Chapitre 1: Chapter: 0

My name is Yong, I am a 19 year old girl, I am around 172 cm tall, or around 5'8. I got into college, after so many long years which felt like a eternity yet also feels like a breeze. I was the expected girl, I had good grades, I had a group of friends, I always listened to my parents, but it's not right. Everyday I am supposed to push myself until my eyes sting and my heart sinks, just to pass one test and repeat. Each day is harder then the last, I wake up early, I review, I eat so little just to give myself more time, I walk to school surrounded by others who don't have to push as hard, who don't have to try as hard! It's not fair! I do so much more, I suffer more, I do more, just to be the girl that get's used. This isn't fair, why do I have to go through this just for a different, hardly working nuisance to force me, me a person who has worked so hard until I couldn't bear it anymore, just to give my work, my credit to someone else. 4 painful years, I could've told the teachers, but how could I? No, it's not how could I, it's why wouldn't I? I'm pathetic. I'm sorry to everyone because of the girl I am. After graduation I was able to go to a good college, I got my high school diploma, I was going to be an astronomer, I was going to see the stars, until it started again. Pushed harder, I was having trouble even seeing and had to redo my work and readings several time's because of how delirious I was becoming, shapes and pages melding together, the light from my lamp becoming a wave of color upon a jam of words and shapes. Yet I couldn't stop, I needed to continue, I needed, to be better than him...I wanted him to recognize me... my brother to understand me, and that I wanted to be appreciated not just by my parents but him too. I tried, is trying not enough? Why is it not enough, what did I do wrong?