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I'm sorry, but this is not my cup of tea. I have read up to chapter 5 and I will say that everything seems to be fine, but there is a feeling of shrinking.
Here is it, as per the customs a 5 star review from the author, the journey has just started and i hope you guys enjoy this as much i did while writing it.
Though, it is just starting but it's like breath of fresh air as far as I am concerned, i haven't read this trope yet ....so keep up the good work 👍
Continúa con el gran trabajo autor-san 😁👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
the story is actually impressive for a beginner but i have some questions , critiques and suggestions u said u don't like plot holes but how is the mc in the same class as rias and akeno , the mc is like 15 yrs old while rias and akeno are both 18 yrs old at the start of the series , was this a mistake or is it 3 yrs b4 canon My critique I think u should have fleshed out mc relationship with his parents better allow us to see why the mc loves them so much , so it would have hit harder when they died or as story progresses giving us flashbacks of the mc past so we can understand the mc pain better also u the fanfic pace is a little to fast u should add a little bit more dialogue btw characters and the fights are two short , the choreography isn't bad but the fight should be longer and should have a more satisfying end , try watching naruto or jjk for inspiration , also will the mc become more emotional now that he has an uchiha bloodline . Suggestions i feel u should give out more time for the mc train his abilities , also try to find away for the mc to combine abilities that he gets for example combine thunder breathing + renewal of takwendo to create a brand of high speed combat style , also can u try and flesh out the mc character more
I'm sorry, but this is not my cup of tea. I have read up to chapter 5 and I will say that everything seems to be fine, but there is a feeling of shrinking.
Here is it, as per the customs a 5 star review from the author, the journey has just started and i hope you guys enjoy this as much i did while writing it.
Though, it is just starting but it's like breath of fresh air as far as I am concerned, i haven't read this trope yet ....so keep up the good work 👍
Continúa con el gran trabajo autor-san 😁👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
the story is actually impressive for a beginner but i have some questions , critiques and suggestions u said u don't like plot holes but how is the mc in the same class as rias and akeno , the mc is like 15 yrs old while rias and akeno are both 18 yrs old at the start of the series , was this a mistake or is it 3 yrs b4 canon My critique I think u should have fleshed out mc relationship with his parents better allow us to see why the mc loves them so much , so it would have hit harder when they died or as story progresses giving us flashbacks of the mc past so we can understand the mc pain better also u the fanfic pace is a little to fast u should add a little bit more dialogue btw characters and the fights are two short , the choreography isn't bad but the fight should be longer and should have a more satisfying end , try watching naruto or jjk for inspiration , also will the mc become more emotional now that he has an uchiha bloodline . Suggestions i feel u should give out more time for the mc train his abilities , also try to find away for the mc to combine abilities that he gets for example combine thunder breathing + renewal of takwendo to create a brand of high speed combat style , also can u try and flesh out the mc character more