Chapitre 39: Past - 22 Her hidden desires (2)

'Please please please don't start hating.' While thinking that from her small bag she took out a red leather whip along with a fancy handcuff and a red silicone vibrator. 'Oh, God, why was I doing this?'

With his eyes staring at Regina's hand with disbelief, Jason swallowed a mouthful. "Yo... whe... wh... ho..."

"Jason, I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. I just thought... I just want us to be more closer. I just think maybe it can bring us more closer." She tried to explain herself mixed with some lies. She hated that she had to lie, but she did want to lose Jason too.

She was not sure if she could tell Jason about all of her fantasies. How he will react, maybe he will start thinking that she was missing her old days in the nightclub, maybe he will start thinking of her as a sex-maniac. She did not want to risk it, one step at a time. "If only you would like.."

"Jason, I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. I just thought... I want us to be more closer. I just think maybe it can bring us more closer." She tried to explain herself mixed with some lies. She hated that she had to lie, but she did want to lose Jason too. She was not sure if she told Jason her fantasies, how he will react, maybe he will start thinking that she was missing her old days in the nightclub, maybe he will start thinking of her as a sex-maniac. She did not want to risk it, one step at a time. "If only you would like."

Jason's face was unreadable, looking at her for a whole while he opened his mouth. "Babe, you want us to try these?"

Hurriedly Regina shook her head. "No. No. Not all the time. We can use these just sometimes... If you like."

Jason came closer to her. His eyes were focused on the silicone vibrator in her hand. She could definitely see a strange light in his eyes but she was not sure if it was a good thing for her or a bad thing.

His hand slowly and nervously reached to that at least inches long thing in her hand. "Have you ever used it?" With a gulping sound coming from his throat, his hand slowly touched that thing.

Regina was unsure about what was going inside his mind, mortified she closed her throat.

'He will love it. Showing him these things will make him more excited. He'll definitely not mind.' These thoughts were running in her mind. She had thought these earlier. But seeing his reaction right now she just wanted to slap herself, but she stood completely still, horrified and waiting to hear whatever he might say.

He was not saying anything except looking at the things in her hand. She finally showed him her desires and now she had risked the love of Jason.

"Am I not enough for you?" He muttered silently without looking at her, instead of focusing his eyes where they had been all this while.

That question gave Regina the feeling she couldn't explain. It was something more than pain, it was hurting more than she had ever imagined. Silently her heart shattered into millions of pieces. She understood, he was no longer thinking about her or the things in her hand, he was not even thinking of what she said a few minutes ago before that, these were just for more enjoyment and for being more closer. It was no longer bout her needs.

Inside him, he was just comparing him and thinking about him. He had forgotten her words earlier and had started thinking about him. Regina was sure that now she had made him doubt himself, made him think he was not

good enough for that'd why she use these and had now got so addicted to them that now she wanted Jason to accept them too.

'Shit. I was so stupid.'

"Forget it, Jason. It was a stupid idea. I just want you, okay? Please, don't hate me." Throwing the things on her in sadness mixed with anger and disappointment she said.

He shook himself, hands falling to his sides. His gaze clouded as he stared at the floor. She remembered that look. knew that look and it was not good for her, she remembered that too. "Babe, you have me. But if you think what we do is not enough then..."

"Nooooo!" With tears falling from her eyes she fell in his embrace, pushing him to the bed.

"What we do is enough for me. You are more than enough for me. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I am stupid for buying these things. So please forgive me and forget about this. Please?" Now, she was the one horrified of Jason leaving her, terrified of losing his only family and being alone again.

"You're enough. More than enough. Jason, please don't."

His eyes dropped to her breasts, biting his lip. Ever so slowly, he caressed the soft mound. "It's killing me to think I'm not giving you what you need." His finger dipped lower, finding her nipple inside the bra.

Her breathing started getting rougher, even though so many emotions shook her violently from within inside her, her body started becoming hot by that touch.

"You're stunning. I always knew you were out of my league, and seeing you in this lingerie makes me realize how sexy and beautiful you are." His voice dropped with husky undertones as he continued to touch her. "I'm not sure I can keep up with you."

His hand dropped from her breast, skirting her stomach, dragging her into a suffocating embrace. She did not stop him, she let him squeeze the

life out of her. She needed him to convince her that he was not leaving, that just now she did not just ruin their relationship.

"All I need is you. Honestly, none of that matters. I love you, Jason. I love being with you, I am content, so happy, when I'm with you," she said while her chest ached in pain.

Jason pulled away, eyes turbulent with embarrassment and need. She reached up, pressing her lips against his. He kissed her, then started biting her back as she wished him to with ferocity, violence bordering on pain.

Her moans repeatedly started escaping her mouth, wrapping her hands in his hair, tugging closer. That was what I wanted all that while, passion mixed with pain.

He broke the kiss, breathing hard. "So, all of this? Can we pretend it never happened?"

Relief ballooned in my chest. The sadness disappeared, but still not sure about disappointment. She just felt relieved that she had not ruined their relationship. "Yes please."

He exhaled loudly, kissing her on the forehead, he said, "Thank you for loving me enough to take what I can give."

Her entire body vibrated with remorse. She could not reply.

Jason reached behind and undid her bra. He drew it off her breasts slowly, dipping his head to suck her nipple. Heat exploded in her core.

She was happy that he still loved her. That's all that mattered to her. Nothing else. Not violent sex, or spicing up the bedroom.

She bit his collarbone and he groaned. He shifted so his rapidly hardening erection pressed into her belly.

Trembling, she pulled his jeans down his hips. He arched upright, helping her get them off. Once he sprung free, he ripped off the thin stocking she had worn a few minutes ago and threw them to the floor then settled between her thighs, gaze locking at her breasts. She bit her lips as he pressed himself inside. She was still not that wet as she should have been so when his cock entered inside, it caused pain, a pleasurable pain.

His eyes snapped closed as he settled deep inside. His cock, stretching and filling, sent waves of pleasure and passion. Her nipples ached for attention, as she wished his bite roughly to them just a little, just for reaching climax.

"Babe..." he breathed in her ear, picking up speed. His hips pressed harder and she fought the urge to touch herself, to help reach orgasm.

"Jason..." In pleasure, she closed her eyes.

With another thrust, he moaned, his back shuddering as his butt clenched hard. He came inside, wave after wave of ecstasy for him showing his acceptance for her.

"Jason..." Saying that she stroked his chest, so happy he was able to find release after everything she had put him through.

Still, inside her, he collapsed on top, sandwiching her between his bulk and the mattress.

"Babe, let's do..."

She stared at his head while battling so many emotions.

Jason huffed, snuggling his face into her ample breasts.

"Let's do this time from... Babe?!" He became dull inside her, the previous hardness was nowhere to be found. The previous length had shrunk.

"Jason?!"

Within moments, he was fast asleep, leaving her lonely and confused.