Chen Ruoxi's words, sharpened by seething anger, were far more cutting than before. Bai Zhanfeng's brow knit tightly; he was on the verge of a retort, but upon meeting Ruoxi's pale face, her hands clenched into fists upon the table, he reined himself in, saying, "I don't want to argue with you."
He held his silence precisely to avoid conflict, expecting her to be a woman of discernment. But it seemed he had misjudged her. Chen Ruoxi had always embodied grace, knowing propriety and restraint like any well-bred lady. Yet, even the most composed woman could falter when faced with unrequited love. When Old Master Bai sought a wife for Bai Zhanfeng, he had chosen one who would bring loyalty and avoid harm to his grandson. Ruoxi fit the role well—but the Old Master had underestimated love's power to erode reason, as well as the depth of Ruoxi's obsession and stubbornness.
The restraint in Bai Zhanfeng's tone only aggravated Ruoxi, who could scarcely recall a time he had shown her gentleness. How could she have ever believed that the words of that woman, Feng Xianyue, might hold truth—that his heart had never and would never belong to her? Hope? A bitter smile tugged at the corners of her lips. She harbored none.
She knew she was losing her composure before him, though she wished not to, yet the tidal surge of resentment and unsated anger seemed poised to overwhelm her.
"Does he really not want to argue with me? Does he even understand how deeply his words wound me?" From the day of her marriage, she had kept her role with exacting diligence, managing the affairs of the Bai household flawlessly. Had her efforts not sufficed? Where had she fallen short?
"I only did what I thought I must."
Ruoxi's voice had grown cold. Her grievances with Xianyue slowly shifted onto Bai Zhanfeng himself. "Why is it that you would rather believe an outsider than trust your own wife?"
He would favor a stranger, yet never cast her a true glance. If only a fraction of his affection for Xianyue could be directed towards her, she wouldn't have become this person.
"It was I who ordered Chuntao to watch Xianyue's every move," she declared, steeling herself with reckless abandon. If he could not see her, nor place his heart with her, then she would speak the truth, rather than let it fester within her.
"Do you even realize what you're doing?" Bai Zhanfeng's hand struck the table in fury, his gaze narrowing. How had he not known of such things?
Bai Zhanfeng had always viewed Xianyue as fiercely independent, unwilling to let others slight her. Yet he had overlooked one thing: Xianyue was also intensely loyal. She, who had considered him a friend, would never have willingly driven a wedge between him and Ruoxi.
His disbelief grew as he stared at Ruoxi. Was this truly the woman the Old Master had chosen? Now that he was aware of her machinations, he wondered if the Old Master, too, would feel regret.
"Of course I know what I'm doing. But do you even know what you're doing? You imagine you can understand her?" Bai Zhanfeng's gaze flared like a firestorm, as though ready to reduce her to ashes. Servants arrived at the noise, only to be waved away by Bai Zhanfeng's command to "Get out!"
"That woman is not merely the Queen of Feng, but also the consort of Lan," he murmured, the tension thick in the air, though Ruoxi seemed lost in her jealousy and resentment.
He remained silent, aware of the truths she spoke. Xianyue was indeed the Queen of Lan, consort of Lan Yixuan. He had often reminded himself of this, needing no further prompt to curb his heart's desires. He had no right to wish for more.
"Why can't you forget her?" Ruoxi demanded, the edges of hysteria creeping into her voice. "Since our marriage, I've devoted myself to managing the Bai household without a word of complaint. And you? You never once looked at me with any regard. If you never intended to care for me, why marry me at all? What does Feng Xianyue have that I do not? I wanted to understand, so I sent Chuntao to observe her. Even now, I fail to see what you find so captivating in a woman who does little more than eat and sleep."
She could not see what Bai Zhanfeng did. Ruoxi's outburst reminded him that he, too, had once joked about Xianyue's carefree nature. Yet he could not deny, in his heart, that Xianyue embodied a beauty that Ruoxi could not match. She was bold, fearless, and decisive. Unlike others, she held her head high, her words carrying a resonance that echoed through him. She loved fiercely and hated with equal conviction, incomparable in her authenticity.
"Young master, do you have any idea what I've been going through? Yes, you come home every day, but the first place you go is the Rose Courtyard. All this time, have you once come to see me? I wait for you at the door, yet you pass by without a glance. It's as if I don't even exist in your eyes or heart. Do you know what I feel when I watch you stand at the Rose Courtyard's doorway?"
Ruoxi spoke, her voice breaking into sobs. Bai Zhanfeng remained silent; he hadn't known any of this. But from the very beginning, he had been clear with her: if she sought love from him, she would be disappointed. His heart had shattered when Xianyue fell into Death Valley. Even though she'd returned to life, his heart remained empty. Now, Bai Zhanfeng lived solely for the Bai family as its patriarch. He wished he could treat Ruoxi well, but he couldn't deceive himself.
