(A/N: Mmm, yeah, them comments hitting gud, boys and girls. Now keep 'em coming while uncle here hasn't unzipped his pants.)
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"So, why are we buying all this cereal?" Max said, looking at the five boxes of sumo smacks cereal Alistair and Gwen placed in the shopping cart. Fortunately for Ben, the two had agreed to keep what happened a secret, so Max was genuinely just confused. Why would they need cereal when they had his special breakfast of worm soup?
"Oh, nothing. Ben saw that a kid had gotten his favorite trading card that he had been looking for from these boxes. So he figured he'd try his luck." Alistair covered for his troublesome friend, who had his arms folded grumpily :"And we wouldn't have needed to get five of them either if Gwen and Alistair hadn't butted in with their big butts."
'If I had a nickel for every time that Ben called Gwen's butt big, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice. Ben, Alabama...?'
Leaving Max even more confused. But used to them quarreling, he just decided to continue shopping leaving the trio to themselves. Gwen glared at Ben :"Hello, you were trashing the whole serial aisle just to find some stupid piece of cardboard!"
'Hohoho, you're playing a dangerous game, Gwen. Don't let any Yu-Gi-Oh player hear that.'
Alistair :"Ben, I understand that you have a hobby. But now you're just acting obsessed for no reason. You could have literally just bought them from someone for a lot less than what we'd have to pay for if I wasn't here."
Ben :"Maybe you're right, Al. I don't deserve a gold sumo slammer card. *Annoyed* I mean, it's not like I rescued a bunch of people from a burning building or anything like that!"
Gwen :"Superhero guilt: pretty low."
Ben, smirking :"Hey, whatever it takes."
Alistair, holding his forehead :"You goddamn idiot... you're so stupid..."
Ben, glaring :"Why are you so annoyed with this anyway if it's just a piece of cardboard?"
Alistair :"I'm not annoyed at what you did, I'm annoyed at how freaking stupid you were at doing it, you idiot! Like, seriously, Grey Matter?!"
Ben, confused :"What? What are you talking about?"
Alistair :"You literally have an alien ghost that can turn invisible and phase through things! If not that, you have an alien that can go faster than sound! Yet instead of those, you picked Grey Matter?! For what, because he was tiny?! You could have literally looked into the boxes without even touching them and gotten what you wanted without anybody seeing you, or just searched all of them in seconds and put them in their place! You're so stupid it's not even funny, dude!"
Ben :"Oh..."
Gwen, confused :"Are you scolding him or encouraging him?"
Alistair :"If he's going to do something, he might as well do it right! If he had, we wouldn't be in that mess to begin with."
Gwen :"Uh huh... Ben, although I don't completely agree with his logic, he's got a point. You were stupid in your choice."
Ben, awkward :"Ahem ahem, who said I hadn't already thought about that. Obviously I was going to do just that, but the watch gave me the wrong aliens."
Alistair :"Uh huh, sure, and I'm ugly."
"Ugh, you're so grumpy! Whatever, I'm going after grandpa." As Ben walked grumpily, Gwen noticed Alistair looking behind him. Specifically, at his own butt. She raised an eyebrow :"What are you doing?" He turned to her, unsure and pouting a bit :"I don't actually have a big butt, do I...?"
She smirked, looking at his shapely butt :"Actually, no, you do." Noticing his pout growing, with a blush appearing too, she snickered as she started walking :"Guess Ben can say some smart things after all."
'These two brats...' Embarrassed, he frowned. Looking back for a moment, his shoulders slumped, sighing :'I hope these two are just trying to be annoying... being a superhero with a bubble butt would be way too embarrassing...' And followed after them. But when Ben saw something sumo slammer card related, he quickly went off to check it out.
He was ignored. Only getting a glare from Gwen as she walked with Max and Alistair. "Let's check out the pet department." Max looked at the two, and Gwen panicked :"Please tell me you aren't looking for our breakfast."
Max :"What nonsense are you saying, Gwen."
Gwen sighed in relief.
Max :"I can't cook living animals. I have to buy the processed ones."
Gwen, disgusted :"I totally walked into that one..."
Alistair, patting her shoulder :"Don't worry, we've stocked up on actual food for a few days. If cereal counts, at least."
Gwen :"Ugh, this makes me feel like letting Ben mess around isn't such a bad thing..."
"Kukuku." He snickered :'By the way, isn't this the episode Dr Animo is supposed to show up in? When is that lunatic going to come? I crave asses to kick.' And just then, the sound of something hitting the ground came :'Yes, the ass gods have heard me!'
Smiling evilly, craving the high of the hunt and violence, he turned to see a giant frog with four eyes and horns landing meters away from them, with a man riding it. Nonsexually, of course. Max and Gwen gasped at the sight, and the man reached out to the circular machine on his chest.
Turning it, an eclectic bridge was created between the horns of his helmet, before it was shot at the group. "Ahh!" Max and Gwen screamed as the veteran pushed the kids away from the lightning, causing it to hit the hamster in the cage.
Instantly, it began to grow rapidly, mutating into a monster from an adorable fluff ball. Now the size of a dog, it jumped up, and eyed the trio hungrily. Something that irked Alistair the wrong way for some reason. It didn't attack however. It seemed to obey the commands of the man who had mutated it, Dr Aloysius Animo. The man who shot another electric laser at a beautiful parrot next, turning it into a giant bird, even bigger than the frog. The poor hamster was only one tiny one.
