Chapitre 9: Alisa Mikhailovna Kujou
ALİSA MİKHAİLOVNA KUJOU
''Dad, who is this woman?''
"She looks a lot like you, Alex," said the woman who was holding my father's arm and then she came in front of me and bent down and caressed my head.
"Take Alisa to her room," my father called to my nanny.
"But Dad, you promised to spend time with me today," I managed to say in a low voice, but I got the usual answer from my father.
''I'm busy now, later''
'But he promised...'
In the following days, my father started to come home more often with that woman, but I did not mind because my father was no different than usual.
One day, my mother came home earlier than usual and started shouting, and then my father started shouting too.
I don't know how long it took for them to stop arguing, but when the screaming stopped, I started going down the stairs.
As I was going down the stairs, I saw that the room was in disarray and even my mother's favorite vase was shattered on the floor, and my mother was sitting on the floor and not moving.
When I approached my mother and touched her shoulder, she looked at me with angry and disgusted eyes.
''Do not touch me''
''Mom-''
''I said don't touch me!''
Not wanting to upset my mother any further, I quickly withdrew my touch and took a step back.
Then my mother stood up and looked at me.
"I wish you were more like me"
'That day, I could neither understand why my mother said these words to me nor why my parents were arguing, but maybe because I was a child or maybe because I had given up hope on my father, I took my mother's words very seriously and tried to be like her with everything I had.'
'Until that day...'
''Make sure the girl never appears before my eyes again.''
"Hai Kujou-sama," said the servant standing behind me and tried to grab my arm, but I quickly dodged him.
"Mom, whatever mistake I made, I can fix it. Please don't leave me alone, I will be more like you..."
"As long as you have that man's disgusting white hair, you can never be like me, you look like him in everything..." my own mother said with a cold face.
'Disgusting White Hair...'
'My mother hated me because I constantly reminded her of my father and his betrayals, and my father was indifferent to me...'
'After that day, I never had the chance to meet my mother face to face again, and I sometimes had the chance to meet my father face to face, but these were very rare because they were both constantly receiving reports from the servants who looked after me, so they did not feel the need to talk to me face to face.'
"That was a pretty rude way to wake someone up," he said, yawning.
''I don't care, you should have woken up when I called you.''
"Why are you so angry today?" he said as he turned towards me.
"My hair," I whispered as I lowered my head, my voice was quite low so I didn't expect him to hear it.
"Shouldn't you be asking girls questions about your hair?" he said, looking at me confused, then frowned and asked, "Are you insulted because of your hair color?"
I remained silent because I didn't know what to say. I don't know why I tried to ask him this question in the first place, but how did he know before all this?
''How did you understand?''
"Your eyes," he said as if they were very open.
"My eyes?" I repeated his answer.
"People often say that the eyes are the window to the heart, and from what I can tell from your eyes, you are broken," he said as he put his arms back on his desk and put his head on his arms so that he was facing my direction.
After his words, I looked into his dark purple eyes, but I couldn't see anything there.
"Liar" I said in Russian
"What did you say this time?" he asked as he looked at the window showing the bright sky.
I ignored his question and asked my own question again, "Do you think my hair is disgusting?" I said, looking at the ground, my words were no louder than a whisper, but he heard them again.
"I don't know who told you this, but if it's someone from school, I think you should just ignore them, after all, every boy in school would probably die for you."
"I asked for your opinion," I said as I turned my gaze from the ground to him.
He first showed a confused expression, then he took a breath and started speaking.
"Your hair is quite beautiful and unique, so you shouldn't take jealous remarks seriously."
I wasn't sure exactly what I should do because of his words, so I started looking out the window to avoid seeing his face.
'Why did our classroom become hotter?'
I whispered "Arigato" but he probably heard that too
'Why did I ask him that question?' This question occupied me for the rest of the day.
***
31.12.2014
"Have you applied to ANHS?" I asked Indra as he left the kitchen.
Today was New Year's Eve, so I came to his house to ring in the new year together, and since we were neighbors, all I had to do was take a few steps to come here.
"Actually, I don't plan to study high school in Japan, Alya," he said and destroyed all the happy mood I was in.
"What exactly do you mean by not going to study in Japan?" I asked, hoping I misunderstood.
"I received an offer from America and I plan to evaluate it," he said comfortably while sitting on the sofa where I was sitting and drinking his coffee.
I managed to whisper, "Are you leaving me too?" But as always, he heard it again.
''We can still stay in touch over the phone.''
"I don't want to talk on the phone," I said suddenly.
''Why are you leaving?Aren't ANHS's facilities as good as, or even better than, schools in America?" I said while trying to convince him.
'Not again, I can't let you leave me too'
"You're probably right, the facilities at ANHS are quite good, but I want to start my own business, so it would be better for me to choose America," he said while continuing to drink his coffee.
''But there is no need to talk about these issues, let's start watching the movie now.''
