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A Serenade for the Innocent Langue source

A Serenade for the Innocent

Horror 135 Chapitres 722.1K Affichage
Auteur: blairehawthorne

4.75 (39 audimat)

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Synopsis

A series of short stories about the horrors of the material world, the fear of the unknown, and a general glimpse of the fragility of the human psyche.

Witness the tales of several people as they face adversaries beyond human comprehension. Where does the monster truly lies: inside or outside?

If two worlds collide, both will reign in each other's chaos. Do you place your trust in your own understanding of the world? Welcome dear visitor, welcome to a spectacle you never know of.

----

"And then I saw it.

Taking his phone is not a wise decision after all.

Even my jaw dropped and my brows furrowed after seeing it. I understand. The hasty beating of my heart fills my body with unfathomable chill because I completely understand now."
- a short excerpt from Vol. 1, A Serenade for the Innocent

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  1. blairehawthorne
    blairehawthorne Contribué 2795
  2. masterofthehouse
    masterofthehouse Contribué 1705
  3. hxjabduxja
    hxjabduxja Contribué 1560

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    39Critiques

    4.75

    • Qualité de la traduction
    • Stabilité des mises à jour
    • Développement de l’histoire
    • Conception des personnages
    • Contexte du monde

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    Chryiss

    Writing Quality: Above Average Update Stability: Great Story Development: Above Average Character Design: Average World Background: Above Average Good grammar, few typos and errors overall. It might be due to you rewriting the first story though. While the writing is technically/grammatically sound, and there’s a relatively good range of vocabulary used, the prose and style feels lacking. But it lacks not because there’s now enough “stuff,” but because there’s too much. Surprisingly, for once, it feels like there’s too much self-introspection in the first person narrative. This connects a bit with the character design portion. The first story describes Margaux from her point of view too much. There’s paragraphs of how she views herself as above everyone else and being annoyed that she’s interested in a guy like John/being beaten in “popularity” and “fame” compared to her Student President Status. Even though I find her character generally unlikable, I don’t detract just because she’s not my cup of tea. In fact, there are moments when she’s quite relatable. In regards to writing her, I just simply feel like a lot could be cut about her without losing anything essential; in fact, it would make those details about her less redundant and more impactful overall. There’s also another aspect of the writing that feels off (not off as in wrong, but in that something’s missing which could elevate it to Great). The suspense and horror is generally well done, but again, due to over-focusing, like with her character, it also feels dragged out when it could be condensed to deliver a sharp more frightening impact. In short, the timing is off due to the length of the writing descriptions. More specially on character design. I was on the fence about average or above average. I settled on the former because I realized it’s about design, not depiction. The latter I touched upon in the above section in relation to writing style, while the former is about the strength, originality, and memorableness of the characters. Margaux has a strong, clear character, but it’s too generic. This might be due to the excess of details describing her and her every thought, but her whole character boils down to haughty af. I say this a little jokingly, lightheartedly. Most don’t delve into and focus on such characters, so that view was refreshing. However, the inner struggle she had wasn’t strong enough, which is why I deem her a relatively weak character. She falls too squarely into one category when it would’ve nice to give her more dimension, perhaps elaborate more on her conflicted feelings when John died. That’s the part I looked most forward too, what kind of psychological or emotional struggle would she have when he died after “meddling” with him. But instead of this being dwelled upon in the length that the previous descriptions of her character were, this crucial bit, the climax really, was lacking. This also includes how she went “crazy” when the “monster” chasing John came after her. I would’ve loved more on that. And touching lightly on John, I found him a bit more interesting, he seemed more promising with more potential, but instead he was just diminished to a simple scared prey. I understand this is the horror part, of being reduced to such a state, but it made him ultimately forgetful. Onto the plot and world background specifically, here you shined the most. It’s not common to see horror genres on here, so it was cool to see how went about creating suspense and mystery. With that said, as mentioned before, the “timing was lacking” to make the scariness even more chilling and the “monsters” more intriguing. In conclusion, I think you’re a good writer with good ideas, they just need to be refined to the next level by cutting some parts harshly out while diving more into others. The horror feelings and depictions are promising, but needs quite a bit of polishing. While I mostly focused on the first story in writing this review, I also read-

    Spoiler de révélation
    4yr
    Voir 3 Réponses
    masterofthehouse

    I am SO torn! +1, Porcelain is back which is GREAT! -1, it is also the shallowest and most unnecesarrily goriest, AND I MEAN GORRIEST, volume so far. +1, HOWEVER, it is also, by far, the best written volume BY FAR! -1, and its also the most umm... raunchy volume??? hahahaha! its soooo sexy in ALL the wrong reasons which is exaclty what I should expect from a horror story wahaha +1, author has been writing more frequently nowadays YEESSSS! -1, but not everyday WHICH IS OK BTW HUHUHU I'M NOT PREASSURING YOOUUUU! I'll still give it 5 star anyway LOL I just really wanna make these words heard somehow even if no one would listen waahwaahWAAAHH!