"Arise to your full potential, my pets!" Dr Animo cheered. From the corner of his eye, the noiret saw his buddy arriving. But couldn't pay much attention to him. Not because they were in danger. But because the way the fucking hamster was looking at him was genuinely making him angry.
"Huh? Oh, man. What kind of pet food are they selling around here?" Ben gasped. As his mutated monsters stood to his sides, with him sitting on top of one, Dr Animo looked pretty smug :"Behold the genius of Dr Animo. Nothing can stop me from getting what I deserve. Mark my words! Today, I will make history, or should I say, prehistory?"
"Booo!" Alistair gave a thumbs down, causing the lunatic to glare :"Nobody boos Dr Animo! Especially not brats like you!" Said brat scoffed :"Oh, please. Get off of that fugly thing and even the prehistorians would roast your ass."
"Al, I really think you shouldn't antagonize the villain with a monster army!" Gwen panicked. And for emphasis, said monsters took a step forward in intimidation. But all it did was piss him off. He could feel a vein popping on his neck as his lips twitched in annoyance.
"Ah, Alistair, I really think this is a good time to go hunting or something!" Gwen shook his shoulders. Reaching out to his Nemetrix, he basically just growled :"Don't need to tell me twice." His pushed the activated watch down, and Gwen cursed herself for being so close to him.
"Graaar!" Predator, the Vulpimandor predator of the Vulpimancer species, slammed down his claws on the ground, cracking it as he growled at the mutants. Instinctively afraid, they backed off, while Dr Animo looked at Predator in amazement :"Remarkable... How did you do that?! No, you don't need to answer. I'll get them myself out of your corpse when I capture you!"
"GRAAAR!" The beast roared in rage, launching at the hamster. It screeched, biting at the beast. But all it got was shattered teeth and a bleeding mouth thanks to the protruding scales. Roaring, he stabbed with his claws, causing it to screech in pain as he picked it up and slammed it so hard it bounced to meters away.
"GRAAAR!" Predator instantly turned to Dr Animo, who flinched unconsciously, before jumping onto the parrot when he attacked the frog. The monstrous frog attacked with its tongue, but Predator dodged, and bit the tongue. It screamed, trying to retract its hurting tongue. However, the real pain came when Predator flexed his claws, and severed the tongue he was restraining.
But he wasn't done. Before it could pull back its tongue, Predator grabbed onto it. With his claws for maximum sadism, and pulled hard enough to have the frog come shooting towards him. The tongue nearly getting ripped in the process. With the frog fast approaching, he jumped straight into its stomach, and began tearing it apart from inside out.
Whether it was with his claws, fangs, tail or scales, he used everything in his arsenal of natural weaponry to rip it apart piece by piece. The frog's screams of agony filled the place, and the trio gasped at the viciousness. Even Dr Animo, a lunatic, was taken aback.
Sure, Alistair wasn't really the gentle type when fighting. Broken bones and smashed teeth were the least villains, robbers and such had to worry about. But they had never seen him act with such a resolve to kill. To absolutely mutilate. Not like an animal that did so because of hunger. But like a predator, simply because he could.
The pained wailing of the frog drew weaker and weaker, until it finally collapsed, not to rise again. And from its corpse, a bloody clawed arm burst open, before he tore his way out and set his nonexistent eyes on Dr Animo, who trembled at the sight of the beast drenched in blood and organs.
"Mindless fool, you cannot stop me!" He pointed accusingly :"I will turn Washington, DC into Washington, BC!" And before the monster could attack, he flew away on the back of his monstrous parrot.
'I should kill you just because of your retarded jokes.' Predator growled :'Like, what the hell are you going to do? Bring back Jesus? At least make jokes that have meanings. What your life doesn't have. Damn it, this is why I dislike the fact my predators can't speak. I couldn't roast him and have the last laugh.'
"Shaaa!" With a sudden screech, the mutated hamster leaped onto him, trying to slash at him with its claws. Predator could have just stood there and relished in the sound of its claws and fingers breaking, but he didn't like his current toy.
Merely pulling back to dodge, he opened his mouth so wide he bit off more than half of the monstrous hamster's neck when he went for the kill. Even as life was already leaving it, it wasn't enough. He started twisting it left and right so much and so hard its body and head were eventually disconnected.
As its body flew away, crashing into an aisle and knocking it down, with a scoff, Predator ate the head in his mouth completely in just a few bits. Hurray for predators' fast and efficient eating and digestion. With the hunt down, he calmed down with a huff, and turned to the trio. Just to see Ben and Gwen looking a bit pale while covering their mouth and looking away, barely holding themselves back from throwing up.
Probably had something with how bloody he was. Or the bladder on his shoulder. Or the heart stuck to his tail. Probably all of them. Yup, definitely all of them, and then some. Max looked fine though. Not surprising, considering his experience. He nodded at the veteran, before he took a run for it. But as he escaped from where Animo had come from, he located a certain something with his echolocation.
Something golden.
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Far away, a certain white haired lady was spying with far too advanced of binoculars, a giant smile etched on her beautiful face :'Oh, my goodness! Just look at how domineering and viscous he was! Mmm, he looked so freaking cool! As expected of my Al, he really knows how to deal with things quickly! Oh, how I wish I could help him. But I can't complain either, the sight of him going wild like that is sooo good!'