Chapitre 40: Forty
As I emerged from the darkness of slumber, a spark of vitality ignited within me, and I sprang awake with a sense of renewal that was nothing short of astonishing. The fatigue that had weighed me down for what felt like an eternity had vanished, replaced by a radiant energy that coursed through my veins like liquid sunlight. I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, and wondered what sorcery Zane's cigarette had held. Had it been laced with some sort of magical elixir, imbuing me with this newfound vitality? I pushed the thought aside, too grateful for the way I felt to question it. The world seemed brighter, the air fresher, and my heart lighter. I tossed off the covers and began to gather my belongings, the packing a comforting distraction from the lingering emotions of my upcoming departure. As I made my way to the dining hall, the warm scent of freshly baked bread and brewing coffee wafted through the air, enticing me to follow its source. And there, in his usual spot on the balcony, I found Zane, cradling a steaming mug in his hands as he gazed out at the morning light. His eyes seemed lost in thought, his profile chiseled and strong, and for a moment, I simply stood there, drinking in the sight of him.
I felt a flutter in my chest as I reached out, my hand coming to rest on the small of his back. "Thank you for being a gentleman last night. I'm sorry for how I acted."
He turned to me, his gaze softened, and a sly grin spread across his face, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Still want a kiss?"
I rolled my eyes, a laugh bubbling up from my throat. "You wish," I replied, trying to sound nonchalant despite the flutter in my chest. But as our eyes met, I knew I wasn't fooling anyone – least of all myself.
He smiled, but the curve of his lips seemed to falter, like a flame flickering in the wind. His eyes, those piercing orbs that usually shone with warmth and light, remained dim, their sparkle muted. I sensed the weight of unspoken words, the unacknowledged tension that hung between us like a challenge. We both knew what the day held: a journey to the border, where I would leave him behind and meet Lennon. Though I would return to the manor in mere days, the thought of parting felt like a slow, inexorable unraveling of the threads that bound us together. After a breakfast filled with heartfelt goodbyes, Zane, Valen, and I made our way to the border. The air was alive with the sweet scent of blooming wildflowers, and the sun cast a warm glow over the landscape, but my heart was aflutter with anticipation. And then, like a mirage on the horizon, Lennon's figure began to take shape. My heart skipped a beat as I recognized the broad shoulders, the strong jawline, and the familiar tilt of his head. I felt a rush of excitement, a sense of joy that I hadn't experienced in what felt like an eternity. Without thinking, I took off in a sprint, my feet pounding the earth as I hurtled towards him. I launched myself into his arms, wrapping around him in a tight, desperate hug. He caught me with ease, his arms closing around me like a vice, and for a moment, we simply held each other, the world around us melting away. I breathed in the familiar scent of his skin, and felt a sense of homecoming wash over me. But as we stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, I became aware of a presence behind me, a presence that seemed to vibrate with tension. I turned to see Zane's eyes fixed on us, his face a mask of stoicism, but I knew him well enough to sense the turmoil brewing beneath the surface. Valen, too, was watching us, his gaze flicking between Zane and I with a knowing glint in his eye. I felt a pang of guilt, a sense of being torn between two worlds.
But before I could attempt to diffuse the tension, Lennon spoke up, his voice booming across the landscape. "Much appreciated, boys!" he declared, his tone dripping with sarcasm. He stood up straight, his feet snapping together in an exaggerated motion, and locked his knees in a mock salute. "Protect and serve, as long as you're on our side!"