When Ruoxi asked what made Xianyue special, he had truly wanted to tell her, yet he refrained. In truth, Ruoxi had no shortcomings—many suitors had come seeking her hand—but he simply didn't love her. He couldn't help but compare her to Xianyue, and every time, Xianyue's radiance surpassed hers. Xianyue, with her unrestrained and proud spirit, would never stoop to deceit—such tactics were beneath her. Despite her carefree nature, she possessed a resolute spirit that rivaled any man's. Bold enough to stand up to even an emperor, she was irreplaceable.
Suddenly, a thought struck Bai Zhanfeng, and he looked at Ruoxi. "Did you drive Xianyue away?"
Ruoxi froze, her face paling. Normally, she would deny it, but now she had lost all sense of reason. "Yes, I told her to leave. I've had enough."
Bai Zhanfeng's gaze fixed upon her, fury building. He was not one to spare women out of mercy, and if provoked enough, he would not hesitate to act. He wanted to strike her, to demand what right she had to do such a thing. His hand lifted, but at the sight of her tear-streaked eyes, he clenched his fist tightly and lowered it with a resigned sigh.
"This is the last time, Ruoxi."
Bai Zhanfeng's voice was ice, each word a warning steeped in finality.
What right did she have? Simply because she was the Lady of the Bai household? Such entitlement belittled him. He wanted to argue with her, yet a sudden weariness washed over him. Facing her, he felt despair, a realization that speaking to her was a waste of words.
Women had never meant much to him; they were incidental figures in his life. He never expected to fall so completely, yet his heart was bound to someone who was beyond his reach. If she had not been his wife, he wouldn't have tolerated her to this extent.
This situation was partially his fault. But as for the love she sought, he could not give it. He had made it clear to her: if she ever wanted to leave, he would let her go so she could seek her own happiness. He did not love her; in fact, he felt resentment toward her. How could he offer her warmth or kindness? All he felt was guilt. He hoped this small remnant of guilt would not be eroded; otherwise, they truly would be at the end of their journey.
Their marriage required only that each play their role. Extra emotions were burdensome. As long as she refrained from overstepping or challenging his limits, he would turn a blind eye. After all, he had failed her as a husband.
Finishing, Bai Zhanfeng glanced at Ruoxi and turned to leave.
Ruoxi's shock subsided, and she ran forward, embracing Bai Zhanfeng from behind. "Young master, please, stay with me tonight."
He frowned, reaching to remove her hands from his waist, but Ruoxi only tightened her grip, refusing to let go. She sobbed, "Young master, what must I do?"
"Ruoxi."
Bai Zhanfeng's tone held a stern edge, his brows knit tightly together. He couldn't understand what she was trying to change, but whatever it was, she would achieve nothing with this approach. He didn't like Ruoxi, and he despised love born from humiliation even more.
"Just be yourself."
His father had introduced him to more than one suitable match, including daughters of prominent Bai ministers and even generals. These women seemed more aligned with his own values, and yet his father favored Ruoxi. The reason Bai Zhanfeng chose her was because his father claimed she was dignified, well-mannered, intelligent, and proud. He admired prideful women, those who would never bow before hardship—a preference shaped by Xianyue's influence. Even amidst a crowd, Xianyue's presence was singular, a head held high with a gaze of unyielding pride. In contrast, Ruoxi's submissive demeanor disappointed him, and he bore part of the blame.
Still, he reasoned it mattered little. He had married merely to honor his father's wishes; without love, any choice was inconsequential. As long as she knew her place, he had assured his father, who had repeatedly praised her as perceptive and honorable. Yet, in reality, she was far from it. His regret over his choice grew. Had he married another, perhaps this situation would not have unfolded.
What did he want from her? The Ruoxi he once knew and the Ruoxi now seemed like two different people. He hoped she would return to who she once was, unchanged by his presence, as if she could be the person his father had described.
Political marriages were common among officials. Such alliances lacked affection, so she should not have expected more or crossed boundaries.
Xianyue had left today, allegedly due to an approaching army led by Cheng Qiang, but he suspected other reasons. Regardless, Ruoxi would never believe he had no role in any of this.
That knowledge only fueled his frustration. Ruoxi's words implied she blamed both him and Xianyue, and her lack of accountability disappointed him. He valued strength and resilience in a woman, qualities he found lacking in her now. What he could not tolerate was her condescension toward Xianyue. Ruoxi's shallow assessment, based on mere days of observation, infuriated him. After all, this was not even her firsthand knowledge. Did she think the whole world blind, taking the word of a maid over what the world knew?
"Young master, it's been over a month. Will you still not forgive me?"
Ruoxi clung to him desperately, pressing her face to his back. "To continue the Bai family line, to fulfill Grandfather's desire for a great-grandson—that is my duty."
