takeda's reaction back in Diagon was anything to go by. Besides, what was he doing here anyway?
It was a startling discovery, at least when pushed to one's consciousness. He had always been vaguely aware of the fact that he didn't have a real goal. What was a real goal anyway? Was it the pursuit of normality? As his uncle had done all too long ago? Was it a desire to succeed at something? Like any number of people in Naruto? Or was it a single minded self destroying purpose, one that left your existence empty and meaningless when achieved?*cough*Sasuke*cough* There was no real answer to the question. He was in a very real and for him, unthinkable manner, purposeless. Unless you considered the clichéd 'wait and see'.
He shook his head, letting his calloused hands towel his hair. It was moments like these, when he got really confused. Richards had once said that there was no point in doing anything unless it was for a reason that mattered. Valid cause, he had called it. Then again, with the amount of star wars dialogue he had been spouting till then, it could have been his Obi Wan interpretation for all he knew.
A long time ago, when he was still pathetic and stuck in the cupboard under the stairs, he didn't have such questions to deal with. His life goal was survival. See the next sunrise. Do not give in. Do not let the Dursleys win. Keep fighting, living, existing. That was valid cause, a proper reason to exist. He hadn't cared either way. He was too young at that time to worry about the philosophical angle to his whole life. It had been his life. And he had wanted to live. And that was that. But now? What was his purpose now? Why did he exist? What cause had he sworn fealty to? What cause was he prepared to die for? To kill for? To become less than human for?
Because in the end that was what he aspired to be, wasn't it? A cold emotionless entity who could kill torture and obliterate without remorse or pity? He gave a humourless chuckle at that. His only precious person was dead of natural causes, so there went that. What was he supposed to do? He had no revenge to take. Nothing he had read or trained in till now would be of a use if he had nothing to strive for. It would be all utterly pointless.
He shook his head again, trying to clear his thoughts. He was doing a lot of it now. He never had this problem until he had come to Hogwarts. He supposed that even waiting for something to happen was technically a goal, which was why he hadn't dipped into to the insanity pool until now. Waiting for Hogwarts. It even sounded like something someone might write a book about, or maybe a movie.
In other times, he may have been tempted to ask "what would Richards do?" However, he had no intention of having fun by scaring everyone with his eleven year old Darth Vader costume/impression. Even if he henged it to full scale. Even if there was a certain appeal to it... And he could get a clone to do it... And the look on Dumbledore's face would certainly be priceless...
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État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
-- Classement
Power Stone 
-- Power
stone