''No! You will not go to America, I do not allow it," I said, raising my voice as much as possible.
"What kind of relationship do we have that requires me to ask your permission?" he said in an icy voice and the tears I could barely hold back were now slowly flowing down my cheeks.
'He's right, we are nothing more than childhood friends'
'But that doesn't mean I'll let him leave me'
'If he leaves, I will be left alone.'
'I can't let him go.'
'He is mine, he must be mine'
With the thoughts in my head, I unconsciously climbed onto Indra's lap and clung to his lips.
and he pushed me...
"What are you doing, Alya?" he asked while examining me.
"I was just taking our relationship to the point where you needed my permission," I quickly replied.
"I don't think you're okay, I'll take you to your apartment," he said and took me in his arms and took me to my apartment next door.
He carried me to my bed and then left my room and after a while I heard the sound of the outside door closing so I left my room and went to the kitchen and took a knife from the drawers.
'He's ignoring me, he's ignoring my confession, the man I love is leaving me, so why should I keep living?'
'Nobody wants you'
'Even your parents don't love you'
'Would that perfect boy love you when even the woman who gave birth to you didn't love you?'
'I am worthless'
To silence the voices in my head and to leave this world where no one wanted me, I raised the knife to stab my heart, my heart that beats for him, but a warm hand prevented my suicide.
"You seriously need to see a psychologist," said the voice I fell in love with.
He took the knife from my hands and put it on the table, then he took me by the wrist and brought me back to my bedroom.
I asked after I got over my shock.
''Why? Why did you stop me?" I said in a weak voice.
"Because you were trying to commit suicide, I think that's reason enough."
"You ignored my confession and you are preventing me from killing myself, I can't understand what you are trying to do anymore," I said as new tears began to flow from my eyes.
"Nobody in this world wants me" I whispered
"I want," said the person I valued most in my life, causing me to turn my gaze from the ground to him.
''You?''
"Yes Alya, I want you, so don't think that no one in the world wants you," he said while smiling.
"You're lying" I said as I turned my back to him
''No, I'm not lying''
"When we were kids, you told me that the eyes were the mirror of the heart, but that was also a lie, you are just trying to deceive me so that I wouldn't commit suicide," I said, but suddenly he grabbed my arm, turned me towards himself, and kissed me.
"Look at my eyes, Alya, do you think they're lying?"
He was right, I could see many emotions in his deep purple eyes, but what attracted me the most was love.
"No, they are not lying," I said and pulled her into another kiss. Meanwhile, because it was a new year, there was the sound of many fireworks exploding outside...
***
[Ikemen Ranking]
1) Kagneou İndra
2) Hirata Yosuke
...
[If Kagenou-kun wasn't dating Kujou, I would definitely ask him out.]
[As if you could, you'd probably faint before even looking at his face.]
[Oi! Kujou-san is also in this group, be careful what you say.]
[We were just stating the facts, he's so perfect.]
...
'Bitches.'
After reading the messages praising Indra, I hung up the phone and put it on the table. At that moment, Indra entered with ice cream plates in his hands.
"As far as I remember, I didn't do anything, so do you want to explain why you're looking at me angrily?" he said while giving me my ice cream, but I ignored him and ate my ice cream.
"Judging by your sullen expression, you won't tell me," he said, pinching my cheek.
"Anyway, more ice cream?" he asked, pointing to my almost empty plate.
***
"You do realize that spicy food is not for you, right?" he said while looking at me suspiciously.
''Why do you think that?''
''Because you eat Dessert every day''
"Just because I always eat sweets doesn't mean I don't like spicy things," I said as I started walking ahead.
''Hai Hai''
After arriving at a place popular among students with its spicy ramen, we placed our orders, but even the names on the menu took away most of my brave attitude from before.
'What kind of name is Hellish Torment?'
"Hashimoto is calling, probably something important, I'll be right back."
Shortly after Indra left, our orders arrived and the food looked like hell, living up to its names on the menu.
While I was looking at the spicy ramen, Indra came back and started eating her ramen after greeting me.
Continuing my brave attitude, I ate a spoonful of ramen, but my mouth immediately started burning.
When I looked at Indra, I realized that she was watching me.
"Are you okay?" he said smiling.
"Yes, I'm very good, it tastes great," I said, trying to smile to make it convincing.
"Does it taste so good it makes you cry?" he asked while giggling.
"These are tears of happiness," I replied.
"If you say so," he said, and with his gloved hand he took out a bag from next to where he were sitting, put it on the table, and took his handkerchief with his ungloved hand and wiped my tears.
"If you give me that ramen plate, all the desserts in this bag are yours," he said while smiling.
I didn't respond out loud, and after pushing the ramen plate towards him, I immediately took the desserts out of the bag.
***
Author:
English is not my native language so please ignore any spelling errors.
[The year they entered ANHS was 2015]
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Oshborne
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