As Lennon's words hung in the air, I could feel the atmosphere shift, the tension between us growing thick and heavy. Valen and Zane's faces were set in stern lines, their eyes flashing with annoyance. I didn't expect Lennon to push their buttons like that, to taunt them with such reckless abandon. I knew he reveled in his bad-boy image, his "fuck the system" attitude, but Valen and Zane were my friends, my allies, and I didn't appreciate seeing them upset. I felt a pang of disapproval, a sense of unease that I couldn't shake. Lennon's teasing seemed unnecessary, a deliberate provocation that only served to heighten the tension. I knew he was trying to assert his dominance, to prove a point, but I didn't appreciate the way he was going about it. As I approached Valen and Zane, I could feel their eyes on me, their expressions guarded. I wrapped my arms around them in a one-armed hug, trying to convey my apology for Lennon's behavior. "I'll be back soon," I whispered, my voice barely audible over the pounding of my heart. Valen's gaze flicked to Lennon, his eyes narrowing in a death stare. Zane, meanwhile, pulled me into him by the elbow, his fingers closing around my arm with urgency. He pressed a piece of paper and a pen into my hand, the same kind he'd used on the balcony. But before I could speak, Lennon let out a low warning growl, his eyes flashing with a possessive intensity. Zane's response was immediate, a dominating rattle that seemed to rumble through the air like thunder. The two of them locked eyes, their gazes burning with a fierce, primal energy.
Then Zane rolled his eyes, returning to look at me and whispered, "Be careful. Send for me if you want to come home early. I don't care what time it is, I'll come get you."
I laughed, trying to reassure him. "It's only two days, I'll be fine," I said, but my words were lost in the tension between us.
As I felt Lennon's presence behind me, his hand closing around my other elbow, I knew that I was being pulled into a different world, one where the rules were different, and the stakes were higher. Zane's gaze never wavered, his eyes burning with a fierce intensity as he stared at Lennon. The air was electric with tension, the two of them locked in a silent, dominating standoff.
Valen's voice cut through the silence, a calm, reasonable tone that seemed to shatter the spell. "We should go," he said, his eyes flicking to Zane.
As Zane met my gaze once more he repeated, "Any time of day or night, I don't care."
I nodded, my heart pounding in my chest. I lifted my arm to hug Zane, hesitating for a moment before letting it fall back to my side. I felt Lennon's dominance rippling off him, a palpable force that seemed to surround me. He pulled me into him, his hand closing around my waist, and began walking us in the opposite direction. As we moved away from the boys, I glanced back, my eyes meeting Zane's. He was staring at me, his gaze burning with a fierce intensity, while Valen stood beside him. Their figures became smaller as we continued walking, and I smiled at Zane, but my smile didn't meet my eyes. He didn't smile back, he only dipped his chin downward, his gaze never leaving mine. Lennon and I walked towards Ozzy in the distance and I brought him up to speed of all that had transpired since I'd last seen him. I regaled him with tales of my new friendships with Sorelle, Thadeus, and the Valtareans. But when I mentioned the Valtareans, Lennon's expression darkened, his lips curling into a snarl.
I seized the opportunity to probe him about his earlier behavior. "Hey, why did you salute them like that?" I asked, my brow furrowing in confusion.
Lennon's laughter was low and husky, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Salute them like what?" he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
I pressed on, sensing that there was more to his reaction than met the eye. "There hasn't been a war in years, why stir the pot? They're just doing their job," I pointed out, trying to keep my tone neutral.
His gaze turned glacial, his voice dropping to a growl. "I see your point, but when 'just doing your job'... " He made air quotes with his fingers, his expression twisted in disgust. "When 'just doing your job' involves killing other Sidhe, that's when I lose respect for the whole system and anyone who abides by it."
I felt a shiver run down my spine as I met his gaze. "Have you ever killed anyone?"
His eyes seemed to cloud over, his expression haunted. "Of course, I trained since I was a young boy. I trained my whole life, but nothing could have prepared me for war. The brutality, the killing, all the needless suffering. The innocents caught in the line of fire. All because some greedy, bigoted fuckers thought they were more entitled than everyone else." His voice cracked, his words tumbling out in a rush. "And yeah, I get that I sound like a hypocrite, but my disdain for war was bred from experience. War isn't honorable, and killing isn't protecting and serving. I know that because I've killed, and it sure as hell didn't feel like protecting and serving."