    4yr
    Voir 2 Réponses
    HwaEr
    LV 5 Badge

    Fascinating. Intense Spooky. Dark. And i love it... This is the kind of story(ies) that once you start reading,you ask for more. Not putting pressure to the author,but ,keep it up!!!😊😊😊

    4yr
    Voir 1 Réponses
    Vertgren

    Okay, if the other reviews didn't make you check this story out, then I hope this would. This is a collection of short stories integrated in a single world on how this interesting organization operates. The quality is good overall, it's a goddamn gorefest that makes you want to recheck your preferences, the interactions are nice and overall, and the world itself is still drowned into the unknown so I could say that there's more where this came from. I blame Justin.

    4yr
    Voir 1 Réponses
    ichou
    LV 3 Badge

    So good it's really fantastic and awesome story I read can't wait next chapter *w*) then being more and more intense novel, Very so much enjoyed all in all That's make more sense now

    5yr
    Voir 1 Réponses
    Ashley_Babe

    I completed the first volume of this book. It's so SPOOKY that readers are bound to sit at the edge. I am sure that this book has good potential. Keep up the good work, Author! All of the best for your future endeavors!

    4yr
    Voir 1 Réponses
    Shaniaaay

    I think that these novel has a future so im dropping some stars to show my support! Keep up the good work author-san~ I'll be saving these for the future, and also let the chapters accumulate so i can binge read later.

    5yr
    Voir 1 Réponses
    hxjabduxja

    ☆☆☆☆☆ ☆☆☆☆☆ ☆☆☆☆☆ ☆☆☆☆☆ ☆☆☆☆☆ 5STAR5STAR5STAR5STAR! VERYGOOD!VERYGOOD!VERYGOOD! 5STAR5STAR5STAR5STAR! VERYGOOD!VERYGOOD!VERYGOOD! ☆☆☆☆☆ ☆☆☆☆☆ ☆☆☆☆☆ ☆☆☆☆☆ ☆☆☆☆☆

    4yr
    Voir 2 Réponses
    sweetpea1972

    Awesome novel a must read. 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

    4yr
    Voir 1 Réponses
    animelover1845

    Sorry for that. Thanks. I'll continue to read it. Forgive me. I was drunk and didn't find my words. Please forgive me. .....,...............

    4yr
    Voir 1 Réponses
    animelover1845

    I liked the way you choosed a high school as the plot. Also when you use bad words it gives me chills. And I want to read more of it. Thank you.

    Spoiler de révélation
    4yr
    Voir 1 Réponses
    prophetgroovy

    been following this story for a while now. realized havent madea review yet so why not? for exp new volume is slow compared to others. still good doe previous volueme is better doe

    4yr
    Voir 1 Réponses
    Jasmine_Constance

    how A. M. A. Z. I. N. G. (lololol) thatthe author of this very very very dark story is so sweet! TT__TT makes me love this more! not always active in wn but i will always keep an eye on this story!

    4yr
    Voir 1 Réponses
    half_full

    I'm only in the early chapter but this novel seems really promising and it has been really interesting so far. The writing quality is amazing and it really put our attention in the plot. Good job author!

    4yr
    Voir 1 Réponses
    horrorlover

    too lazy to read the new chaps waaaahahahaha but The Water is seriously a wow i mean wow just its just wow i csnt even explain like what im feeling when I read that volume!!! its that good! definitely a must read. 10/10 is not enough to explain how good that volume was damn

    4yr
    Voir 1 Réponses
    Syphat
    LV 13 Badge

    This one deserve more attention and high ratting than what it have right now. This belong Among the rare novel that must read by everyone who love horror novel. Highly recommended.👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

    5yr
    Voir 1 Réponses
    Hanathiel

    Ah... Me recomendaron tu novela, te doy las 5* ya que con solo la introducción del libro me fascinó tu narrativa, recordé mis ramos de **icología en la universidad... Aun así no leeré la novela ya que no me gusta el género. Pero la síntesis que hiciste es muy atractiva, debo reconocerlo totalmente. Suerte!

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    3yr
    Voir 0 Réponses
    Iamtheking22

    I liked the boook but some part of that book doesn't allow me to give full ratings. I am also not able to tell what's wrong here. Please take it positively author.

    3yr
    Voir 1 Réponses
    Daoist1rvBov

    Hi , This is Tynan, I am an editor from another platform that focuses on adventurous Genre Fictions. After reading your “A Serenade for the Innocent ”, I decided to contact you and if possible, to extend you an invitation on distributing your works. However, there are so little I can talk about it here. If you were interested, please contact me via tynan@ringdomstory.com , then I should take opportunity to discuss it with you in detail. It was a great pleasure to meet your story. Sincerely Tynan

    3yr
    Voir 1 Réponses
    happyneverafter

    MUST READ! MUST READ! MUST READ! MUST READ! MUST READ! READ THIS BOOK! YOU WON'T REGRET IT! 100% AMAZING BOOK! I COMMEND THE BRAVERY OF THE AUTHOR FOR MAKING THIS BOOK!

    4yr
    Voir 1 Réponses