Bai Zhanfeng understood this. His aging father was deeply concerned, primarily because of his feelings for Xianyue. His father's concern weighed heavily on him, but none of that mattered now. His father was the one person he considered family, and the last thing he wanted was to let him down. During their cold war, he seldom returned to the Bai household, and even when he did, he secluded himself in the study. He knew this pressured Ruoxi, yet he never imagined she would resort to such manipulation.
"Young master, tell me, was I wrong?"
Ruoxi wept uncontrollably. She only wanted a child, to bring joy to his father and provide her life with meaning. She hoped that through a child, Bai Zhanfeng would finally turn his heart toward her. How could such thoughts be wrong? She couldn't see her fault.
Her blind persistence left Bai Zhanfeng speechless. He still remembered his heart stirring at the news of Xianyue's arrival in Baichu. Yet that night, as he lay drugged by Ruoxi, he felt he had betrayed Xianyue. Since then, he wondered if another man would have suffered the same as he did.
"Young master, please, tell me—what does Xianyue have that I lack? I will change; I'll be whoever you want me to be."
Her voice was loud, her tears betraying her collapse. Once, as a girl, she had only dreamed of marrying Bai Zhanfeng, content just to be at his side. She now realized that desire was a bottomless pit. Once her wish had been granted, she only longed for more.
These days had been unbearable. As the beloved daughter of the Chen family, a celebrated talent in Chu, her family's home had been flooded with suitors. And yet, her husband viewed her with such indifference. When she saw him look at Xianyue with such warmth, she wished he could look at her that way, even if it cost her life. Was that truly asking too much?
Others envied her for marrying into the prestigious Bai family, but who could understand her sorrow?
"Your father has not been well. Go back to visit him tomorrow and spend some time with him."
Ruoxi froze, staring at Bai Zhanfeng's cold profile. Was he sending her away? All for that woman, Xianyue? What had she done wrong? She had only acted as any woman would.
Her gaze hardened, a chill spreading through her. Was he truly abandoning her, simply because she had sent Xianyue away from the Bai residence?
With all her strength drained in an instant, Chen Ruoxi sank to the ground, clutching Bai Zhanfeng's leg, refusing to let go. The thought of being cast out of the Bai residence left her mind blank.
Heartbroken? Perhaps her heart was already dead. When she'd first heard Bai Zhanfeng dismiss Nian Xiaoyu, she'd felt more relieved than sympathetic—he had yet to accept anyone, which left her a glimmer of hope. Now, was this her retribution? Had Nian Xiaoyu also felt the same desolation when scorned and mocked by Bai Zhanfeng, but refused to let go due to love's fervor? Nian Xiaoyu had finally moved on, but could she? As Bai Zhanfeng's wife, even returning to the Chen household would invite rumors, and her grandfather would ultimately insist she return.
She resented Xianyue, yet she couldn't help but envy her. No matter her feelings, Xianyue commanded fame across the land, outshining all princesses. Even Princess Chuxue, a beauty among beauties, had been overlooked by Lan Wang in favor of Xianyue, who had captured his heart to the point of inspiring his loyalty unto death. Of all the women in the world, why did the most distinguished men always favor her? Showered with boundless affection, she remained indifferent, likely unaware of how intensely others envied and resented her.
Bai Zhanfeng allowed Chen Ruoxi to cling to him without pulling away. The man he was now was no longer the Bai Zhanfeng of old; he wouldn't treat Chen Ruoxi with the same harshness he once had shown to Nian Xiaoyu. Having tasted the bitterness of unrequited love himself, he understood, to some extent, her suffering.
But even so, he could not give Chen Ruoxi what she desired, nor would he offer her any promises. Affection was not something one could simply grant on demand.
Chen Ruoxi sat on the ground, her mind having already endured countless, silent cries of despair. Yet this time, she dared not display her anger; she knew that blaming Xianyue would only fuel Bai Zhanfeng's disdain.
"I will not return, my lord," she stated firmly, each word heavy with determination.
She would stay in the Bai residence. This was the dream of her youth, and having come this far, she wouldn't retreat—not merely for herself but for her family's honor. She would not bear that shame, nor would the Chen family. She knew those who had long envied her position were eager to see her fall, but she would not give them the satisfaction.
"I, Chen Ruoxi, was born a woman of the Bai family and will die as a ghost of the Bai family."
Her hand drifted to her abdomen, lingering in a moment of silent contemplation. Another thought suddenly came to her, and she gently placed her hand on her belly. A month had passed, and soon, she might know the answer.
Bai Zhanfeng turned, watching as Chen Ruoxi pushed herself up, her face pale and tear-streaked. A flicker of pity crossed his heart as he reached out to pull her to her feet, only to release her hand moments later.
"If you wish to stay, then mind your duties," he said. The Bai and Chen families had a long-standing alliance, and he did not wish for anything to disrupt their bond.
Chen Ruoxi gazed at his retreating figure, her heart chilled. Her hopes with him were dashed, but she would reclaim what was hers. Since the virtuous Miss Xianyue was held in such high regard, then she would start there.
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