Chapitre 83: Dorms

"I can't believe you told her that!" Kaminari shouts with a shocked laugh as we walk to the dorm building for class 1-A together. Jiro isn't with us, courtesy of noping the heck out of the infirmary after I told Recovery Girl what Aizawa wanted her to do to me.

She didn't believe me, of course, and said that she'd be more than happy to do an x-ray instead. Which didn't work out very well since I injected lead into my bones after the last time I died. Do I care about the incredible likelihood that I have lead poisoning because of this? Not at all! From what I remember, it mainly causes a bunch of debilitating pain in different parts of the body. Since I don't feel pain, I'm basically immune! It's not like it affects memory or anything important!

Anyway, since the x-ray didn't work, she asked me why exactly Aizawa wanted a cavity search (the more boring way to say it). I mentioned that I hid a knife up there before I showed up at the Sports Festival, she didn't believe me, and, well…

The end result is that I did not have a little old lady putting her hand inside my butt. Which is a shame for UA since I did in fact put more than a single knife up there! Which is probably where I got the one I was waving around before the exercise, now that I think of it. But I still don't remember actually grabbing it.

Whatever. I told Recovery Girl what Aizawa wanted, she refused. It's not my problem anymore. Well, technically it is? Sort of? The part where I have a knife isn't my problem, at least. That's a problem for the faculty and students.

I shake the thoughts from my head. The point is; since I didn't get any dubious form of sexual gratification (not that I'm actually attracted to Recovery Girl, I have my limits), I ended up just lazing around while waiting for Kaminari to wake up. Why did I wait for him to wake up?

Because I don't know where the dorms are.

I spent all my time between the Sports Festival and now stuck in the prison/isolated infirmary located within the bowels of UA, so I actually don't know my way around the school yet. Sure, I knew where the infirmary was well enough to get there from the locker room, but that's only because I got lost and ended up there three times while looking for the classroom!

"Guide me well, Kaminachiko!"

"Where did that come from!?"

I chuckle at his reaction, putting my hands behind my head while we walk. "So what're the dorms like? Chaotic? Boring? Did someone put a satanic ritual circle in the basement?"

Kaminari rolls his eyes at my ignoring of his exclamation but answers all the same. "It's pretty cool. Koda has a pet bunny that he'll let us pet as long as he's around to supervise, and Sato is always baking stuff!"

"Hmm." I start rubbing my chin. "Roasted rabbit sandwich?"

"Dude, no! That's fucked up on so many levels!"

"Only if you feed it to the owner!" I counter with a raised finger. Seeing the horrified look still not leaving his face, I roll my eyes and gesture down at myself. "Besides, villain. Y'know, doing cruel and unusual things just because I want to? Depending on how dramatic the nearby heroes are, I would be 'the very incarnation of evil'?"

He just rolls his eyes and waves me off. "Dude, there's a big difference between villain and… what you said. "

I huff at him and cross my arms before looking away. "...It's not like I was actually going to cook and eat his pet." I think about it for a moment. "Unless I end up hating them. Or I'm hungry. Or there's a bet. A dare? Mmm, maybe for a dare, depending on if I'm on a streak or not."

I look back at the blonde boy and see him deadpanning at me. "The sad part is that I can't tell if you're joking or serious."

I chuckle before sticking my tongue out at him. "The world may never know… But the world sucks so I don't really care."

He stares at me for a moment as we come to a stop in front of a large brown building before throwing his hands up and walking to the doors. "You know what, I think that's enough of that for me today."

I snort and follow him, barking out a laugh when he shoves the doors wide open and shouts while striding inside. "Careful, everyone! Crazy coming in hot!"

"I appreciate the compliment, but you aren't my type~."

"You couldn't handle me." He rebuts without turning back, continuing his journey to the stairs located in the back of the… lobby?

The first floor of the dorm building is essentially a really large studio apartment: Living room directly to the left of the entrance, followed by the dining area sandwiched between it and the kitchen. There aren't many students around at the moment, just the girls from what I can tell.

Let's see… Mina Ashido, Tsuyu Asui, Ochako Uraraka, Kyoka Jiro, Momo Yaoyorozu, Toru Hagakure, and… her. Other than Dark Shadow, who is stuck with Tokoyami, and Shoko that accounts for all of them. Probably having a girls night, or whatever it is a group of girls do together without any boys around.

…I just realized that the closest I've ever had to a 'guys night' with the LoV is pulling an all-nighter to game with Shiggy.

