Chapitre 12: OMEGA IN DENIAL

RAIN

He leaves me on the bed and I feel like the worst person in the whole world.

I wanted him to fuck me and be with him, but it was too much. I can feel the bites and the blood all over me. I can still feel the desire I have for him coursing through my blood.

So why did I stop him? Why did I beg him to stop and cry?

Why did I feel like the minute he entered me he would lose interest and then despite the mating bond finally completing, he would leave me and find me unbearable?

Because the one person I thought I could keep by giving my body to always left. He would fuck me and then leave. He would tell me I was nothing and I wasn't enough for him.

Is it wrong for me to want to keep the mystery alive, by denying Liam just this one thing to lengthen our relationship?

The sobs shake my body and I feel even more disgusted as I palm myself and start rubbing as I think of him, how he held me with so much desire I thought he would consume me whole.

I think of his strong hands pressing and squeezing me, I think of his bites and the way he ravaged my lips and body, as he pressed his huge cock against my opening.

I wanted it so bad. Oh god I did, I knew it would feel so painful and so good too. He is so big I would feel him fill me up to my stomach and I want to choke on it, feel it destroying my insides, leaving nothing but a bloody mess on the sheets.

I want him to fuck me senselessly until I pass out and when I wake up, to stuff my mouth with his huge veiny cock, as I feel my lips widen and my throat choking on it.

The thoughts make me rub even faster and I feel my body tightening and I come all over my hands and abdomen, all while crying.

I am so messed up, but I can't allow him to see me like this. I can't ever allow Liam, the angel who has saved me see that I am a slut, a whore, and a wanton who succumbs to pleasure with everything in me.

I get up and clean myself and then the bed, to make sure that when he comes, he will not notice the naughty things I have done when he left me; that I have remained as pure as he sees me.

But he doesn't come for a long time and I start to wonder if my plan and façade is miscalculated. Liam is my mate and his wolf needs to be mated to me or else he will find another one and discard me like yesterday's trash.

I don't have anyone in this whole world, and even the cruel evil Dante is dead. If I lose Liam, I am going to be alone.

The thought makes me feel sick and I curl on the bed, my damning thoughts tormenting me.

When the door unlocks and Liam walks in, I feel the tight ache in my chest lessen. When he looks at me with only love and regret, it completely fades away.

I can never lose him, because he is the only person who loves me. Even I don't love myself, but he does. I will do everything to keep it that way.

"I am sorry, I will behave and be good, I won't fight against it. I want you Liam," I crawl on the bed, to get closer to him.

He looks at me with a pained expression and I fear he is going to say no. But he comes to me and hugs me, holding me tightly as if afraid I will disappear.

"I am sorry too, I shouldn't have crossed the boundaries we set. I told you I would wait for you and I have already broken that promise. I am the worst."

"no, you aren't, I started it all," I look at him, my eyes drinking him in, and I run my hands all over his shoulders and neck. "I want you, Liam. You don't have to wait anymore. I only want you, but …," I bite my lip looking away.

"But what?"

"I am afraid that you won't want me anymore once we do it. I am afraid you won't desire me anymore."

"If anything, I won't ever get enough of you," he inhales me and his eyes turn crimson again.

"Can you promise me that?' I whisper as I trail my eyes on his lips.

"I promise to never get enough, I will be insatiable when it comes to you, you can see it already baby," he whispers as he takes my hand and presses it on his already hard length through the clothes. "But I am not going to force you on anything."

"You are not forcing me," I shake my head when he starts to get away.

My body is so messed up that the only way I get turned on is if it's forced when it is dangerous and pain is involved.

Of course, I can never tell him that even though I am saying no, my body wants him the most. Wanting to be pushed to the very edge and then played with until I can't feel anything but the numbing pain mixed with the intense pleasure coursing through my wrecked body.

Liam is my sun, my daylight to my darkness. I can never bring him over to the brokenness and the darkness in my world. I want him to love me and bring me over to the daylight. I want to feel what daylight feels like, how it feels like to have normal healthy sex, and how it feels to be loved and cherished.

How it feels to be worshipped in bed and loved on.

Liam pushes me on the bed, lying on me his eyes hooded. His eyes are pure adoration and lust. He is looking at me with such vulnerability and worship I get turned on so fast. An alpha bearing such feelings and being like this to an omega … it's a heady feeling.

He takes my nipples in his mouth, sucking and then looking up at me with such desire, I forget that I didn't want this. "I am not going to fuck you tonight, but I need to feel you and taste you, or I will go crazy baby."

I don't say anything, only looking at him, and my fingers run through his hair.

When he takes my other nipple in his mouth and starts to suck, while his right palm squeezes my globes, as the other wraps around my neck, his body flush with mine on the bed, I let go.

Liam descends and starts to remove the boxer shorts I am wearing, all while looking at me with worship and lust, when they are finally off, he takes me with his mouth and I let a gasp, closing my eyes.

Pleasure as I have never known zips through my body that I throw my neck backward, letting myself feel him and his mouth on me, the way he is sucking and licking me. I look at him, and I find him watching me, and it completely hooks me right in.

We watch each other, desire emitting in the air, wet sounds of his lips and my cock on his mouth sounding in the whole room. He is sucking me off and taking my length as if it's his dinner and he is a starving man. When he takes my balls and starts to play with them, all while massaging my bottom, I let out a moan, not able to control my voice.

I can feel myself coming, and he can taste it as well because he moans in abandon, the hum vibrating through me. I feel the spark tightening between us heightening the desire and the lust… I can't control it when I finally come.

He takes me and swallows it all, the sight and feeling so heady I am left light-headed.

He crawls above me, licking his lips, and captures mine in his, tasting myself on his sweet lips. His weight crashes me and I wrap my legs around his waist, my body seeming to want more of Liam and that's when I feel the wetness of the shorts he is wearing.

Liam came as he was having me in his mouth and that makes pleasure and delight race through me. I didn't know someone could be so turned on to come while pleasuring the other.

I don't know what makes me bite his neck, hard and draw blood. I claim Liam as mine and mine only, because I will never let him go.

This man is awakening something within me, and it's dirty and erotic, also protective and submissive under his touch and gaze. I feel the sparks between us snap and I gasp, looking at Liam in surprise at the sudden heightened connection I feel with him.

"We are finally mated to each other," he murmurs, desire still coating his voice, making it deep and sultry, I can feel myself hardening against him all over again.

"I can feel you, so close to me now. I can't explain it, but I feel like I have known you my whole life and if you ever die, I will die with you. I can't even imagine not being with you," I whisper as we look at each other, faces inches apart. "Is that crazy?"

"No, that's our mating bond. That's me and you being mates. I feel the final puzzle in myself is finally complete," he nuzzles my neck and I sigh contentedly.

He is mine now, and forever. I can feel the protectiveness and ownership and the sense of belonging settling in my bones.

I am finally home.

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