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92.85% DROWN IN HELL / Chapter 26: Exemption

Chapitre 26: Exemption

Vera silently went back home. The moment the door was shut, hugo rounded her with a worried face. She looked back at him, eyes watery and sniffed. Her mind wondered. While other women out there had freedom and have opportunities for happiness, here she was, suffering for miserable action that has now reflected her. She felt dirty. She felt like a dirty pig.

Nothing about her was sacred. Her body, her smell, her feelings were all fodder for insult. For one insane moment, she thought all this was a dream... a bad dream likely to occur unknowingly, not realizing it was bitterness that turned to her.

In the end, vera stopped blaming herself. No one wished to hear her side, anyway, and she was too tired to try to speak reasonably to anyone, much less the people that surrounded her. She simply wanted to go to her bed and cry herself to sleep. But she was blocked on all sides. Her peace was rendered hopeless.

"Where have you been, vera? You got me worriedly sick about you"

Deep within her, she wanted to answer but something held her backwards. The feeling of irritation. The feeling of an absolute nobody. The feeling of foolishness, foolish woman to have thought she deserved to live with a smile on her face all her life. She knew that now.

"Vera, you must answer me!" his voice held a tinge of panic, so she raised her head up to look at him.

"In all my life" she said, "I thought that happiness is literally everything I wanted, but I was deprived of it" she blinked away the tears. She winced and moved a step backwards. "I don't even remember when last I did that. A sweet perhaps or, more likely, a happy smile that comes deep within my heart. I just..." Her eyes settled upwards with a sigh "I just... feel my life isn't worth it anymore"

"Oh vera, where are you hurt?" he came closer and brushed his thumb across her cheek, wiping the drop of tears that fell off her eyes.

"The pain is unbearable" She said, retreating to the memory of how she was brought to the home of the fetcher's and very father's voice, high and threaded with panic at the thought of taking her back to the orphanage after her fosters sibling where born. "My heart keeps racing and my throat hurts while screaming here nothing seems to ease a bit"

"Vera..." be murmured, clearly frustrated. His hand ran down her body--her arms and then her legs. There was nothing familiar in his touch, simply a quick pat and am examined look checking for any wound or scar.

She leaned forward and touched his arms before he reached her feet "Its nothing serious" she said "Just a bit scratch"

He froze "Why are you doing this to yourself vera. Take a look at your body..." He turned her around, checking for any other breaks. "Have you gone to the doctor?"

She shook her head. She did not want to go anywhere near a doctor talk less of the hospital. "Its just a little cut. I will be fine" She reassured with a quick smile.

He shook his head "This isn't something funny vee" he said grimly as he handed her a handkerchief for her face. "Why do this to yourself"

She wiped off her years and then dropped her purse on a chair "I can't feel anything. Its as if my body is addicted to pain" She released a bitter laugh, a laugh enough to make his heart clench for her.

She shrugged "Maybe this is my chance to die. My days is nearer"

His mouth hung slightly open at her words and shut it. She could see the way his brow puckered when he was worried. He brushed her last statement off, obviously diverting it.

"Can you stand?"

She nodded. He gripped her hand, but there was something between their palms. He opened her palm and noticed few cuts and congealed blood stained on the fresh open wound.

"I am sorry" he said. "I didn't realize you had a bruise there too"

"I told you, I can't feel pain. I am happy..." she extended her arms wide, rounding in circles "...that it would embrace me, and grant me that opportunity, a long wishing one--"

"Enough vera!" he roared with a clench fist, enough to startle her. "Stop this madness of yours... Do you think death can stop the pain and sorrow you are going through...come on!! answer me, huh?!" he yelled angrily "If you feel like you are losing everything, remember that...trees lose their leaves every year and still stand tall and wait for better days to come. Why would you be an exemption!"

At his last sentence, she broke down to tears and began to cry, and once the tears come, it would not stop.

He tried to speak to her. She couldn't understand the words, but she heard his tone. He sounded like a brother that he always was.

In the end, hugo simply swept her legs out from the floor, carrying her out of the parlor. She didn't know where he was taking her to but frankly, she didn't care. His arms were wide enough to cover her in whole, his voice was soothing, but the comfort in his voice was the same. His touch like brother-like, was tender and she wanted nothing more than to be held like this...at least, forever.


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