I listened, entranced, as Lennon's words poured out like a dark, turbulent river. I felt a deep sense of empathy for him, for the pain and the weight he carried.
"But you're glad that your parents won the war, right?" I asked.
His gaze turned inward, his expression complex. "Yeah, of course, I'm glad. I'm glad you weren't alive yet to experience life under the king's reign. I just wish that after centuries of being alive, we could find another way, you know? I mean, why is the solution always killing killing killing? And I get that Valen and Zane didn't deserve that, but every time I see Zane wearing his godsdamned Viya insignia, I get annoyed." His voice was laced with venom, his eyes flashing with anger.
I sensed that there was more to his reaction than met the eye. "What's wrong with the Viya insignia?"
His gaze turned cold, his voice dripping with disdain. "Zane works closely with my father, Cade. They're more like a sperm donor, really. I hardly even know Cade. I was conceived for political reasons. I think seeing Zane wear their insignia probably triggers me or something."
I felt a lump form in my throat as I hesitated, trying to find the right way to tell Lennon about my encounter with Cade. "Lennon... I went to a royal meeting with Thadeus. I'm not really sure how it happened, but Cade wants me to keep them updated on my findings about the runes."
He rolled his eyes, his expression scathing. "Of course, they do. The only time I ever hear from Cade, I'm met with a lecture on how I should return to my birthright and blah blah blah. Not once am I ever asked how I'm doing or what interests me. Cade is all business, I don't think anyone knows the real Cade. Maybe that's where I get it from."
I looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "Get what from?"
"The reclusiveness. No one really knows me except for maybe you. And Zane will never know what it's like to be born and planned for this world like a weapon. And having a parent be alive and well, but barely know them. He will never understand what it's like being a living target, having other Sidhe hate you for being heir to two thrones at no fault of your own. The loneliness of being different amongst a group of Sidhe who are married to social traditions."
I felt a deep sense of understanding wash over me, a sense of connection with Lennon that went beyond words. I looked into his eyes, my gaze burning with empathy. "I know what it's like to be an outsider, and I'm here for you, no matter what, Lennon."
His face softened, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled. "I know that you know, and you have no idea how grateful I am to share that with you."
He tucked me into his side, holding me close as we approached Ozzy. Ozzy's presence filled my heart with warmth, and I sent a mental hug down our bond. I couldn't wait to get to the cottage and relax with Lennon, to let the world slow down and just be. But as we soared over Anahate on Ozzy's back, the warm sunlight casting a golden glow over the landscape, I couldn't shake the feeling of unease that lingered within me. The goodbye with Zane still felt like an open wound, a tender spot that I couldn't quite touch without feeling a pang of discomfort. I had wanted to give him one last hug, to hold him close and reassure myself that everything would be okay, but I had hesitated. It had felt like a moment of truth, a moment when I had to choose between two people I cared deeply about. The memory of Zane's eyes, his gaze burning with intensity as he had whispered those final words to me, still lingered in my mind. I felt a flutter in my chest, a sense of longing that I couldn't quite ignore. It felt unfinished, like a thread that had been left dangling, waiting to be tied off. I took a deep breath, trying to reassure myself that it would only be two days, that I would see Zane again soon. I would have plenty of time with him in the upcoming weeks, and I could make up for lost time then. But for now, I needed to focus on the present, on the time I had with Lennon. I knew that I had to make the most of this time with him, to cherish every moment and not let my thoughts wander back to Zane. So I made a promise to myself, a promise to let go of the what-ifs and the maybes, and to simply enjoy the time I had with Lennon. I would immerse myself in the present moment, in the beauty of the world around me, and in the warmth of Lennon's presence. I would let go of the guilt and the uncertainty, and I would simply be. So I breathed in, feeling the wind in my hair and the warmth of Lennon's body as we soared through the sky toward Visu.
Load failed, please RETRY
État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
-- Classement
Power Stone 
-- Power
stone