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Happier Than Ever System Langue source

Happier Than Ever System

Urban 18 Chapitres 57.2K Affichage
Auteur: fiifi_stunner

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Synopsis

Life of an average guy with an average family who gets an unexpected chance to experience something different.


#poortorich
#luxury life

General Audiences
  1. Ryeballer
    Ryeballer Contribué 51
  2. arjunks1000
    arjunks1000 Contribué 13
  3. fiifi_stunner
    fiifi_stunner Contribué 12

Cadeaux

Cadeau -- Cadeau reçu

    État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire

    Rank -- Classement Power Stone
    Stone -- Power stone

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    Love_C_raft

    it needs improvements, there are almost no characters interaction and when it does it seems like 3rd person pov instead of mc, and you need to correct who is talking. plus saying out loud and inner thoughts, everything is very simple, no depths. the improvement you can make more dialogue between characters, and pov changes, you need to differentiate between changing scenes event and ongoing thoughts, English seem okay good luck.

    9mth
    Voir 1 Réponses
    Rahat_Bin_Kamal

    Just feel like giving you a 5 star to encourage you

    9mth
    Voir 1 Réponses

    Auteur fiifi_stunner