Anyways, since I am decidedly male, I ignore them and walk towards the stairs to hunt for my room. Since I've been told nothing about its location, that means I'll be knocking on each and every door and antagonizing the occupants! I wonder if I can get Kachan expelled for attacking me? I mean, he's been trying all day and nobody has said anything, so probably not.

Just as I put a foot on the first step though, I'm suddenly rammed by a dark shape crowing to the world. "FREEDOM! CAW CAW BITCHES!"

"AMERICA!" I shout while flying back. Then I'm back outside on the path leading into the dorms, staring up at the sky. "Welp. I guess I'll die then."

"Mood."

I glance over and see a tired looking boy with violet mad scientist hair staring at me with tired confusion. "Why'd you get launched out of the building?"

I shrug, not bothering to get up. "For FREEDOM."

He just stares at me silently for a moment. His eyes close in a slow, desynchronized blink as he contemplates my not at all confusing answer. I mean, what would be confusing about FREEDOM?

He opens his mouth to say something, but gets interrupted when a dark streak shoots out of the still open dorm doors and hovers over me. "Oh crap! Sorry 'bout that, 'sagi. I was too excited and didn't realize there was anybody on the stairs!"

I wave a hand to dismiss Dark Shadow's concerns. "It's fine, I'm not hurt or anything. Also; obligatory 'kinky' comment." I blink as my words cause a thought to pop into my head, and it's out of my mouth before I can even bother to try and think it through. Along with several others.

"Do you have reproductive organs? Can you separate from Tokoyami for any length of time? If you don't have reproductive organs, would you gain them in the theoretical separation? Would you grow legs too or float or fly like a bird? Do you want reproductive organs? You seem to be able to alter your shape to some extent, so could you add them or take them away as you want? If you eat something, does your body need to convert it to waste? Or does every part of whatever you eat get turned into nutrients and transferred to Tokoyami? Does his body take the nutrients your body would need to grow more powerful? Is your bird form because of the mutation that turned his head into that of a bird? Or is his bird head the result of you taking a bird form? What about-"

"CAW BITCH!" My mutter storm is abruptly cut off due to Dark Shadow's sudden screech, and she prevents any possibility of me resuming said mutter storm by wrapping herself around my entire body and dragging me back inside the building, the doors closing behind us with an ominous thud.

`~`

"...What. The. Hell." Hitoshi Shinso stands outside the dorm building that holds the hero students for 1-A when he says these words. This building isn't his destination though, he'd just been passing by on his way to his own dorm after leaving one of UA's gyms. Eraserhead -the Eraserhead!- is having him build up his muscles before he starts personally training him.

And then some guy with green hair came flying out of the building, the bird quirk he saw in the finals followed him, the guy started talking -sheesh, probably way more than a mile a minute- then the bird gave an unholy screech and dragged him back into the building.

So he repeats: What. The. Hell.

"Should… I tell someone?" He stares at the closed doors for a moment, contemplating whether or not this is something that needs to be reported. He stays like that for a few minutes, and when he doesn't hear any screams of pain, terror, etc, he shrugs and continues on his way to his own dorm.

"I'm too tired for this shit. I need more coffee."

Nearby, unbeknownst to the gen ed student, a girl with long dual colored hair watches through a pair of binoculars while holding a stereotypical listening device, a heavy set of headphones covering her ears to transmit his words. When he starts walking, she quickly hooks the microphone portion to her belt and lowers the headphones.

"I knew it," Shoko Todoroki says as she pulls out a notebook that was tucked into her waistband. Unlike her long-time friend, she lacks the ability to seemingly pull them from thin air and make them vanish. But that doesn't bother her, she's sure their children will be able to do the same thing as their father.

She forcefully shakes her head to dispel those thoughts. "Bad Shoko. Investigation now, motherhood planning later." She flips through the notebook until she gets to a page with a poor rendition of Shinso, the two pages after it filled with the evidence she's found.

"Tired, like Aizawa-sensei. Coffee addiction, like Aizawa-sensei. They spend time together after school." She nods her head, happy with what she's observed today. She looks at her dorm building, hesitating for a moment before sighing heavily and moving to continue following the indigo haired boy. "Izuku gives his all to analyzing quirks. How can I be his future wife if I don't give it my all to ensuring everyone knows that Hitoshi Shinso is Aizawa-sensei's secret love child?"